cracked amber

^thanks...tho i have to give credit for the first line of the second stanza and the whole third stanze to freakymetalchik she wrote those words i just tied everything together and posted it.

thanks for the suggestion i rather like that name.

 

I really enjoyed all of your new poems posted since the last time I read them. Pure Hatred Towards Me was the best! I wanted to come up with a title for #19 and you may know I also write kind of dark but I had a really hard time with a title. I finally thought "Dead" ... she lays there for hours and then her soul is damned at the end... although she is having feelings like hope, hate, disgust... I could envision a cadavre in a way because she lies there waiting on others to find her and blackness enters her heart and her soul becomes damned. Okay, not that great a title but I tried. It was kind of interesting thinking about it as if she was already dead... and just waiting to be found and getting angry about not being found. I'm sure that wasn't your intent but that jumped out at me for whatever reason. Keep sharing, I enjoyed reading these and would like to see more!

 

I like the vampire poem a lot. It rings true for all kinds of people who have been abused or hurt who then try with all their might not to become the abuser or hurter. This is a dark and clever poem.

As for the others, poem#19 is the one that I most enjoyed. Your wording is great and the idea that Vetty had about being dead already is quite clever. Emotion runs rapidly through most of your work and these are no exception.

Peace,
A.

 

You and freakymetalchic make a good team. I like both of your work. And yes, you do think much alike -- not surprised you two are friends. Makes me think about my best friend and honorary adopted brother. We've been friends/brothers since the 4th grade [1961]. There have been times when we've actually had whole conversations just by telepathy, and then suddenly realized we hadn't actually been speaking out loud for the longest time. And, that we even saw the same images/visions about the conversation in our minds. We never conciously knew how we did that. And, were never able to to do it on purpose. It just happened every so often. Usually when we were really stoned, but not always.

Another suggestion for the title of #17: SHATTERED

 

^ thanks guys.

vetty good inturpretation...i did mean it as she was already dead and she was waiting to be found...but after a little thought i also interpreted as her laying there after slashing her wrists or so drugged she couldnt move...and she was waiting for someone to care enough to come looking for her.

redyelruc thanks so much your words and comments alway make me feel better about my writing...i guess thats from the lack of self esteem i seem to have...but its getting better.

Me and freakymetalchik have only been friends for a little over a year...but we just clicked automatically and have stayed close ever since...even after i moved almost two hours away

 

as always all comments and critisism is welcomed

Hidden

The world is an evil place
where its people feed off pain
and will devour you in a second
if you let out a foolish tear.

So grite your teeth and bare the truth
hold back the tears and pain
dont show an ounce of vulnerability
for once they see it theyll eat you alive.

So keep tht numb expression
as they say cruel things about you
dont show them how low you feel inside
lock it away in the pit of your soul.

 

all comments and critisism is welomed.

Sidhe

Pixies float around my head
telling me secrets of an unseen world
here it lays in the walls of my room
where only my corupt mind can find it.

Everything isnt how it appears to be there
all has a hidden side
making me crave finding it
hidden behind the obvious.

So here I stay
in the confinds of these walls
searching for a new light
and a new truth.

 

My daddy taught me the lesson of what you have in "Hidden" - but it's probably one of the reasons I'm alone now... keep too much hidden when I should share and be open. Guess that's why I write! Your last untitled poem... I sensed it wasn't finished quite yet. Not sure of a title... but want more, more, more to figure it out.

 

yea my parents taught e that lesson at quit a young age. it is missing something but i dont know what. thanks for the feed back vetty

 

this one is rather spurr of the moment so editing ideas are welcomed.

I inhale the thick sticky air
and grasp the grass around my body
as he gently kisses my neck
puncturing my innocence with his ambition
and making everything around me blurr.

The world moves too slow
for us to care about the consequences
we just act upon feelings and wants
making unseen love seen plain as day
in that passionate touch spread on the yard.

The cold nipps at my face and my teeth clench
then just as they do he moves his face into mine
keeping it warm and yet still keeping the rhythm
between our movements perfect.

Gracefully he moves his lips to my ear
and whispers a sweet line that sends my heart
racing at a whole new pace;
I never knew I could feel so much
he loved me and i was so afriad of loosing him.

When the deed was done I just lay
there in his arms staring into his eyes
feeling his heart beat with mine
and hearing him breathe
made me realize what I'd been missing for so long.

 

it also needs a title any suggestions?

 

'Sidhe'

is a beautiful name...

 

yes it is thanks so much

 

we make a great team.
i like em all.
love you amber

 

can come back to it later... if you like, keep writing! good stuff!

 

ive recently met someone so completely perfect for me its scary...but i wrote this the day after me and him shared our first kiss.

True Love

You walked into my empty life
and ripped open my heart
letting the love flow from my blood
into your hands and as I reach out
you pour your blood upon my head.

Love is all that remains within us
our heart beating only for each other
our breathing shallowed
we hold onto our souls just so we can remain
in each others arms.