Bamboo dreams and dreaded lightsAnd flights of seagulls screamingFor nothing that we'll understandAnd nothing we could be dreaming For children's songs and sandy rocksAnd flocks of seagulls mourningFor time that passed and passing timeAnd yestersummers morning As bamboo dreams vividifyAnd lights that last 'come clearerWe realise with wisdom comes, The dreaded light comes nearer
i like it alot, you could try messing around with the syllable count in each line and get some kinda form in there
Jeez, if he's an 8 year old, he should get busy being an 8 year old. I'd like to hear an 8 year old say the word "vividify". lol
I understand that, that is why I was thanking you. I was referring to some of the other posters being nasty. So again, thank you kindly, Senzgirl, you are sweet.
bird migration, it wasn't you or your poem I was making fun of. I don't know you, so I wouldn't make fun of you, and I definitely wouldn't make fun of your poem because it's awesome......it's just too awesome to have been written by someone who's really 8 years old which is why I was making fun.......maybe you are 8 in which case, I am the biggest boob in the universe and you are going to be a great poet so you needn't worry about a boob like me
Bird, be nice to groovecookie or if you really want to play an 8 year old internet prodigy, delete those pictures of your ole self in the gallery, silly boy.
PS the poem isn't bad, but too sing-song rhymey for me, but I just have my own preferences. your ending was kind of eerie, dreaded light made me think of death.