hi everyone! im new to this website. my name is Michael! and im 17 years old. I aspire to become a guitarist/vocalist, so most of what i put down are supposed to be songs that I have written. At least the lyrics for them . PLEASE COMMENT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! AMAP! i want to know if you hate it, if you love it, if you obsess over it, or if you think it is garbage. please be blunt, please dont be afraid, and as much constructive criticism as possible! Thank you! Peace. Love. Unity. Happiness.:jester: The Architect is raging inside me, And so is his unconditional love. Some take it to extremes, But I feel I know just enough. The bronzing green statue Had it all figured out. I will accept any huddled mass you bring, And commence to change lives, As they sway while I sing. You are the Titanic. Taking others down as you fall. I am the dark Atlantic. You may have lifeboats, But I own icy walls. Someone save our ship. I understand children. We all do. I was told all men are created equal. Dying males dishonor this truth. Warm your hands young man. This may be the coldest your mind can feel. I would wake you up if I could, But this is real. You are the Titanic. Taking others down as you fall. I am the dark Atlantic. You may have lifeboats, But I own icy walls. Can you see the lights? Coming from the west? We are surprised And impressed Our signals distressed - How could it be That the world would save energy Without this vest?
This cold air bites my hands, And turns them to sandpaper, and My eye is bothering me, So I think I'll pull out an eyelash. By now it's sunset, So I assume the east coast is dark, and Maybe when I blow my hands You'll be making a wish upon a star. I am waiting, And starting to stand alone. I feel my worth. Because lately I've expanded. These times are Kodak, And those times too. In the youth band I saw a savior, And he saved me From regret, and While he fiddled with his guitar, He found you to be blessed, and The tidal wave threw your parents overboard As mas amigos huddled, and cried, "Oh! My Lord!" "Where have you been my Lord?" "The goats have been neglected, And the wine is red." In your house we toast to living, And forget the dead. I brought some nails in the trunk. I'd be glad to share. If that would save the dead. If that would save the dead. If that would save the dead.
To anyone but us These words have no meaning. Don't try to hush them. Children never stop screaming. And in a dream I had I was just dreaming. These humans will destroy themselves. Keep on breeding. I believe in a God, but I don't know his name. And any who claim to Will be burnt at the stake. Don't commit blasphemy - For heaven's sake. We're all just waiting To be taken away But we are resilient. We will prevail. And all I am hearing is hollowed out tones. I am a hunter. You sound like a whale. Blubber for sale Will save me from being stoned. Don't be a beggar, For those deserve none. And porters and merchants Will rise from the slums. These trading harbors Will run red with blood. Cold hearterd killed And revolutionized with love. Non-believers Will perish with hate. Father tells followers They will pierce the gates. The one I believe Never clouded the sky. Silent protest fills The honest with pride. I will believe only in myself Until I die. I will scale the gates Of the place My father's still lie.
Seems like a good start to me. Do you have any rythm picked out for these yet? Keep writing, this is good stuff.
I do have rythms to most of these songs mapped out in my head. The hard part is turning mind into sound. and thank you
It would be awesome if these lines Could send shivers up your spine, And if they can Will you copy them and show me?! But seriously.
Welcome...... Try humming into a cassette recorder, and then use (piano, guitar, etc.) whatever instrument you have, and translate your rythm into music.
I have seen the wild children. They lack language and walk on all fours. We see soldiers dying for freedom, And know they were fighting for yours. In the beginning we bombarded their boats, And the banner held fast through the fire. Kill for tyranny and steal for the poor, But be careful of becoming a liar. Chorus: Speak your mind and don't be scared, For fear governs the weak. I've been spit on, beat up, and hated. Wise men were once not so meek. Some still say- They say that sinners won't make it to God. Technology- They say will make humans devolve. Parents pray- That they will die before their sons do. Impacting lives- Is an addiction we need to abuse. Chorus Sometimes don't you wish the world was colder Than absolute zero degrees? Only then could we cease all this movement And witness the world fall to it's knees.
