Christmas is cancelled, no presents for anyone. Living alone, a burning heart and an anguish that tears me apart. Tears swelling up in my eyes. Wandering about my flat looking for a place to curl up and die. Oh Christmas day, hurry up and pass. I cover my ears from all the merriness and laughs. Love don't live here anymore. My folks have abandoned me and left me to bleed eternal in tears for fears. I go back to bed, praying that Christmas day ends swiftly. But it lingers on and on and on eternity. Oh have mercy on me, for the laughter of children and the sound of wrapping paper being opened with sheer hearts of glee. A lump of coal in my stocking. Not even a card or a Christmas tree. The best thing I have, is a stinging nettle sheaf in the corner of my abode. I try to put decorations up, but it keeps stinging me. My electric has run out, I am in the dark. Darkness swamps my visual perception, I am the Prince of darkness. All the laughter, people trying out their presents in front of me. I smash a kids bike, watch him cry, I thank God that someone else is sadder than I. Christmas is cancelled, no Irish sherry, no Christmas music or mania around a christmas tree. No tv, not even a film to wet my whistle. Just water and a few mouldy mushrooms way back in the fridge. Woe woe woe. Don't cry for me, I am already dead. Robbed of Christmas by none other than the Grinch!
Christmas wont be spent with friends and family this year for me either I dont usually celebrate the festival as im not in any way christian, but it is nice to gather round with people you know who care and be with them while THEY cherish the meaning, which is what ive always done in the past This year someone has poisoned what little family i have left (2 people) against me, and all my old friends ive known since i was a tiny little girl and she wouldnt have even met if it werent for me. Shes told vicious lies very cleverly, for no apparent reason, other than she hates the idea of me marrying This probably doesnt make sense because im pretty gutted at the moment, but my point is Youre far from being alone And we can still have a great day, it doesnt have to be all crappiness. I know for sure im just soldiering on and by then theres no doubt my optimism will have won, it always does Keep your chin up J0hn, things are good Hope you have a splendid day
Thankyou. I have planned to have a roast Turkey with roast spuds and Christmas pudding. I may go to the local church for Carol service. But this time next year, I should be spending the first Christmas in 21 years with my mother. She says that there is a drink called Irish Sherry. Is there such a drink? My mother plans to get married so will inherit his family aswell. If all goes to plan next year, I have a lot to look forward to. I have turned my back on the grinches. Infact I am sort of glad that they don't wish to spend Christmas with me. Nothing worse than spending Christmas with a jar of pickles.
Youre welcome woohoo, im glad things should be looking up for you J0hn, although im not surprised. I bet lots of churches have lovely carol services. I wont go myself as i dont want to be hypocritical, but i can imagine theres a nice atmosphere. Have a yummy dinner arty: Im now going to spend the day with the inlaws and my fiancés family, and theyre good people and theyre just doing something quiet which should be lovely. Scotts mums even asked us what kind of special vegan foods she should get in to prepare, shes very thoughtful Anyway, keep looking forward I have a good feeling about next year, far s personal stuff goes anyway. Obviously the place is in turmoil but hey, we do all we can
Christmas is pretty boring at mine, although it may be the last year that I am able to go home - might have to work next Christmas! I am trying to make christmas more "me friendly" by going to a few carol services at church, although my family are not religious so I won't be able to get a Christmas day service. To be honest if i was away from home, I wouldn't mind too much, i mean I would be very lonely but I would make myself to something - ooh I might volunteer, must get searching for things to do! But I would have to go to church, that's what makes christmas special to me!
glad to hear you got the grinches put in their place, j0hn. i know it can be rough being alone at christmas time. we'll do this year what we have done the past few years. go over for a nice meal, prezzies, and to watch a movie and spend the day over at Sonny's parents. it will be quiet, but should be enjoyable. i like a nice quiet Christmas personally. oh, and i'll probably get a call at some point in the day from my family back home.
being alone at christmas will be a first. For the past 25 years, I have spent christmas with people I know and genuinely love. From dancing around a christmas tree to running downstairs breaking a foot to get at the presents. To dancing with miniture santa's. This year, TV will keep me company. I will roast my own Turkey and bring in the bucks fizz. I will buy myself presents. Should atleast get some money from someone in a christmas card. Reasons, My friend who I have known for so many years is going to Tenerife to tan her backside. I hope she gets sunburn on it too! A friend in Luton says he wants to spend Christmas with me in his home. But then he contradicts himself by saying he is spending Christmas with family in Dublin. He can't be in two places at once. Can he? Maybe I have to imagine he is standing there . Anyway, I plan to go to the church for a service. It is Christmas day on Sunday! I know churchgoers are usually nice folks. Perhaps there may be mince pies? Christmas decs will not be up. I mean I know it is christmas. I just have to look out my window. Twenty lights on my flat. Only one works. But other people have their houses lit up like Christmas trees. Good job we are not on the coast. The ships might mistake them as lighthouses. Just my luck. At Christmas. Now I know how Oliver Twist felt. i might get a carpet sample pad for Christmas or a Colgate Toothpaste empty box or maybe dog poop through my letter box. I document this Christmas to be lonesome.But Next year I am spending Christmas with my mum, Step dad and my mother's friends. She is intruducing me to Irish sherry. Whatever that is. I might pop in to see my mother on the 23rd. Will buy her a card and will get one for my step dad. I will even send those who neglected me this Christmas a card. Sometimes I am tempted to give them a piece of paper. On it written: bah humbug!
I'm off for Christmas Carols this Friday at chapel and there will be mince pies and mulled wine! Not a big fan of mince pies so think I will just head for the wine! My old vicar has invited me to his carol service on the Sunday so it will be a very christmassy weekend!
Atlast, I am going to be in good company. Even if I am three hundred miles away from London on the frontier of civilisation. Dancing krusty the clowns around my feet and chocolate bunnies munching at my arm and leg as other people stand around laughing. To be in company at Christmas is a good omen. even though it is pagan to celebrate Christmas. even god wanted me to have company. He flicked me out of bed, frogmarched me down to Tesco with my etop up card, and he granted me ten pounds on behalf of 02. So this is Christmas. Fortunately I have the ability to reach out to people in times of tribulation.
In my mid-twenties I had little affection for Christmas either. But then maybe that's most of us at that point. If your in your mid twenties and loving christmas that's when you want to worry.
aww ... i'm 30 and love xmas ... though i hate the music piped down my earholes all the time. but i love the thought of a season of giving. (even if i don't believe in all the religious stuff that goes with it).
Christmas in Luton was awful. It was like spending Christmas in some derelict, rundown neglected community. A profound depression hit me the moment I passed Harpenden. Then I realised that I had crossed the final frontier. When I got across, civilisation seemed a billion lightyears away.
