Lets dance in the rivers of babylon And undress our hearts So true love may show Fornicate intangible love Like the Gods Iv been trying to get into poetry, what do you guys think of this little poem?
I like the symbolism and the general idea. Just not sure if: "Fornicate intangible love" really makes sense... I think it's using fornicate incorrectly. Though you might be able to make it work with a little punctuation changes: "Fornicate. Intangible love... Like the gods." not sure though...
Lets dance in the rivers of babylon And undress our hearts So true love may show Compose intangible love Like Gods acting in a heavenly opera. i think that sounds better
