Would you be disappointed...

I've struggled with something for a few years now, and I've wondered how others would feel and/or deal with the same situation. Basically, when I announced to my husband and daughter, in 1988, that I could no longer eat meat, they both willingly--and I really mean that! I did NOT pressure them--came along with me for the ride. We were never completely vegan, although my daughter chose a vegan co-op to live in when she was away at college, but we were strict vegetarians (no gelatin, no animal ingredients in cosmetics, etc.).

We read and learned and experimented, and we could all whip up really enticing dishes. My daughter was even interviewed once for her high school paper, and she spoke eloquently about why it's wrong to kill animals, how much misery animal testing causes, and how vegetarianism is just so much better all around.

Well, fast forward to the present. My daughter is grown and gone (actually married and expecting her first baby), and my husband--although we're still very close--and I are divorced and living separately (with plans to remarry...probably...someday...).

Anyway, during the past few years both my daughter and husband have returned to eating, and using (as in shampoo, leather, etc.) dead animals--and this was REALLY hard for me to accept. I mean, what was all that talk about how animals are cruelly treated, how vegetarianism is better for the environment, blah blah blah? I feel like they both betrayed me. But therein lies the problem: As I said, I NEVER forced or coerced either of them to become veggie--they did that of their own free will, as a result of facts I had learned about the meat trade, the cosmetic industry, etc. So what the hell happened? I feel so torn because I generally accept other people's likes/dislikes, but in their case...I feel betrayed.

 

Expectation is the root of all misery.

Each has free will, and has exercised that right.

Your free will has not been compromised, and if you are comfortable as a vegetarian, stay one. Love will not be dimished because of eating habits.

Will it?



x

 

Love? No, that won't change. But the feeling of, "How COULD they go back to eating/using animals when they KNOW about the horrors of the meat trade?" just isn't going away. If they were ignorant about these topics, that would be one thing, but considering they were once as informed--and appalled--as I was about factory farming, slaughterhouse torture, animal testing, etc., I guess I just don't understand how they could go back.

 

I understand it must be hard for you to have such strong beliefs (which is why mine tend to be pretty weak =P) on the issue and for your family to not

but you have to understand, they do have their own free will, their own free minds, their own priorities, their own cares

they do not pick these necessarily, and they certainly don't mean for you to take offense to their choices
I'm sure they don't want you to feel disappointed in them any less than you do
you simply have to accept that it is their own personal choice, and it doesn't mean that they are any lesser of people

 

This is just your ego responding to personal desire. The higher self would say "go your way in peace". There is no need to pass judgement upon them.

Everybody has their own path. We have been compared to logs in a river, which bump together for a while and enjoy the ride down stream. Sometimes, these same currents which keep us together shift and we drift apart yet again.

Those who roll with the changes are less likely to be rolled over by them.


x

 

I understand your disappointment. However, I was YOU that first made the decision to stop eating meat. The reason I mention this is because I think that you are the one that was most passionate about the decision in the first place. When I became vegetarian I've had a few friends who "tried" it , but quickly reverted back to their old ways.

 

You're absolutely right--it WAS me. I had become more and more involved in animal rights, and between that and what I learned about "dog labs" in medical school, I actually changed career paths. So it was a VERY big deal in *my* life. I knew at the time that had I not become veggie, neither my husband nor my daughter would have. But since they willingly and without coercion made the decision to join me--and then THEY became passionate about the issues, too--I guess I let myself believe that it was as important to them as it was to me.

For me, I can't even IMAGINE eating a steak or fried chicken or lamb chops...it would literally make me ill. uke: The idea of eating flesh is repulsive to me...and I guess it makes me sad (or something) that they no longer react that way.

 

Have you asked them their reasons for the change?