Friend, boyfriend, FWB... none of it's good enough.

I've known this guy since March, and he and I are really great friends. Things have been up and down, but lately they've been really good. We get along a lot better than we ever did and we've learned how to take each other. I admit, he is probably my best friend. I mean, we talk everyday, sometimes two or three times. I feel like I could tell him anything. And I do tell him a lot about my past that I haven't told a lot of people, which has made me have a kind of screwed up love life. I love him to pieces, and wouldn't want to have to be without him in my life.

The thing is, I want to see where else we can go with this and he has said in the past that he does too. So, I've asked him out several times over the last month. He always has an excuse as to why he can't go, or he says he doesn't know, and he blows me off, but we always end up on the phone that night anyway. So, I forgot about it... I thought, "Fine, then maybe it wouldn't be bad to have a friend with benefits kind of situation with him if he's not looking for a date..." And I mentioned it. He said he didn't know at first, but then later, he got really pissed at me and said, "I guess I'm just not boyfriend material, huh?" He then called me a spoiled little brat who can't have everything her way, which was uncalled for and ridiculous. (And caused us to not talk for a couple of days.

Soooo, I dropped that idea. And we went back to being friends again... and then he started talking to me as if he wanted to hook up for sex. And he also mentioned us going out sometime.... so, I thought, "Okay, one more time..."

I went and asked again if we should get together this weekend- anything goes...a date, a hook-up, just two freinds chilling, whatever. He acted all excited, and I thought it was finally going to happen. He had to work Friday and Saturday nights. So we were gonna go out tonight. Well, he called me last night after work, and I asked what we were doing tomorrow. And he said, "I'm just gonna lay around on my couch... I don't know about you."

What is up with that??? I mean, damn. I've tried every scenario to get us together in some way or another, and it never seems to be enough until it's off the table. Meanwhile, I'm the one called the tease. He can't make up his mind!! Any advice??

 

I would just bring it up and be blunt with him. Tell him that you are interested in what might become of you and him but everytime you try to anniciate something he always bails. Honesty is 98% of the time the best policy.

 

You're probably right... though I don't know that it'll do any good. I almost feel like all he wants to do is play games.

 

I wouldn't waste much, better yet, any more time pursuing more, who knows if he really is just scared or uneasy and acts like a jerk as a front or what? I guess if you really want to see and be for certain then the one last time is the time to be blunt about it either it happens then or it dies then, least you know for sure...but "i'm gonna lay around on my couch" doesn't sound too exciting

 

You're right... we talked about it. And now, he says he doesn't think now is the time for him to get involved with anyone. So, I'm just at a loss. The saddest thing is, the guy is like my best friend, and I can't believe he's fucking me over like this when he gave me a hard time for not wanting to date him in the past when I had things going on. This actually figures. It seems to be the story of my life. So no big surprise.

 

Sorry for all of that but in reality, as much as it hurts to admit and please don't take this as me judging your friends and all, he isn't your friend...at least in my experience "friends" don't act like that, they don't break your balls (or ovaries lol) when times are serious for you, they lift you up and do what's in their power to make things better...not make you feel like complete shit in every single situation, you sound really down to earth and sound like you have a sound head on your shoulders it's only a matter of time until someone who deserves you cashes in on the opportunity, until then, ENJOY freedom and no obligations to anyone else, it's what I do every fuckin day =)!

 

No, you're right. And I've already began to just move on. Now, I know what will happen when I do find someone new. He'll start with jealousy, and that's when I tell him to go to hell.