12 triple c's, right now? I'm stuck home for the rest of the night, no school tomorrow and stuck home for the weekend, so nothing big coming up. I've got plenty to do around here to keep me busy. Anybody else wanna join me and have long convo's? If I do I'll be blazing through the night as well haha
Alright well I have consumed the consumables, and now my night is getting started like a greyhound out of the small wooden box. Hoo boy this is gonna be fun, feel free to talk about whatever you'd like
too late haha. Little miss sunshine very accurately narrarates my life, which at this point in time looks like a very twisted tale. I wish I had someone to love, thats my only wish. Maybe it isn't? Life is verry complicated and difficult sometimes. When high school is over life must get easier. I will go to college for four years, thankfully scholarships guarentee me tuition of about $10000 year. At this point in time it is an unreasonable amount of money. I cant work 9-5! Everyday for my whole life? Must I? EVERYBODY's life is spent looking for something. What will I do all my life? I can't live on the edge like this forever. Society stings and hurts, why must they be so intent on gaining money? I just want to find the love of my life, my other half, my other gear, my woman. When two beings form one.... I am filled with too many thoughts... I wish sometimes that my mind would be quiet, It just kind of repeats the same things over and over again.
Ok listening to the DEAD now its wonderful. What an inspiring thought train. Choo choo here comes the thought train hahaha. This trip was good, I realized much about myself and how I handle things. I must take more time to celebrate, yet at the same time, I'm my own grandpa! AHHH I remember saying that while on acid a while ago hahaha. Life is good through a good pair of eyes, so I need lazer eye surgery. I AM ME. social situations. I think too much during them, around certain people I am myself, a natural leader, a bass player, a funny guy, a witty guy, doctor canavan. These people are my friends and i put them in my hand like dice. Kelsey and becca and kelsey and bryan and steve and jean and ches and serah and many others. Finally I am loved! Thank you lord for my life and my loved. Why do O act myself arpund some and not others? I like it when I'm myself, its a funny thing to watch. Sometimes I'll run or yell. Maybe I'll smile and say something that doesn't make much sense. The ones that laugh are the ones I like, these people know the value of happiness. Hahaha wow typed a lot, I feel lighter now. Sometimes I wish more people would follow me, but I would get annoyed if they actually did. You gotta do what you gotta do! I don't feel like I belong in a public high school, it feels hostile and wrong. The woods feel right. Me and one or two good friends with a nose for the horizon. Free and easy just like its suppposed to be. Slowly life moves towards my ultimate goal, the happiness. One by one the parts fall into place and I become where I wanna be. Minor obstacles in my way, my car crash, sister ran into a deer, suspended from school, lost wallet at Phil Lesh, parents won't let me play show this weekend, no money. The load get lighter and lighter as I drift away.... anybody want to come along?
... I feel sooo much better now that all this thinking is done... I'm on my way back to Earth now after much thought and selfdiscovery. This week I was suspended from school from some stupid vandalism thing I did a long time ago. I thought it was funny at the time and so did everybody else, but looking back it was very immature and unneccessary. Unfortunately I cannot change my past actions, so I'll live with my mistake. This action has lead me to a week of Outofschoolsuspension and tonight I have had some very enlightening thoughts. My life, bedroom, and schoolwork is back in order again and from here on out I think I can last. Shipsafe! Ready to ride through the storm till 2012! Four more years and then I get to taste true freedom. Not being expected to be anywhere! What will it be like? Will I starve to death? Will I thrive? Honestly, I think I will thrive on my own. If I set the rules, skies the limit! No needless little rules (be on time, stay organized, pay taxes, make money, drive between the lines, don't grow certain plants) I live on my own fucking rules when I leave this system. A stickler for the rules. HAHA CHARADE YOU ARE YOU MORON! ...Is every human mind capable of waking up and smelling the noonday coffee? ...Are they capable of seeing that they are locked in prison? ...How do they not see that living like a robot will not make you happy? ...Are they seriously so incredibly stuck in the mud? ...Welll I guess its not my problem anymore, never really was. Whatever happened to benevelont acquaintanceship? The joy of knowing everyone in your village is unique and proud of it? What happened to the characters? Theres just a couple left in the bag, but you gotta sort through a whole lot of dead seeds before you find 'em.
