Thoughts on depression and the illusion of independence

I spent some time the other day reading through the thread on survivors of suicide and have to admit it got my eyes wet a few times. It's very sad that so many people who suffer from depression never seek help and end up killing themselves. It's also sad that so many people who suffer from depression are so harshly judged...by others and by themselves too. Of course it's normal to feel anger toward someone you care about who commits suicide, but, speaking as someone who has experienced major depression and the perception warping effects of it, I can say with certainty that people who commit or attempt suicide are not in thier right minds---they are in a world made black, ugly and evil by the perceptions that thier depression produces.
It's easy for some to say it's all for attention or whatever, especially in the case of unsuccessful suicide attempts, but no one can know what is in someone elses mind. Reality is perception and judgements like that are based on the assumption that everyone is living in the same objective reality but reality is subjective and different for everyone. I think one of the biggest perception distortions that people who suffer from depression suffer from is the perception that they are weak and pathetic, and it isn't helped by the fact that so many people who don't suffer from depression have the same view.
I think that plays a big part in why so many people never seek help until it's too late. Even the smallest challenges can seem overwhelming to someone who's depressed and just like challenges can be exaggerated so can the feeling of being weak when faced with the inability to cope like other people.
People who have obvious physical disabilities are often spoken of as admirable and inspirational, while people disabled by depression are talked of as self-pitying whiners when the only real difference is that physical handicaps are visibly appearant while emotional ones are unseen by others.
To everyone who often feel like life is overwhelming and pointless I just want to say don't let feeling weak keep you from seeking help. If you really think about it, everyone is dependent on others. Dependence is the human condition. No one is really independent, as much as they like to think so. I'm not a big fan of prescription medications---I'm more a believer in herbal remedies...including marijuana, but many people refuse to consider any medication for depression because they see it as a threat to their perception of independence. But dependence is a fact of life. We don't feel overly dependent because of our need to eat food every day, why should we feel that way about other things?
When it comes right down to it, independence is an illusion. Need help? Get help! We all need help.

 

i agree. our society is isolating people too much, and it is creating increasing problems with mental health. we have an ideal of strength and independence, but in reality we cannot exist in isolation...we're just not built that way. if you're having trouble, reaching out is definitely the way to go. and if someone trusts you enough to reach out to you for help, you should be honored.

 

I totally agree with you, depression is a tough nut to crack. The way people are when depressed is an extreme paradigm of the norm. To be depressed changes the chemicals in the brain so that seeing things for the better just isn't possible without great determination or help from others. I am frustrated by people who judge people who are depressed, but haven't been through it themselves as they have no idea what that person is going through.

nd pansy, you are correct in talking about the sufferer reaching out or seeking help, as it can be hard to get better alone, you can try and try but it can always come back around. People and support are they key to getting better, I just feel for the people who don't have friends or anyone to talk to about their problems as without someone to talk to the problem just stays with you and cannot be dealt with properly. So I totally back you pansy in saying that anyone who is depressed who may be reading this should reach out and seek help.

 

Yes! Good point! Why think of it as a chore? It's a chance to add meaningfulness and connectedness to your life.