can meditation solve all problems?

not just meditation i guess, but a life of mindfulness. can it make everything right?
i have been meditating for a few months regularly now, and i really thought for a bit there that it was my answer, but now i don't know.
is it possible that one might not be able to sort everything out through this spiritual path? or is it possible that one might need something like therapy? are some problems too much for meditation to sort out?
it's just that i'm feeling so discouraged right now. i can not get close to people, and it is killing me. i mean there is really something wrong with me. i've never wanted to be a social butterfly who just talks shit with everybody, i just want to be able to talk to people. to have some sort of human connection. i am scared around everyone. it is hard for me to go to work every morning because i am so nervous. how to fix this is what occupies all my thoughts, every day, except for when i have moments of peace. and i do have those moments, but it always comes back to this.
my question is, do you think that if i keep on this spiritual path of meditation and mindfulness, that i can overcome this? or do you think it might be a good idea to look into therapy?
i am reading a book on buddhism right now and in it the author says, "There is nothing in Buddhism that is incompatible with psychotherapy. We have to remember not to use meditation as a spiritual bypass, to avoid our psychological and daily life issues."
Does this mean there are psychological issues which meditation can not help to overcome? obviously there are some, but what about something like mine?
i feel desparate and alone right now. i'd really appreciate any advice. thanks.

 

As the old yogis would tell you, you must be like a duck which lives in the water but never gets wet.

Let the world swirl around you. Watch it. Pick out what you like (and if it isn't good for you, you'll know soon enough), and let it continue.

As for friends, they'll come. You're going to have many over the course of your life. You'll enjoy some good times with them and then they'll vanish into the past.

Meditation will do you no harm, but maybe you need to get out more? Find people. Most will enter your life by chance. Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

Life, is the ultimate meditation. And it is other people who will tell you who you are and where you are within it.




x

 

You want an honest answer? Meditation will not change your basic character. If you think you have issues and that's why you are not living up to your dreams then truth is, there is some fear and that fear is driving you, so you need to work with it. On the level of it, to scare away that bogeyman. Or to see that it is not really there.

Society today is really hard. I mean, it was hard when I was a kid 25 plus years ago. I grew up with a huge bully with the last name 'Kruel,' I am not joking. Fact is, I was never scared of bullys and I would therefore always get my ass kicked. How noble. But yet, I never took steps to pump up and get better at standing up. So I still get my ass kicked in life many many years later, by bullies. It's a character thing. I don't consider it a flaw however because I am basically non-violent. Yesterday's wimps are tomorrow's bullies. And so on.

If you just held onto your shyness, instead of trampling it, then someday it will bloom into a special flower for someone perfect. I said it before, being a social butterfly is not as pretty and perfect as it seems. I always was very social, the class clown, they used to call me smiley. I hated every minute of it. I always felt totally isolated.

Listen, all you have to do to come out of your shell is just blab whatever you think or feel at anyone. That's it, it's really simple. Most people are also so shy that they may very well just enjoy you opening up. Really. Everyone's tough exterior hides some extraordinary shyness.

Mindfulness really implies 'not touching.' That is to say, not remedying, not playing around with, not free associating, not anything, just sensing and letting go. That's it.

Inside you have the most powerful tool for resolution of difficulties, and it has its own natural timing and wisdom, physically it is called DNA, and mentally it's called consciousness. Within that mental - physical abstraction is the base for you and all that you are. Maybe your shyness keeps you from otherwise negative happenings. It can preserve your life.

So be still.

 

I just took a bath in some essential oils called Henoki and Ginger, and I thought, boy was that uplifting. Maybe the best thing I have smelled in - as long as I can remember - and I had the thought that maybe you could try some really unique perfume, something that would draw people to you. You know, attack your problem from a different angle. If you have a hard time initiating conversations and getting to know others, you can always use mystery, skill, or some good scent to draw others to you. To make them engage you. Okay, best of luck.

 

Yes, it will help you a lot. It will give you confidence to be in any situation and to be perfectly at ease. I was somewhat like you, but after meditation I can now be anywhere and be perfectly at ease without fear. Granted, there are times when you get a little nervous, but that passes as you just dive right in and conquer the fear. Meditation will help you become detached from your fear and to rise above it.

As for meditaton solving all problems, no it cannot. But you're problem can be solved by meditation.

 

thanks very much to all of you. i know my questions can be a bit much sometimes, and its very kind of you to take the time to answer them. it's nice to have a place like this where i feel understood.

I think that maybe i am trying too hard to put my happiness in other people's hands. i mean that i have felt that my happiness depends upon my relationships with others, and that's why i'm so obsessive about getting it right. but i think i'm starting to see that my happiness can only come from inside me. or at least, that's the only place it can start. and from that, everything else will follow. ?

 

Well actually if you get down to it, happiness gets transcended when you advance in meditation. you no longer feel happy, but rather content.

 

Meditation/full mindedness cannot SOLVE any problems. It can, however, help you to see that those problems are merely a temporary illusion that exists around you at that moment.

 

Here's two more for you dude:

During a momentous battle, a Japanese general decided to attack even though his army was greatly outnumbered. He was confident they would win, but his men were filled with doubt. On the way to battle, they stopped at a religious shrine. After praying with the men, the general took out a coin and said, "I shall now toss this coin. If it is heads, we shall win. If tails, we shall lose. Destiny will now reveal itself." He threw the coin into the air and all watched intently as it landed. It was heads! The soldiers were so overjoyed and filled with confidence that they vigorously attacked the enemy and were victorious. After the battle, a lieutenant remarked to the general, "No one can change destiny."

