Best way to cure homophobia?

Hey everyone, I'm an 18 year old boy in college and im having alot of problems with my sexuality. i'll try to keep it short and simple because I know how people hate reading a wall of text. So hopefully the people here can help.

First and foremost i have nothing against gay people. Never have and never will, I just never considered it to be me, ya know? but one day I got high with some friends, and then got the strange urge to kiss my other guy friend to see what it was like. That was 8 months ago and its been bothering me endlessly to the point where its basically killed my love-life with my girlfriend. Luckely I'm in college now so I have some time to sort things out before I go back to her. Anyway i've been thinking ALOT since then and I've come to the conclusion that no, I'm not gay. Why? well because:

When I was a kid I allways talked about having a wife, also I would get onto porn sites for fun lol

I don't fantasize about men

I've never had a gay experience before

I tried watching gay porn and at the same time trying to get myself hard, and it didn't work

ect ect, im sure yall get the point

*plz keep in mind im not trying to say being gay is a bad thing! Its fine if thats what you want*

So now i've come to the conclusion that im homophobic, not in the bad third-rich kinda way, but in the way that somehow I've become afraid that I might be gay. I think it comes from me allways feeling like I have to prove myself to my older brother...but that's alot of personal crap im sure yall wont care about. I believe this is true because everytime I see a guy on TV with his shirt off or I see a guy modeling some boxers my mussles kinda tense up, I get an odd feeling in my groin that I can only compare to a dog cowering, and I can feel my subconscious screaming "IM NOT GAY IM NOT GAY"

So basically my conscious knows im straite, but my sub-conscious is still afraid of it. Or at least thats what I think is going on. So I think I need to do some experimenting to ease my mind. I think I should go to a gay bar, meet a guy, try it out, and see how things go. I believe that's the only way to know whether or not I would like it. So is this the best way to go about this? Or is there something else someone could suggest?

Also, as a side note, is this common in people my age?

 

I don't think I'd go to a gay bar, "meet someone and try it out". Too risky in too many ways. I think I'd find a gay friend I knew and trusted and talk to them about your feelings. I wouldn't want to experiement in another situation where any kind of mood altering substance was involved. If you want a clear minded assessment of yourself you really need to have your mind clear. Heres a real important thing to consider, even if you do decide to have sex with another guy it wouldn't necessarily give you an answer. You could find out it was OK but you still liked girls, you could end up being disgusted with yourself and think that you were tainted for being with another guy, you could find out that it felt nice and maybe want to try it again. Still no real answer. If you're gonna try it make sure you do some clear-headed thinking before hand.
There is frequently a period in young peoples lives where they question their sexual orientation, sounds like this is your time. You say it's killed your love life but it sounds like you aren't around her cause you're away at school. If thats the case why do you think these thoughts about being gay are killing your love life? Maybe its just preocupation with school and other distractions.
So you kissed a friend while you were high, Thats cool. In a healthy society I really can't see why that would concern anyone...that said, we don't really live in a healthy society. There's way to much homophobia thats built into us so that any expression of affection from one guy to another is label as, Gasp, "GAY". It was a case of one young human being, under the influence of a disinhibiting drug, experiementing with affection for another. You don't say anything about the immediate reaction either of you had to that. Was there any feeling or reaction? And as a final thought...relax, hell, you're statisically very unlikely to be gay...and even if you turned out to be gay so what? You're still you and you're probably a pretty decent guy.
Cool that you are able to come here and look for answers, says a lot about you being open minded and honest. If you see the guy you kissed before try blowing in his ear this time... no wait, just kidding. Good luck.

 

Amendment:

 

This is my first post here, so hello everyone.

I agree with yarapario's suggestion of finding a gay friend that you trust and talking it out. Someone who knows more about your life may have more suitable suggestions for you than anonymous people like us. Of course, it does no actual harm to ask us here, and I understand there is a possibility that you may not have such a friend in your life.

I don't know exactly how far you're willing to go for your current girlfriend, but I can see how it would effect how you feel around her. I don't think it would really hurt to experiment a little, as you suggested, but perhaps you should take it slower than simply grabbing the first guy who wants you in bed. It's important to be able to feel like you're being true to what you want. If you feel comfortable with a girl, then there's nothing wrong. If you feel comfortable being with a guy as well, there's nothing wrong with that either. Guys and girls are both lovable in their own ways. See which fits you best.

That said, I'm only 20 myself, so I'm not suggesting that my advice is right. That's simply how I would assess the situation. The decision is yours; I simply hope that my input may have helped you consider your options.

 

Well, either way you're obviously neurotic.

If you're so afraid of being gay I can tell you right now there's no such thing... people always go back and forth all the time, even if it's between unstoppable lust for one sex and some vague semblance of a feeling for another. I know for me it's not very often that the two end up sharing my headspace for a certain amount of time, but that's not to say it isn't possible. So what... I'm supposed to say that because I think I'm one thing, or someone else says I'm one thing, then those other things don't exist?? Why put limits on yourself??? Especially in college!!!

You can have some kind of gay heart to heart and it might be interesting but ultimately you just need to get over yourself and start thinking from your own point of view instead of the one that mommy and daddy and wherever you came from have conditioned into you. One hard truth you're going to have to confront is the fact that you're not really all that special or unique, and that almost everyone else has gone through what you've gone through.

But as far as I'm concerned, anyone who says you're either completely straight or completely gay is a fucking tool and they know nothing about themselves and tend to have a really narrow view.

Also, if you grab the first guy you see and fuck him, it will be more worry than fun. In those kinds of situations people tend to be really slutty and may carry heaps of things that they more than likely won't tell you about. You might not get anything, but the worry is awful enough. Don't do that. Just wait until you're high with your friend again, and see if you still want to fuck him... he might be thinking the same thing!