getting colder by corey plankey underneath a tree you sat with me tears welled up in your eyes. not wanting to cry, crying anyway. with no reason to say why. your soft smile faded into fear as you stared off at the sky. eyes which once held such hope looked tired, and worn. like a stray cat in january, ragged, beaten and torn. goosebumps dotted your tiny arms and the wind was relentless. i took your hand and held you near, but happiness is evanescent. i started crying too for the same reason as you.
It's a good start, but I feel like I'm left hanging at the end. A few punctuation items could help increase effectiveness, but really it just seems unfinished. I'd like to read more!
I dont know man, the ending can leave you hanging, or it kind of brings you right back to the start, thus the poem describing the thoughts of 1 moment.
