While we Burned: Los Angeles Fires October, 2007 The smoke from the fires collected in the sky as if the city were a lounge filled with haunting jazz and the sweet haze of cigars. And ash rained down upon us, dusting our hair with temporary jewels, burning our throats. The wind did not blow it away, but like a tornado, kept it swirling round, kept the fire moving. At dusk the ocean and the sky shared the world. And across hillsides in darkness the cat eyes crouch, red embers to remind us that we are hunted, that fire, like man, can claim the darkness.
[The smoke from the fires collected in the sky as if the city were a lounge filled with haunting jazz and the sweet haze of cigars.] Your opening stanza is superb! Very concrete and with just enough unique imagery to make it really stand out. I absolutely adore the image of a lounge with jazz and a haze (mm zz's alliteration) with cigars. [And ash rained down upon us, dusting our hair with temporary jewels, burning our throats.] Again, great image of ash raining down, as if it's a natural occurrence, when clearly it's not. temporary jewels is also a very memorable image. [The wind did not blow it away, but like a tornado, kept it swirling round, kept the fire moving. At dusk the ocean and the sky shared the world. And across hillsides in darkness the cat eyes crouch, red embers to remind us that we are hunted, that fire, like man, can claim the darkness.] And wow, what an ending. cat eyes crouching! red embers!!! Inspiring.
very nice use of imagery...nice metaphores as well...and i agree with kitten, the first stanza is superb...
