Letting go

I'm still trying to get a handle on this one. I know it sounds vague, but I've only just realised that "letting go" during sex has become something comlicated for me. I'm always so wrapped up in how I appear, or perform, that I get too self conscious. It's partly due to the fact that I'm so fucking narcissistic, that sometimes I think I wouldn't even exist without the approval of others. But I want to flip flop that. If I'm making love with a guy, and he says: "masturbate in front of me" or something just as crazy, I not only want to take no heed, but I want to enjoy it as well!!!

I totally understand if you all say that I need a shrink for this. I'm just hoping to get a jumpstart on the therapy.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
opheliers

 

..............................................pm me I think I can help.

 

Just find your soulmate. After that it will come as second nature.

 

That's beautiful man, but unfortunately I don't believe in soulmates. Got anything else?

 

I like the way you think! And I say you're right.

 

So, I'm gonna be less optimistic... I don't think a soul-mate fixes it. But there IS something to be said for being with someone you are really comfortable with. Especially if you have trouble letting go, there's no way you can if you aren't able to really be comfortable.

I think the keys to it are taking time, knowing that it'll take a while to get over, it won't just happen immediately. Try to figure out exactly what the problem is, why you can't let go, what it is, big or small, that holds you back. Once you understand yourself better, you can work on fixing it. Some of it is will power, some of it is practice. Mental effort can go a really long way.

So yeah, no easy answers. Possibly talking to a professional about it could help you, but for yourself, the best things you can do are try to identify why you're having trouble, and give yourself time and patience to try to work through it.
I'll admit to having had a lot of trouble in the past feeling repressed and uncomfortable with my sexuality, thought I got over it, but I realize that I'm still not as comfortable as I want to be. it's less of an issue, but it's not gone entirely, to be sure.

Good luck to you.

 

oh, and whoa, you're an opera person! aaawesome.

 

personally,since i've been there,you have to just set yourself free...i know that i am my own worst critic,just let it go.....whatever flaw you see,not everone is looking for a flaw,people look for a connection and granted sex plays a big part but all in all,let it go,whatever it is that you are harbouring,let it go.im sure your a hot honey,find the beauty with-in yourself and there you will find bliss.........and better sex

 

I beleive in soul mates but i don't think you can go out and find love, i think loves finds you, it comes when you least expect it!

 

I completly agree with you!

 

I think a lot of people hold back during sex. And they only ones who miss out are themselves and their partners. Hold back too much and your partner may look for someone a little less inhibited.


What you need to do is recognise why. Did you parents cast negative vibes about sex? Are you religious? The mainstream religions do have problems with sex and sexual pleasure and followers can have difficulty reconciling the spiritual message with naked passion in the bedroom with a lover.

Whatever it is that is holding you back, if you can find it and deal with it, it will turn your sex life around. I did a lot of talking with my wife, and sex was sooo much better for her and me once we worked to a point where she was prepared to let go more and to hell with the consequences.

But, as I said, not all partners will got that far.

Mark

 

did you try what i pmed you about yet? hows it going...c'mon, we need updates here

 

I meant to post a followup here before but forgot.

I'm doing much better about my little *cough* problem. I met someone who was even less experienced than I, but infinitely braver. Kinda inspired me to try more things. And not just taking nude pictures. I've even masturbated in front of him. Shit, if anyone had told me a month ago that I would be brave enough to post pictures of my boobs on the internet and masturbating in front of someone, I would have told him he was certifiable.

But I thank y'all for listening and giving me some advice. It helped me to be more receptive to this guy I think.

Loving this forum,
xoxoxoxoxo ophe

 

wow this is an old thread, but im glad it worked out for you.
hehe as long as you enjoy what your doing, keep on doing it!

 

What, she's just FUCKING GORGEOUS, and those are recent webcam pictures...
Well I guess she'll take you not believing her as a compliment... hehe

I like to think I helped, a bit.

 

HOLY hell, that's like, a major compliment THANK YOU!!!

But yes, that is me, and yes, I'm 30.

 

read the rest of my sig

 

have drunken sex, next time u'll 'let go'

 

you deserve all of the most piquant attension possiple ....you deserve to be worshiped .......at this moment in time and space you represent more than you are and are more than you represent ...and are deserving of an absolute obesience ....a total devotion .....

 

Comment on the general theme, not with the above post.

...Some women are just too civilized.