Bamboo dreams

Bamboo dreams and dreaded lights​

And flights of seagulls screaming​

For nothing that we'll understand​

And nothing we could be dreaming​

For children's songs and sandy rocks​

And flocks of seagulls mourning​

For time that passed and passing time​

And yestersummers morning​

As bamboo dreams vividify​

And lights that last 'come clearer​

We realise with wisdom comes, ​

The dreaded light comes nearer​

​

 

i like it alot, you could try messing around with the syllable count in each line and get some kinda form in there

 

Seriously, you're 8 and you wrote that?

 

Yeah, 8, with over 14,000 posts. ha ha ha ha

 

Jeez, if he's an 8 year old, he should get busy being an 8 year old. I'd like to hear an 8 year old say the word "vividify". lol

 

haha that made me laugh out loud.

 

Instead of helping me to become a better poet you guys make fun of me.

How rude.

 

Wow....that poem was unique and intruging..I highly enjoyed reading that.

 

Thank you very much, Senzgirl.
I do not mind being critisized, but I dislike being made fun of.

 

I wasn't making fun of you I was telling you Ienjoyed your uniqueness and talents.

 

I understand that, that is why I was thanking you.

I was referring to some of the other posters being nasty.

So again, thank you kindly, Senzgirl, you are sweet.

 

bird migration, it wasn't you or your poem I was making fun of. I don't know you, so I wouldn't make fun of you, and I definitely wouldn't make fun of your poem because it's awesome......it's just too awesome to have been written by someone who's really 8 years old which is why I was making fun.......maybe you are 8 in which case, I am the biggest boob in the universe and you are going to be a great poet so you needn't worry about a boob like me

 

Bird, be nice to groovecookie or if you really want to play an 8 year old internet prodigy, delete those pictures of your ole self in the gallery, silly boy.

 

PS the poem isn't bad, but too sing-song rhymey for me, but I just have my own preferences. your ending was kind of eerie, dreaded light made me think of death.

 

please take my first suggestion i made seriously it was not meant to be anything but helpful