Hey sorry if this is too long...i have an extremely attractive girlfriend and am very excited about sex with her..but everytime we come around too it i loose my erection, and she ends up getting pissed off at me.its really embarrassing for me and i have to keep making up excuses like i forgot the condom lol. i have no erectile problems at all infact during foreplay im hard as hell.lol.i also masturbate once in a while ( like once a week) im trying to cut that out though. but i was reading the forum and seen a guy with a similar problem and you guys said he was very nervous. i believe my prblem is the exact same but i dont really kno how to get over this nervousness, are there any suggested excersises or ways to get me relaxed for sex?? i really dont want to "grow it out" i feel im running out of time and excuses and i really dont want to loose this girl . please help me i would grately appreciate it..sorry for some spelling errors if there were any
It's all mental. You like her too much and are worried about pleasing her in bed. During sex the first time, you have to imagine she's a dirty $2 whore who you don't care about. In your mind, she should be a worthless cumdumpster who you're going to use. After you knock one out and get it over with, the nerves will go away.
The lone wolf has made another great post. I agree with him. It sounds like you know you're too nervous. Just keep telling yourself "I don't care what she thinks" and laugh a little if you mess up or get awkward. That's right.. laugh at yourself. Don't be self conscious, because if you are, she'll notice and be aware of the fact that you're really nervous. You're so worried about doing something wrong that you're doing something wrong: being nervous. You don't have to worry about that if you've never had sex with her. I've heard that women stay tight for years. It's just the porn stars that loosen up.
sorry i didnt mean Loose^ as in loose pussy lol i ment lose ! lol and thanks for the advice hip and lone wolf, but do any of u guys know of any actualy nerv excersises to get me to relax my mind ? or i should just shut up and stop worrying
Athletes use visualization to help them perform in their sports. You could try laying down, getting relaxed, and breathing fully to where your belly expands with air (but don't hyperventilate lol!). Then, run through the beginning of sex with your girl. Imagine making out, foreplay - everything - as vividly and detailed as you can, like you are there. Imagine everything going right. You are feeling good, your dick is hard as a rock, and she's turned on. Don't allow any worries or negative thoughts to creep in. Just "see" yourself executing perfectly, and see both of you having a great time together.
I think you should stop worrying, but don't shut up. It's good that you posted about this stuff. The thread is helping me as well as many others, I'm sure. One exercise you could try is thinking about something complicated and boring before having sex. Also, this may sound a little ridiculous, but just discussing the problem with your girlfriend will definitely help things. It doesn't have to be anything complicated either. THe next time you're about to have sex, just say something like: "I need to tell you about a problem i've been having. I want our first sex to be perfect, but you're so beautiful and wonderful that I'm afraid I'll mess something up. Every time we fool around, I get nervous and overwhelmed. I hope you can understand that I want to get past my nervousness and please you the way you deserve to be pleased." If I were you, I'd try talking to her about it. After all, if you two care about each other, why keep this shit a secret? Good luck brutha' ~A
SkateP - here is waht you do - 1. Start with a private, romantic place to have sex. 2. Go slow - undress each other, do a lot of foreplay, and have her put the condom on your penis (at 18 your should be wearing one). 3. Start with the basic missionary position, with a pillow under her butt. If you have problems with premature ejaculation, check out my 10 techniques in this forum to prevent premature ejaculation. PM me if you want more advice.
Cutted takes the hi road, I'm happier with the low down. She's pissed at you? She complains? That ain't the kind of woman you're s'posed to be making love to. My first real love had me so nervous when she suggested it, I said, "what if I can't?" She said, "I'm the most patient gal in the world!" At first I was so excited I came before we even got fully unclothed. Then she coaxed me along to a new erection. Then as I was fumbling around with a condom, it slumped. I started to feel like crying - I may have gotten red eyed. She chased me around her bedroom naked, and somehow managed to fart - loud! We laughed hysterically, fell on top of each other, upside down. She said, "this looks like fun." and began to nibble while I explored the varied tastes presented by her wet pussy. Then all of a sudden we both thought of it at the same time, she guided me in, and all was well. She didn't complain or get pissed. But I was honest with her. Let her know you've got issues with your cock hardness. Don't try to hide it. If you forgot the condom she can jerk you, you can go down on her. It's all good, dude! ALL of it. You work these things out together or Not At All. BTW, I was 17 and she was 15. Now go see her and talk.
Fastswitch, I agree with you completely. The fact that she is not understanding could be the cause of a lot of this nervousness. After all, when you fear someone will ridicule or tease or harass you, you're bound to be nervous. Sounds like you had a pretty good first experience... you lucky. Threadstarter, how'd it go?
Hey I just posted something with the same problem. My current resolution in test is to completely stop masturbating or looking at any porn if you do. That way when she's naked or when you feel her body you will get turned on way more. Also try sleeping better and exercise before or something, I always get way horny after working out.
