I don't get people who take extremely fast shits

So here I am taking a shit at work, enjoying a nice magazine article. A guy walks in and sits in the stall next to mine. I hear two quick petite plops followed by one swift tearing of toilet paper and he's done. He gets up and leaves.

He took a shit in under a minute. I'm like um wtf. Do people not enjoy taking shits anymore? How the fuck do you clean your ass so fast? What the hell is going on?

Taking a huge shit is the closest any straight man can get to feeling what it's like to have something breach the hole in your ass.

 

i prefer a fast shit, so many better things to be doing than sitting on a toilet for 20 minutes

 

unless i have someone to talk to while shitting, i go as fast as possible

 

I didn't realize there were different categories of shits...

 

you need more fiber

 

I shit alot, so most of my shits are fast.

But... I make sure to have at least one nice long shit once a day, so that I could catch up on my bathroom literature.

 

why not take a fast shit and read the bathroom literature somewhere more comfortable

 

the toilet is comfortable....

 

That would take the whole point of "bathroom literature" out of the picture, now wouldn't it?

Seriously though... I love to read on the toilet, it is comfortable. Plus, I like to read a good 5-10 books at once, and I always have one book in the bathroom (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance currently... great book, intellectual without being pseudo-intellectual... very very few people are like that).

 

I take long shits. I’m a heavy guy. I’m not enormous. I like to stay seated for a few minutes before standing up again. Besides the shit takes time to come. I need quite a bit of toilette paper. However people with small asses are different. Standing and sitting makes no difference to them. They can even sit and shit without a seat below there ass. They won’t get tired. The shit comes out of them smoothly. It’s smooth like shit from a ducks ass. It takes a split second. The shit spews out quickly. Many skinny dudes eat little. They eat a slice of bread a day. Tomorrow they shit half a slice. There ass is hardly dirty from it. They just wipe the crumbs.





(I like this post. I’ll put it on my myspace blog. I am also called rak there)

 

trying eating a couple bowls of rasin bran and i guarantee you'll have some quick shits

 

That was very poetic and very insightful...
And pretty funny, I must admit I laughed some...

 

I don't understand people that spend a half hour in the bathroom at all... I go to the bathroom when I feel like I need to go to the bathroom, then I'm done. I don't see why THAT is weird. I have way better things to do than spend time in the bathroom...

 

my brother calls taking fast shits, Blasting a dook to the 5th power! No lie, he really says that.

 

I don't get how people stay in there so long. Sometimes i'll draw it out if I have something else to do and I don't want to..and havea good book to read. haha. ew

 

It's all about reading when I'm shitting at home... May I recommend "Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader" series to all of you. You be surprised at home many useless facts you can pick up quickly...

However, when I'm out somewhere - I take just long enough to get the job done... don't know if I've ever been under a minute though. The guy mentioned by the original poster must be able to take a John Holmes model dildo without flinching.

 

fiber.. i'm telling ya.. eat more veggies!

 

I stay at least 15 minutes in the bathroom when taking a dump.

 

Tosses his head back* …*Starts laughing*…hahaha!!!!!

 

why?