Parents are christians- Help

I dont believe in christianity really. I think it can be a very ignorant religion and very closed minded. My mom and dad are baptists so believe if you dont believe in that youll go to hell. This will obviously cause them to try to force their beliefs on me. My dad doesnt bother me about this but my moms always bothering me to do bible school hw and to go all these christian events all the time and she doesnt catch on that I dont care much about it. She doesnt really seem to know I dont accept christianity and sometimes I just want to scream at her that I dont believe in it. This would cause so many problems though within the family and its more trouble than I think its worth. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated.

 

deal with it for 3 more years and then when you move out at 18 you won't have to do shit anymore

 

If you really think it will cause problems...you can always still attend the functions for your mom's sake...but perhaps try looking at the material in your own terms....see if you can make peace with Christianity not as the Baptist view of it sees it, but as you see it. Look for perhaps the deeper meaning in things and then go to these events yet keep in your heart what you know to be true. I made much of my peace with Catholicism that way. If you are not a full blown atheist....see if this helps. If you are an atheist...see if you can find an secular humanist inspiration from the Bible or from the teachings...it isn't all bad...but I know that the dogma and the rediculous-closemindedness can sometimes be overbearing. See if it helps.

If it doesn't, think of ways that you think you can approach your parents than will not cause them too much grief...

 

Thanks for the advice. Im not an atheist, Im agnostic. I guess what just bothers me is having to keep it secret from her that Im not christian. Ill try to just look for the deeper meanings in the messages like you said. Thanks again.

 

some good advice above me here...

after a catholic childhood, it took me years to understand that everyone is entitled to their own way of belief in the divine, or god, or insert-name-for-the-supreme-mind here.

as a non-christian, the toughest thing is allowing the christans to believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong, because they do not reply with tolerance or unconditional love (which seems to me to be what jesus was preaching).

but i guess some christians will probably argue vehemently, with quotes from the bible too! but before they try, i will say my final 2 cents:

i saw a t-shirt a week or so ago: god is too big to fit in any religion and that's how i think too.

 

I think that honesty isn't the best policy here. you need a way to get out of religious services but without your family being concerned over your eternal soul?
the best way i've found is to get too invovled with the religion. read up on all the crazy shit in the bible and start forcing your beliefs on family. make them keep the sabbath (it's a lot harder than it sounds, you can't use any electricty), keeping kosher, all the bizare leviticus commandments (including leaving a portion of your garden for beggars, giving strangers accomodation, not touching a woman for two weeks after her period ((the really annoying part is constantly asking your mother/sister about her cycles)).
Do baptists speak in tounges or get the holy spirit? cause i've found that faking a seizure during every church service will annoy the hell out of everyone.

pretty soon they'll stop raising the subject all together, and if you give them the inpresssion you're doing religious-y stuff (you can go to the movies instead) they won't force you to go to church.

ps: try to create a schism at your church at every oppurtunity you get.

 

eugene you are a master... but i am not sure the planet is ready for you yet...they need about another 5 000 000 years of evolutionary work on their humour

 

Instead of playing silly games as suggested by the above posts, tying to be disruptive, which would be sure to upset your parents, why not just try being totally honest?

Say what you feel to your mum. Try to explain your reasons.

Honesty is supposedly a christian virtue, so they can't really criticize you for telling the truth about how you feel without moving well into hypocrisy.
Would they rather you lied? Would you rather you lied?

 

have you ever met a fundamentalist christian?
if you tell them you don't believe they'll think you're posessed by a demon or an agent of the devil. they will force you to go to church, and they will force you to obey their commandments, and if you're a member of one of the screwier branches of christianity, they'll exocrsie you (not fun at all).

if you go overboard with your religion, they won't worry about your eternal soul, and they'll think you're too much of a disruptive prescence to drag along to church functions. leaving you free to ponder the mysteries of the universe in peace.

 

How will they force you to obey their commandments?

Maybe what's really needed here is a bit of good old fashioned rebellion against mom, pop and apple pie............become what used to be called a 'refusnik'.

 

the good old fashioned rebellion rarely works. it will just piss off the parents instead of accomplishing your goals.

 

research the bible. memorize all verses that have to do with tolerance, persecution, etc. mostly, memorize jesus' words. make sure you have a good list of hypocrasies. have all of this ready before you tell your mom that you want to find god on your own terms. tell her you don't need church because god is everywhere. tell her you want to come closer to him/her/it through your actions, rather than some bi-weekly ritual. hope that helps.

 

Yell "fuck god" in their faces.

They won't change, they're way passed the age where their minds can expand rapidly with little input. They probably won't accept your beliefs, just tolerate them. This situation can't really be fixed because of everything that goes you take into effect.

 

Thanks for the advice. Its all worked out now mostly. Im not going to go and try to disrupt church, I think thats completely disrespectful. Its not like they come and disrupt my meditation. Ive worked out an agreement were I only go to church once a month which Im fine with. I just told my mom I dont like church at all and we came up with once a month.

 

Way to go man. A peaceful route is always prefered. Sometimes you have to compromise with family in order to maintain the peace. I'm a pagan, but my mother is the head of christian youth ministry at a local church. I've never told her I'm not christian, nothing positive would come of it, and in truth my beliefs are nobody's business but my own. I don't perticipate in any christian rituals though, I do have standards to maintain after all.

 

One of the first replies about fitting your beliefs to Christianity--doesn't work; I've been through that.
Ask yourself: At it's most basic definition, a Christian is one who believes Jesus Christ, God's Son, died for your sins. You can mold the morals, but not the facts--that's what ALL Christians argee on. Do you believe it?

...neither do I. Just doesn't make sense, does it?

What to do?
Being in a similar situation, as I've gone through my spiritual discovery and acceptance, I've eased my way out of most of my church related expectations. I used to attend youth every wednesday and choir every Sunday night, and have successfully ended both. My parents are not strict 'church EVERY Sunday' people, but when they go, I go, because not doing so would raise too many questions and eyebrows. Once, when I didn't want to go help them with something they voulenteered us for ('us'...and I had no say in this); I suggested that they go and I stay home, and then it was made out as though I wasn't supporting them... so I tell myself that I do these things for their sake, but I wonder if they'd do the equivalent for me.

I don't feel like I'm in a situation that I can be open with my beliefs with my family, because I don't know how they'd take it, and I don't have the time or mindspace for extra bullsh*t that may arise from it. So I choose to, basically, remain silent on the subject, and maybe, if the situation arises, we'll talk then.

 

maybe not as far as religion, but odds are your parents have done just as much for you several million times by now

 

That is true for meny of us here.

 

Eugene... you're a genius. That's all I've really got to say on this topic...