Bamboo dreams

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by bird_migration, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. bird_migration

    bird_migration ~

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    Bamboo dreams and dreaded lights
    And flights of seagulls screaming
    For nothing that we'll understand
    And nothing we could be dreaming

    For children's songs and sandy rocks
    And flocks of seagulls mourning
    For time that passed and passing time
    And yestersummers morning

    As bamboo dreams vividify
    And lights that last 'come clearer
    We realise with wisdom comes,
    The dreaded light comes nearer



    [​IMG]
     
  2. poopzilla33

    poopzilla33 Member

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    i like it alot, you could try messing around with the syllable count in each line and get some kinda form in there
     
  3. groovecookie

    groovecookie Member

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    Seriously, you're 8 and you wrote that?[​IMG]
     
  4. Malapascua

    Malapascua Member

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    Yeah, 8, with over 14,000 posts. ha ha ha ha
     
  5. groovecookie

    groovecookie Member

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    Jeez, if he's an 8 year old, he should get busy being an 8 year old. I'd like to hear an 8 year old say the word "vividify". lol
     
  6. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    haha that made me laugh out loud.
     
  7. bird_migration

    bird_migration ~

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    Instead of helping me to become a better poet you guys make fun of me.

    How rude.
     
  8. senzgirl

    senzgirl Member

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    Wow....that poem was unique and intruging..I highly enjoyed reading that.
     
  9. bird_migration

    bird_migration ~

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    Thank you very much, Senzgirl.
    I do not mind being critisized, but I dislike being made fun of.
     
  10. senzgirl

    senzgirl Member

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    I wasn't making fun of you I was telling you Ienjoyed your uniqueness and talents.
     
  11. bird_migration

    bird_migration ~

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    I understand that, that is why I was thanking you.

    I was referring to some of the other posters being nasty.

    So again, thank you kindly, Senzgirl, you are sweet.
     
  12. groovecookie

    groovecookie Member

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    bird migration, it wasn't you or your poem I was making fun of. I don't know you, so I wouldn't make fun of you, and I definitely wouldn't make fun of your poem because it's awesome......it's just too awesome to have been written by someone who's really 8 years old which is why I was making fun.......maybe you are 8 in which case, I am the biggest boob in the universe and you are going to be a great poet so you needn't worry about a boob like me
     
  13. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Bird, be nice to groovecookie or if you really want to play an 8 year old internet prodigy, delete those pictures of your ole self in the gallery, silly boy.
     
  14. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    PS the poem isn't bad, but too sing-song rhymey for me, but I just have my own preferences. your ending was kind of eerie, dreaded light made me think of death.
     
  15. poopzilla33

    poopzilla33 Member

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    please take my first suggestion i made seriously it was not meant to be anything but helpful
     

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