Death, life, death, life.... life?????

Very difficult to explain some things, just roll with it!

All this is on a 5-10 min timeline, I can't remember exactly but I recall checking the clock after "returning" and it had been about 15 mins.

I had already chewed some leaves for approx 30 mins and felt the effects - chewing is pretty awesome, very "mystical".

I had the mood goin good, nice and dark, VERY quiet music (trance), and no sharp objects

I had worked my way up to this... chewing more, smoking more... today was my day to break through, everything else was a 30 second "buzz".... I was mentally and emotionally prepared for everything I could have percieved to get thrown at me... haha yea right!

10x in a bong, torch lighter, cleared the bowl. I was sitting upright on my bed.

Hold for, eh, 15-20 seconds, I felt it "building" as I was holding it in... as I exhale my arm travels away with the smoke - bong in my left hand - and I am blasted into darkness. The music turned into a deafening loop... like a pipe organ playing waaa WAAA waaa WAAA waaa WAAA at a medium/high pitch... it lasted the duration of the trip. No the song wasn't actually doing that, or anything close to it.

I didn't black out, at least I remember something being in that time, but I have no idea what. Time was gone, completely and absolutely abolished, I was gone, I had no recollection of humanity, I just knew I existed... I was exactly what I was.

Senses were replaced with feeling.... and not feeling like you get when someone touches you, feeling like emotions, except the emotion was the information......

I was given a choice to exist as anything, I chose something, lived a "lifetime"... it was literally a blink of an eye and an eternity, I dont know what I was, I have no idea what happened....

I came back to the darkness, and there was a male "being" next to a spinning wheel of existences... no not human, or anything that could exist, but it was male.. it felt like I was the one spinning the wheel, while at the same time being the one standing back and choosing.

I could choose from anything, it really wasnt a wheel, it was more of a never ending movie reel. There were images, I don't recall them... but I recognized them clearly as different forms of existence.

I saw something on the wheel and chose it.... existed as whatever I had chosen (i wrote this down but I can't find it)... and in my happy existence I realized I was "supposed" to be something else. I caught a glimpse of something, I'm not sure what... its like I was looking at my room from an impossible angle, inside my desk... not looking, but aware of its existance... but only for a moment. I recall seeing myself, but having no clue what I was... the room basically melted together and I only got a glimpse.

I realized I "was" something else, but I had no idea what it was. My ego had caught up with me.

Thats when I "knew" I was stuck right there... having no idea where to go... fear, immense, and the most intense emotion I've ever experienced... incomparable to any emotion or anything I have ever felt, x10.

Somewhere in between had a vision of a woman standing in my open doorway - the doorway being just an outline of light surrounded by colorful blackness... she looked at me, recognized me, I recognized her (no i dont "know" who she was), I got a feeling of dissaproval/dissatisfaction from her... I walked to the door to see where she had gone/to close the door. I dont "think" I actually got up, and the door was closed and locked.

Ok... what do humans do.... I must find out.... WHAT CAN I DO TO GET BACK TO REALITY!!!!! Fear, panic... wow that was intense....

they drink water!!!!!! I love water!!!

In that instance I saw a bottle of water pouring - imagine watching a bottle of water pouring infinitely into complete blackness on TV... now imagine you are the TV... thats what I was seeing... I "felt" the water going down, it felt like I drank water.... I have no idea if I did or not.

I think at that point I had begun to come back to reality, and was able to see again, it didn't pop right back, it was kinda like everything was soft, and being blown around. I was unsure if this was reality, i didn't know what reality was.

I "woke up" laying over the side of my bed with the bong neatly placed on the floor at the right side of my bed, about 2 feet away... and my bottle of water exactly where I had left it.

When I remembered how to move, well not remember... it was more like, discovering how to move again... at that point I knocked the bong over, spent a few minutes going "omg".... "omg"..... "omg".... walked around to make sure I was actually "here".... and at this point it feels like there is nothing else to the world but my room. The world itself felt as if it would be pulled from under my feet at any moment.

I got a "grip" on the world ~ 15 mins from the beginning of the trip. In our time, 15 mins... in salvia/death/other conscious that was a lifetime, or 2. Really time had no bearing, I didn't know if I was trippin for 5 seconds or 5 years...

I now believe that is what death is like, and when I finally "came back" it felt like I was "born".

A powerful life changing experience...

 

Another experience, albeit not nearly as powerful, was about 2 months after I had the first break through... I had since not touched salvia.

This time I smoked some herb first, a few hitters worth. I was feelin pretty good, and I decided to go ahead and try salvia again, carefully. I had read marijuana can make the experience easier to handle, and I felt "defeated" by my previous encounter.

I packed the hitter very lightly, used a bic lighter, and puffed away. I got nothing out of the 1st, so I packed another and puffed away... this time fully packed and a full hit.

Not quite so instantly this time.... the ground changed. I got that now "familiar" tone in my ears, and I was on a giant rock pedastal, among giant rock pedastals (EXACTLY like that scene in the golden child/eddie murphy). My chair was exactly what it was, I was me, and the garage floor under me was exactly what it always was, but I was surrounded by endlessly tall concrete pedestals.

I was there for a while, I had enough time to "look around"... I dont think I actually turned my head, but I could see everything, this would perhaps be hell to someone scared of heights!!!! I was more prepared this time and basically just rode it...

But salvia had a surprise...

I suppose the weed made it roll in MUCH slower, it had been a few mins and I wasn't trippin THAT hard, but at that point I felt that "pull"... but while I was being pulled away from reality I was given a choice to come back, I took it. There was a female entity present, that was dissapointed, but agreed... again dont think some chick standin next to me, this was simply an existence that was "there". Little elves then grabbed me/my chair and flew me back down to my concrete pedestal, which turned right back into the garage floor, and that was the trip. I had the same "ok is this reality" thing as the first trip, but after literally touching the ground to make sure it was there.... I was satisfied. I at that time said I was satisfied with salvia, and saw no need to delve farther... havent smoked since.

Salvia is not to be toyed with...

 

Nice i have broke through alot so it was a trip to read your report. I know that feeling exactly what you're talking about "Ahhhh how do i get back into reality?? am i stuck here forever ahhhh??!!" And then when you start slipping back into your body, reality is kind of hard to believe, and it feels like a true miracle to be alive!