I started out living in miami, and i told myself the only drug i would only touch is weed. There in miami, thats were my life was. My freinds, and pretty much the people i cared about. Then i moved to a small town in indiana, since then iv tried cocain, acid, ecstasy, oxycottin, numerous pills and salvia. I have tried them, but the only drugs i ever touch daily is weed. I do good in school and i just recently quit my job (fight with boss). I want to get away from drugs but i just...cant. My whole life is based around them. All my freinds, my thoughts. Its like i cant escape them. If i quit doin drugs(mostly smoking weed) i dont even know what i could do. Its like drugs have corrupted my head so much i dont even remember what it was like before i started. Then we get to depression. I cant stop thinking about florida and reminesing about my life there. It plagues my mind. This is where i mix the two. It seems like the people around up here, i can never trust. I feel like there always out to get me up here, and alot of the times they are. I never thought i would get to this point, but i find myself thinking often "What is there for me to do in life?". I know im still young (16), and alot of people my thinking "Oh, your still a developing teenager". Thats a load a bullshit. It wouldnt matter if i was 36, the point of the matter is i dont know what to do with my life. I know its a pretty long rant, and ill be surprised if anyone actually reads it through. I just feel like this move from miami to indiana is driving me insane slowly, and the wierd thing is i have decent relationships up here. My life has been fine all my life. I guess im just lookin for some feedback.
Stop thinking about drugs and you'll stop doing them. P.S. dont EVER be surprised what people are willing to read on Hip... or write...
Its not about doing drugs. thats the easy part. Its about my environment that drugs has brought around me. the people, the places, the secrecy, the trouble. I live in a small town now, there isnt much to do here. Just about all my freinds smoke/do drugs. My REAL freinds are in florida, and even though i have freinds up here, its like i always i have to watch my OWN back. Im tired of it, but i dont want to isolate my life. I guess its hard to explain if you have never been in the situation.
