It seems to me that I can't make friends. It hurts, alot, this lonliness. I know I sound pathetic, but i have no where else to turn, i must sacrifice my pride and insecurity to the mercy of the public eye and mouth. When i was young, i had many friends, i talked alot, and i was just a friendly guy. But eventually, as time passed, i became cold, quiet and started to lose contact with my friends due to moving or just plain alienation. Even in the recent spring, i met a group of friends. I was excited by the prospects for a new opprotunity to feel loved and just enjoy life, but that was shortlived. It didnt take long to lose touch, now i just see them once in a while, exchanging nothing but a hi. I have contemplated the cause for my anti-social feelings, those that have isolated me from people, that has made me idolize figures and concepts of darkness and hate. I used to think i was a bad ass, but now i see this coldness as a poison. One cause for all this that i have just concieved is based on the old saying "think before you speak". When i was young, i talked alot, sometimes that brought friends, most of the time it harbored enemies and hate. Feelings of insecurity began to flower, and i stopped talking, thinking that everything i have to say is stupid, and never coming up with anything non-stupid to say. Another theory is that i have let the harsh words and actions of my peers define me, their insults evolving into my personal traits, their scorn ful looks as my essence. When i walk down the halls of school, that lonely desolate prison, i feel as if people give me looks of hate and terror, like i am a rapist or killer. Its horrible I try to talk, but the only ice breaking phrases i use is "How is life?" but the humidity of akwardness still plagues me and hinders my friendliness from coming out. What can i do, what can i do to stop this, to become friendly. I want to love people, but it is so hard, my heart has become hard and cold, what can i do to break the frozen armor that has shielded it from everyone? Anything is appreciated, even your comments of disgust, for the latter, i will only give you a nice batch of sarcastic remarks and insults thank you
i have a hard time making friends too. i just dont really like people....but damn if it doesn't get boring being by yourself all the time. most of the things i say are pretty stupid too, thats why i hardly ever talk when i first meet people in person. better to piss them off after they've seen a few redeeming qualities so theres still a chance they wont hate me, lol. but yea, shit, i'll be your friend.
get a job doing customer service (ie movie store, coffee store, book store, etc)... itll force you to deal with strangres nd from there build some social skills
