i posted something about this already but decided to move it to the right thread There is this man i have been interested in for a long time. I think he is perfect in every way and i know him well enough to know that he is right for me. But he is painfully shy, shy to the extent where i think he is incapable of being in a realationship or initiating one. He is in a band and performs in front of tons of people yet he cant even make eye contact when he talks to someone. i want so badly for him to come around, or at least talk to him about it. i know he is interested in me, his roomates tell me all the time, yet he just wont make a move. He hasnt been in a relationship since highschool because of his shyness. Should i make a move on him, or should i give up?? do you think it is hopeless to try to form a relationship with someone who wont open up or do you think if he felt comfortable with me he would come around? so i guess my question is... do you think he will ever be able to get over his shyness towards me?? i suppose there is only one way to find out... any of you have stories about a situation similar to mine i would love to hear them
ofcourse. It is always expected that guys make the first move.....why cant a girl do it? Makes no sense to me lol. it sounds like you both feel the exact same thing about each other, and he may be saying the same thing about you (that your shy) because you wont make any moves either....sometimes its hard for us guys to understand your odd messages...so make it easy and especially since you KNOW he likes you (which im sure he does btw) and you two seem to get along real well it makes it that much easier. Just tell him that you want him....more than a friend...or that you are falling for him....etc. Whatever.....Im also a shy guy, its just my personality...im not aggressive enough to initiate a relationship but it makes it a helluva lot easier if the girl asks for it. Like i said earlier, everyone for some reasons just expects guys to initiate things which is hard for some guys. That doesnt mean he wont open up to you? I think once you guys do have the label of being together he will only open up more.....go get his ass girl lol
Mrs. Oh - get a private moment with him and tell him that you like him a lot and really want to get to know him better. Then rent the DVD of the film starring Hugh Grant called "Love, Actually", or something like that, about various love stories where one or the other of them is afraid to show his or her feelings to the other. And talk about the film with him.
Trust me, it's not easy being extremely shy. If he's as shy as I am, you might catch him stumbling over his words when he's talking to you, and you might see him staring from afar a few times. I wouldn't know how to make him less shy though.
You should definitely talk to him and make a move if you know he likes you. What have you got to lose? A lot of shy people will open up if they get to know someone... I used to be shy so I know from experience. Good luck
I have to echo everyone else and say make a move! People are people... fuck the gender roles. If you know he is right for you, then you must know that you are going to have to take the lead sometimes. Some people are that way. I definitely need a girl who will take the lead sometimes. I'm not painfully shy like the guy you're describing, but I definitely need some help along the way... some road signs, some hints dropped, you know? Sounds like he is the same way. So, give him a bit fat road sign in the form of a kiss or just straight up saying, "I really like you" and see what happens.
I used to have a thing for really shy girls. Which works out well, because you can swoop in and overwhelm them with charm (they tend to get ignored a lot) and then when you're done they are too shy to even really say anything. Out of sigh and out of mind. So yes, swoop in and overwhelm him with your charm (if you're a girl, that should be taken as "with your breasts").
From experience, I know that you gotta make the move. I'm a very shy guy. If I see a pretty girl looking at me, I look away. I hate being so shy. Unless I'm drunk, I'll never talk to a girl that I have a big crush on, but even that is hard for me. When I do have a girlfriend, I feel that I'm more respectful and loving that my friends are to their girlfriends. Maybe this guy will be like that too. Just go to one of his shows and keep an eye on him the whole night. When you see him off stage by himself or even with a friend try to talk to him. When a girl tries talking to me when I'm with a friend I feel more comfortable than when I'm alone with a girl.
What is this, the 1950's? Make a move. As a shy guy I can tell you that it's way easier to talk to someone when you're comfortable around them - when you're around someone you dig it's pretty hard to do that. He will come around if you do something about it.
The last thing a shy guy will do is reject you in a mean way! I'm a shy guy. Even if I wasn't interested in a woman, if she came onto me and said she really liked me, I'd be flattered. THe last thing I would ever think of would be to reject her or be mean. Most shy people appreciate it when people approach them and say nice things. Go talk to him. I would be flabbergasted if he gave you a harsh rejection. Don't waste time- go talk to him and make his day! Good luck ~A
