i dont think i would ever tell that to anybody in my real life

I think i have serious trust issues. I dont feel conected to anybody and i dont think anyone would ever want to look inside me. I learned to wear mask and not to show the truth that i feel, because im scared that im gonna be rejected, that im not gonna be accepted for who i really am. I think i scare people away from me and people scare me and push me away from them. I just cant find a place where i can feel calm, relaxed, confident...just normal. I feel a pressure inside my mind every single morning that i wake,until i go to bed again, if i go to bed at all coz i cant sleep. I think im loosing myself. I feel alone, even if there are people around me. I feel like crying even when i pretend to laugh. Its just hard for me sometimes. Ive been to so many psychologics in the past...i just dont belive anyone ever can reach to me and fully understands. Sooner or later there is always a disappointment and nothing really worths.

 

Im the same way i guess, at home im my self, but when i reflect on what i do outside of my house it seems like its not me. I try be normal outside but somehow i forget how. Sometimes i avoid going places because i feel its not where i should be. I dont know what goes on and should go on,but i hear "Your fucked man" at least twice a week, i take it as a compliment usually, but i cant help but feel, wow, what makes me so fucked?

 

Sometimes I have a hard time finding connections with people. But what really helped me like with social stuff is just telling myself to go with the flow and take whatever comes your way... somehow just thinking that way really helped and I broke out of my shell

 

i am the same way. i swear it helps to take a deep breathe and say to yourself: i dont give a goddamn"

 

Yeah I just say "I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks" to myself... its gotta help

 

i can relate completely, its extremely hard for me to make friends and just be social. thats why i like to drink, it makes me happier and less inhibited. (im a bit fucked up right now, lol) i think mostly its just about anxiety and inhibitions, being worried how people will perceive you. i always have a lot of anxiety and worry, its just part of my personality. when i focus on being more carefree and relaxed, i feel much better and enjoy being around people more, but its something i really have to work at.

 

i think everyone is at least a little afraid of being rejected. People make themsleves to be who everyone else wants them to be. When you're all alone (or with close friends) just burst out and do what the real you does. It relieves some stress i find to just let go sometimes wether in public or not.

 

ya sound like a typical teenager to me. Dont worry Hannibal Lector would be happy to see your insides. Bwahahaahahahah

 

I can sympathise with that... I just get drunk and stoned to deal with social situations

 

we are alone in this world though. You see that, but you see other people who are this and that - and you think why arn't i like that. Its cause they dont see the truth, so many people dont - and thats why they all get along so well. Were as you and i, we see the truth - it just takes a while for us to understand.