Look at most of the posts. It seems that people share a notion that they have to be doing something specific to "feel close to themselves". "If I could only be there, doing this, or with this special someone I'd be myself." You've got to wonder about a place that lets people feel dissociated everywhere except in an ideal in their mind. Sad.
Thats a good point...maybe I should have asked when do you feel most comfortable/ when they enjoy themselves the most.
Sex. Kickboxing. Exploring. None of these I've been doing much of for the past 2 weeks. Incidentally, I feel kinda full of self doubt a lot this week. I think theres a connection.
ahahaha. i should add "when i'm building a house for myself" and i'll have the whole heirarchy of needs thing. i guess when i'm most acting like an animal, that's when i feel most like myself.
when i'm having meaningful conversations with someone I love, when i'm home alone, when i'm in the mountains or in the woods
I don't ever really feel like anyone in particular. Sometimes I think I have a dissociative disorder of some sort. Right now I hurt so bad, but feel so little.
When I'm alone and that I'm not stressed. Also if it's the night or if I'm in the subway, makes me relaxed for some reason.
Whem I'm playing music with my friends (I play drums), when I get so lost and absorbed in the song that I forget what "I" even is or that I am a seperate entity.
I'm sending hugs your way. At your age, I had times like that. The thing is you feel numb because of the pain being too much to process. Just hang on tight through this storm and the sun WILL come out. I know that sounds totally cornball, but its true. Take Care!
Thank you. I'm taking steps right now to get away from all this bullshit. It's nice to know someone else has been there and cares. Thanks again.
When Im sitting right here! On this computer looking at something that interests me. Im in my comfort zone, dont have to change for anybody, in my little den away from the crazy world outside...Im totally me, sitting here in my boxers without a care in the world If the question was where am I most happy (which I think most people took it as), Id also have to say outdoors, but then Im not totally me as I have to follow some norms and rules some of which feel alien to me.
I never feel whole... I have in the past, rarely, but I haven't in over a year... closest it came to was one time I was layiing in the forest with rain falling on my face, and I felt so connected to nature I felt I was part of it, hence... whole and perfect... but I don't mind being just an half... or more... or less? of who I really am complete. I'll find my other half someday... or not! Oh well... very few of us a complete beings.
I feel whole on 2 occasions. 1) Relaxing with a blunt and/or a drink surrounded by the people I love. Having good conversation with good people. 2) When I'm out in the field socializing like crazy. Opening 3 groups every hour for about 4 hours and running it from begining to end. From initial opening to sex, I feel whole.