I know there's a large concentration of individuals on this website and some may read my message and take it to heart. Please read all of what I wrote if you're gonna read any of it. Movies, books, music, art, etc. Individuals, leaders are everywhere. The guy/gal who everyone is always talking about. Sometimes they're not talked about, they should be however. Anyone who has figured out how to break the mold has much to be proud of. In every corner of society these people exist. Is it just a product of modern society that we have 25 pieces of dirt for every individual? Why are some people so braindead and others gifted with a brand? Is the brand deep within all of us or just some? It appears to me that many just don't have a sparkle in their eye, their soul is as shallow as a puddle. The people I like are the ones whose soul runs deep like a mountain stream. Their eyes look like well full of cedar colored water with a couple dead leaves floating on top. People like this bubble with energy and do things that don't really make sense to anyone but them. They don't desire to always be the center of attention, because they long ago realized how childish this is. Some people, however get caught up in the attention-grabbing phase (also known as the 'punk' phase)
I went through this punk phase, and I'm glad I did. I vandalized, stole, and did many other things that to this day I wonder why. I don't regret it, because it led me to where I am now, and I like where I am now. Everyone has to go through this phase to realize where the limits of acceptable behaviour go. Plastic. I dont like political correctness, words are so dumb. If you're offended by a word, then you have a fucking problem I don't care who you are. Words don't mean shit if you know who you are. They are merely a way of communicating, a carrier pigeon of sorts. If you are self conscious about anything at all, find out why. Change it if possible, and if not possible or if it is too difficult, learn to be happy with this supposed flaw. Keep in mind that this flaw is only a flaw because of other people. One thing I'm self-conscious about sometimes is that I'm too skinny compared to what I wanna be. I'm a 5'10" 18 year old male that weighs 120 pounds. My metabolism is too high, but I would rather be skinny than fat. Look for the bright side. What will I do about my problem? I'll put on weight in muscle by working out 30-45 minutes 4 or 5 times a week. Soon I'll be my ideal weight (130-140lbs) and by then I should be very strong and physically in touch with myself. This is exactly how you need to address every confidence issue.
Hahahaaha I gotta stop typing and just go to bed. The Allman Brothers Band is so awesome, thanks for the atmosphere you gave me. Good night and good morning world!
Yeah haha I had no idea I typed that much. That trip was very meaningful to me, I learned a lot about life and the proper way to live. DXM is too limited physically however, acid is much more intense and off the wall. DXM sometimes leaves me with nothing to talk about and then my thoght train goes to shit. Acid is unbelievable with how different every moment is. I think it helps show how to appreciate life more in that aspect. With the right perspective and the right lifestyle, every moment is different and a new day is a new adventure. Dxm just kinda feels about the same every time, and its really bad for you.
Man...that's awesome. I have very similar thoughts sometimes...and I don't even do drugs barely..lol. But I can realate to that, and I think that thinking deep like that is really beneficial. I almost feel like I have to write my thoughts down because I have so many. Sometimes I have an urge to do something great in my life, something I can be remembered for. Usually when I listen to inpiring music I feel that way. Anyway, I've never done any drug besides weed and alcohol but now that I read through these forums I really want to. I feel like it will really broaden my view of everything. I'm an open-minded person to begin with. Anyway, it was cool reading your thoughtful posts.
Thanks for reading, I got more where they came from haha. Yeah you sound like the type of personality who would be interested in the world of psychedelics, I was like you about 6 months ago, then I tried salvia and shortly after acid and shrooms. They really change you a lot, but absolutely for the better. You learn so much with every trip, especially if you are openminded and willing to be different. You really stop taking a lot of things for granted as well, and thoughts become more connected and creative. Good luck with your thinking, feel free to ask me anything.
Yeah. I mean the only thing that bothers me alittle about drugs and such is the way our government, and a lot of adults make it seem that drug are so bad and if you do them you're a loser or something. My parents tried to drill it into me about how weed and other drugs are so bad, and when I tried it and researched it I found out that most of what I was told were lies. So at the beginning I kind of felt guilty for even trying it. But then I realized that most people have a really twisted view of drugs and our society really pollutes the word. Alcohol is just socialy accepted, but is no better than any drug IMO. Anyway, yeah I'm planning on trying shrooms for the first time in the next week or so..so that should be fun. My friends have been wanting me to try it, and I think I'm ready. I plan on going into it with a calm, open minded attitude and get the most out of it. btw, I see you live in south NJ. I live in Pa. outside of philly.
Yet again, I was pretty much the same haha. I used to be really against drugs and drinking, but then I realized how many lies were involved. I only really condone the use of psychedelics and some alcohol here and there, none of them with any regularity. Alcohol is good for a good time, but it usually tastes bad and it can make you really sick and possibly die, and I tend to do things I later regret while drinking. I live right near Pennsauken if you know where that is. Just tell me when you guys are gonna be trippin, we could always meet up and smoke a bowl or something. Do you happen to play any musical instruments?
oh ok cool, Yeah I think I know where that is. I used to play guitar, but stopped for a while. Deffinately want to get back into playing again though.