"Quite right," the general replied as he showed the lieutenant the coin, which had heads on both sides.

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A young and rather boastful champion challenged a Zen master who was renowned for his skill as an archer. The young man demonstrated remarkable technical proficiency when he hit a distant bull's eye on his first try, and then split that arrow with his second shot. "There," he said to the old man, "see if you can match that!" Undisturbed, the master did not draw his bow, but rather motioned for the young archer to follow him up the mountain. Curious about the old fellow's intentions, the champion followed him high into the mountain until they reached a deep chasm spanned by a rather flimsy and shaky log. Calmly stepping out onto the middle of the unsteady and certainly perilous bridge, the old master picked a far away tree as a target, drew his bow, and fired a clean, direct hit. "Now it is your turn," he said as he gracefully stepped back onto the safe ground. Staring with terror into the seemingly bottomless and beckoning abyss, the young man could not force himself to step out onto the log, no less shoot at a target. "You have much skill with your bow," the master said, sensing his challenger's predicament, "but you have little skill with the mind that lets loose the shot."

 

Your practice of mindfulness should include being aware of your fears, your states of mind, your inner confusions and spiritual shackles.
Then, in the safety of the seat of meditation, try to address these hangups. Look deeply at them, seek out their origin, their roots. Understanding the roots and nature of your fears is a HUGE step towards overcoming them.
Finally, when you're in the proving grounds of the world outside, push yourself, gently, but firmly, to do the things that scare you.


I was always terrified to dance, even in the dark, all alone. One day, my spiritual teacher made me join the group in a dance and I froze up. But with this rpactice, when I finally pushed myself and did a few hesitant steps, it was freeing. I am no Fred Astaire, but I was able to voercome the fear of dancing.

 

thank you, i think that's good advice. but does examining my fears while meditating defeat the purpose of meditation? i mean since i will be thinking about that. or is it kind of like that will be my only thought in an otherwise empty mind?

 

How can a full cup be empty? Take time for examining fears and time for meditating, and never the twain shall meet. Otherwise it's not called meditating it's called obsessing.

 

actually that question wasn't really what i meant to ask, nevermind. i do have a question though-i think i already know where my fear comes from, i mean it comes from my parents. they behaved this way and because of that, so do i. perhaps that's too simplistic of an answer?

 

floydianslip-i have a question for you and it won't let me do private messages anymore, so i guess i'll just ask it here.

in a post that you sent me a while back, you said that in order for me to put down the box i was carrying i did not have to know why you wanted me to carry it or what was in it, i just had to put it down. in other words, in order for me to end this, all i had to do was end it-let it go, not figure out how to do it or why it was afflicting me in the first place. what Bhaskar says has me thinking back on this. he/she is saying that in order to make peace with myself it is important to know the roots of this. what do you think?

 

My, this is interesting. I love it when doctors disagree

Meditation in it's highest form is a being, not a doing - a noun, not a verb. It is being at one with the divine essence at all times and in all states of activity.

In order to reach that state, the doing meditation, the verb, is needed. Until we undo the knots of the heart, the inner bonds that tie us to this lower state of consciousness, we will neevr be able to touch the higher meditative state, the noun meditation.

In the verb, meditation, you have to undo your personality. All the fears, the desires, the anxieties, the likes, the dislikes... everything that has gone in to make you the limited entity you are has to come unravelled. That IS the purpose of meditation practice.

Until you do this, you CANNOT empty your mind for any significant period of time. Even if you do, the moment you allow thought to return, the same problems will return to haunt you.

If the peace of meditation is only experienced in that half an hour you sit down in the morning, then it is of little use. The benefit of meditation should be apparent in your whole life.

Practice of meditation is not to feel good and comfy. It is to face yourself, naked, with all the disfigurements and flaws within you. It is to then heal yourself, slowly. It is to understand the make up of your personality that sparks your reactions to things - positive and negative.


It is easy to say put down the box without looking into it. But if that was all we had to do, enlightenment would be the simplest thing in the world. It is a rare few who can put down the box. Very rare.

You see, deep down, you love that box. Just as I love mine. It has always been with you. At some level we are attached to ou fears and ur miseries. They are a crutch to us, a drug, a security blanket. That is why we cannot et go of them until we truly examine them and see them for what they are.

 

Bhaskar is completely and totally right with everything above. Specifically this:

HOWEVER, LightPeace, we're not talking about you reaching enlightenment or nirvana just yet. Baby steps. For you to acheive complete awareness and englightenment you definitely do need to look into that box.

To drop irrational fears and complexes however, is something else. One does not need to be enlightened or in a higher state of awareness to let go of those earthly worries that plague us. They can, and that is certainly one way to remove them.

But just as easily you can walk away from all that. You will not be walking into enlightenment, but you will be walking away from these fears that plague you.

Carry a large box around, all the while trying to peak inside. You're perception is incorrect, and difficult. Put the box down first. Now you are truly free to explore every inch of it. I never meant don't look inside, rather, don't look inside while still carying it around. Which could be interpreted several ways, but essentially it is relavent here.... a cup is not empty if it is already filled.

 

That makes sense Floyd. However, I am of the persuation that every fear/complex must be removed from the root. Just letting go is one way, facing them is another. Different strokes for different folks.

I would suggest doing exactly what you fear. Afraid? Be afraid. But do it anyway. See what happens.

 

Well in this particular case we're not talking about a concrete fear. Which is where my original advice came from. In the case of a concrete fear I absolutely agree with you.

 

With nebulous things like that, I find it helps to name it, ruthlessly. Ask yourself what you are afraid of. Define it and it immediately becomes smaller.

 

^ yepz.