OK here's the deal. I was at my friend's party last night and I was talking to one of my other friends about something my step father said to me. Basically, I don't like him. And I don't speak to my real dad either (my choice) and then I just went "I just don't like guys I think...they don't have a good impact on me" as a joke, this friend is a guy. And he said to me something about the bad influence making me become a lesbian (I'm bi by the way and no he doesn't know). He didn't mean it horribly, I don't have him down as the homophobic type. When I laughed, he didn't realise it was cos I'm bi, obviously, and thought it was cos it was something I'm embarrassed about and don't like to talk about (he's a bit older than me). But it got me thinking, is it possible, that someone can have so many bad experiences with the opposite sex that they become gay/lesbian? By the way, not talking about myself, just wondering if, generally, it could happen? Like I said, random question lol!
I've been wondering about that too.. Most of my male encounters have been pretty bad (assult etc.). But I wouldn't like to say it's the same with every lesbian/bi, but it might be a contributing factor. But.. yeah, actually I had some gay tendancies before even my first experience with a boy/man, so maybe not.
I am a lesbian and I know plenty of gay men and lesbian woman. The majority of my friends come from good homes with loving parents. I grew up in an abusive home and had/have a very abusive father but I don't think that is why I am a lesbian. I have never had a bad experience with the opposite sex besides my father. I had a great long term boyfriend who if I were straight I would have probably married because we got along so well. It's just that i'm a lesbian and not attracted to the opposite sex. You're not the first person to wonder this however. There have been many studies done on it, yet no concrete conclusions. Just like in the world of straight people some have good parents and some have bad. Same goes for us gay folks.
Its always been said that a bad relationship makes you a better person my self hold no stock in the statement cause bad relation ships leave scars some times that dont heal and my thoughts on the topic well hmm i guess its possible for some one to turn to a same sex lifestyle based on how there experiences with the oppisite sex have and any one that hits a women deserves to DIE ....err sorry im really really aginst abuse i put my friends lights out once cause her ex hit her on a daily basis(note friend is her ex and she became friend threw them hanging out with me if that makes any sense( er sorry bableing now i hope i helped in some way Huggles
If it is true, i don't reckon it'd apply to everyone. If i wanted to say that something turned me gay via a relationship, mine would be the reverse. I could say that "the relationship i had with my father turned me gay cause of the neglect/abuse and therefore I crave for a mans loving attention". But really, i believe i just developed naturally gay, and i would of became gay with or without the relationship i had with my dad. My opinion, it would depend on the individual and if they want to blame an incident on their sexuality.
I think that a very poor relationship with the opposite sex could drive someone to have a same sex experience, or a very brief relationship, but I seriously doubt that anyone could ever turn themselves to the other side just because they have had a bad relationship with someone from the opposite sex.
I had my first proper relationship with this guy, I had lesbian tendencies before i knew him, but not very strong ones. anyway, after he broke my heart, it got me thinking, why should I put up with being with a man, so I explored my attraction to women (I'm not saying that all men will break my heart, I know that women do that aswell) so, you could either say that I think I am a lesbian just because of that bad break up, or you could say that when I was depressed about it I discoved that part of myself that developed. blessings xxx
It depends entirely on the person. Sometimes in my practice (I'm a kinesiologist/naturopath) I see men who obviously have a lot of issues, but it varies a lot. Sometimes, a lack of maternal support can make a man seek out other men for support, or equally the reverse can be true. I'd say as a root cause, IF bad experiences ARE the reason for someone being gay/lesbian, then it's a lack of male/female role models as a child that causes it, not an abusive (non-parental) relationship, because we tend to seek out people that support our view of ourselves - if someone, deep down, believes they're not worthy, a victim etc. (and again, this normally stems from parents) they will attract a partner that supports that worldview. Which then, through over-reaction AGAINST that stimulus, leads to gay/lesbian tendencies. But as always, everything comes with the caveat that it doesn't apply in 100% of situations. Everyone is unique, but remember this: The Universe tries to prove you right. Think you're crap at something and hey presto, you'll turn out to be right. Attitude is everything, I see SO much of that it's unbelievable.
I dont know that i believe in becoming gay/lesbian based on bad experiences. Gay people have been trying for years to get people to understand this isnt a choice and we were just born this way. Saying someone became gay because of a bad xperience is just adding fuel to the fire. For gay men, check out my homepage...i've made a decent site for us all to enjoy.
