Does anyone else ever feels like they feel too much? That every feeling is overwhelming and everything you perceive just means a lot more to you. I've always felt this way and I think for awhile I forgot about it, doing too much drugs (the wrong kind) can make you cold and detached, but now that I've stopped with that, once again I can feel everything as a part of me. Life, people, everything around me, is not an outside thing, but just an extension of "me" and it doesnt stop, ever. It's beautiful, but it also drives me crazy, because is just too much and it's confusing, you have a mix of your own emotions with the ones of the world and it keeps on changing so quickly and drastically. You are somewhere and the energy of this place is one way, so you feel so bad that you just want to close your eyes and make it all go away, 10 minutes later you are somewhere else and the energy there is completely different and you feel so happy that you want to sing and dance. Today I woke up and it was ok, but then I got sad, for whatever reason, I dont even know, so I go back to sleep, to "escape" the feeling and I just end up having really sad dreams and waking up, feeling more sad and the process keeps repeating. I think I've been waking up and going back to sleep since 9am. So many people dont even understand it, whatever people say, whatever people dont say, whatever people do, whatever people dont do. If the sky is pretty, if the day is gray, if it's too loud, it it's too quiet, if it's too lonely, it it's too crowded... it all speaks to me in a different way and sometimes I really dont want to listen to it. It's funny because from all the people, my dad is the one who notices the most that Im that way and we really dont get along, but whenever he would say something to me that it was so true about who I was, I would cry, because I was confused on how this person who doesnt really know me, can see so much into me. He would always tell me that I was too sensitive and that I would let everything in and that it was like I wasnt designed to live in this world... sometimes I think it's true. Ok, let's stop with the depressing stuff. Im crying here and I thought of writing about it, instead of thinking about it. The really sad part of it, is the idea that creeps in the back of my mind, that I should start doing coke occasionally again, because at least when I did, I was able to "function" properly, without the crazy feelings, well there were crazy feelings, but another kind of them. I wont do that, because that's the period of my life that I felt less like me and I didnt like me, but now it's easy to see why you end up doing something in the first place.
yeah when i stopped smoking mj i felt more, everything seemed more in tune etc. also i perceived life differently since i watched american beauty, that film opened my eyes a bit wider. also sometimes theres too much, like crowds of people, all talking in different tones - some happy some not. all i do is pop my headphones in, put the sound up really high and put on some Moby or red hot chilli peppers, makes me not care about others worries for a bit.
I will actually take that advice. I used to walk everywhere listening to music, it was so much happier. Just walking, seeing things and the music kept me "safe" haha
Yeah I've discovered that sleeping on makes me unhappy if its beyond a certain point, because then I start kicking myself for not getting up and seeing what the world has to offer on that particular day. I don't like to walk around listening to music, because I don't like it when other people do that around me, it feels as if they're choosing to ignore every single person around them. If you are around people, I think you should be interacting with them. If you want to be alone, go and be alone, you will have a much better time and you won't hurt anybody's feelings that way. If I'm feeling like you currently are, I usually either organize a long crazy adventure with some friends spur-of-the-moment, or I go for a long walk in an unknown forest just to see what is out there. Those walks are far more valuable to me than any drug or even any music or friends because the wilderness has so much to teach. While walking through the woods I have some of my greatest thoughts and I just feel peaceful. The chatter in my mind slows and becomes one thought, and I become focused on the world around me, temporarily forgetting all the problems society brings to my table. I guess that is why I would like to live in the woods, next to a river. Rivers are so alive... Didn't siddartha find enlightenment while living next to a river? He was a ferryman and needed no one....
That's so beautiful I've been noticing how simple it is to change it, but it's also so overwhelming at times. There's sometimes so many feelings going on at the same time and not always all of them are mine. Like today my roommate was talking on the phone and she was crying and I felt so sad, I was about to cry too, then she was having an argument with a friend of her and I felt so uneasy with all the conflict, but in a really extreme way. I actually had to go down because it was just too much, especially adding all that, to my own things, but I guess I just need to learn how to deal with it
It seems to me that you're a very empathetic person, which is both a curse and a blessing. When you connect with people I'm assuming you really get inside their head and feel their feelings?
Yeah, sometimes it's hard separating my own thoughts/feelings from the ones of others. Im so easily influenced by the people around me, but it's not what they say or do, is just their energy. I dont know really how to explain it, but sometimes I feel like there is no me and I'm just an extension of everything/everyone else. I'm not sure if that's good, in some ways yeah, but can be really bad too.
Its an ability to see the truth of people... to understand them as an individual in that moment. You can probably also tell when someone has the same ability, its a certain glint in the eye.. to put it in simple terms. Frankly its best to just avoid stressful situations, crowds/unfamiliar parties/funerals/etc. But when presented those situations, remember nobody knows whats going on inside you, although you may feel an attachment to them. That attachment must be seen solely for what it is. Don't delve too deep, its a pit that only goes deeper. Control and focus - try to focus on what your doing, not who's around you.. simply be aware of their presence. It will come with time. Their emotions are theirs, yours are yours... choose when to share. And most importantly - recognize yourself as an individual... define who you are yourself. You'll never be satisfied if you define yourself by the views of others.
i like to call those overwhelming feelings of whatever it may be sensory overload... i am extremely empathic when it comes to people and feel entirely too much at times,, and then i cant seem to stop the feeling,,, the more i feel ...the more i feel,,, the seperation of self is important to close your mind and body off to the energies of those around you at any given moment, figuring out how to feel but yet not feel too much is a hard but necessary thing at this point , best advice i can give to you is what i use when i cant seem to figger out why my emotions and mind is whacking out over something that i cant pinpoint,,,, visualize a light socket and plug in and simply unplug it in your mind, break the energy flow that is there so there is no connectivity to the sources. It sounds simple and altogether way to easy, but it is something i have to use pretty much daily in order to get thru life and not be a complete basket case.... rivers are something that completely settle my entire being as well .. i can sit by a river and just watch parts n pieces float away swiftly at times n at other times getting tangled in the trash n junk before wiggling free to continue on down and flow freely again,,,
Another thing that may help you is to choose who you are around. Learn to talk to them and influence their emotions, so you will feel better. Unknowningly, I have learned to influence those around me very greatly and nearly every time I have a conversation with a person I like, they walk away with a smile on their face. Even if I'm feeling down, if I see someone else smiling, it usually makes me smile as well and vice versa. Sense of humor is vital to this though. I believe everyone has a great sense of humour inside themselves, but many chose to hide it in order to convey a certain 'image'. As far as I'm concerned it is not only bad for you, but anyone with a sense of humour instantly conveys a great image to others. The people with a unique style of humour are always the most unique (well, most of the time). Just take your unique qualities and put them on display, like antlers on a deer or feathers on a bird. If people don't appreciate you for your qualities, then you have no need to talk to them. Walk with an unbreakable calm, and an unbreakable laugh. If you can't seem to get someone out of a bad mood, then they are being childish, so put them in a time out. Go and be with people who will laugh with you. -the flying medicine man
Thanks guys! Did anyone else have a fantastic day today? It seems every day this week just gets better than the last, and everyone I've talked lately pretty much agrees. Everything is building to Saturday I think as the pieces of the puzzle assemble themselves in a distant plane
I feel that way too. When I feel I feel from the outside in. I feel like everything is a part of me and I can just soak it all in. But then people don't get the misery that also exists, and it makes it worse.
