as i gaze at skies of predictable iron, solid and firm, bland and tame, and sub-consciously absorb the patterns of tedious stars, i wonder if you too stare upon black nights from your window-seat, and cry onto the flaky sill, paint peeling off and turning your hands a chalky white. i remember from my hiding place in the fur of wet dog the pink glorious dawn that you rose from fantasies Together, We waved a flag of beautiful greeny blue across the canvas decorating with dreams of white, golden daggers of lightening and joyous yells of thunder a turbulent sea of mist and tornados and blackholes that lurked just out of vision, and every day We explored the heavens, sometimes dropping just above hell in Our greedy pursuit for perfection We danced in red fog to the beat of a crazy samba band, and lay in Each Others arms in clear lilac skies, every emotion, positive or no, binded Us Together, in velvet robes and shrouds of black silk, We moved Together as One. now we move in different directions, a look over the shoulder no longer holding the power Love a bass line to low to be heard and resuscitated by unlistening broken hearts in the suffocation of a fresh stale future rocketed tunnel of multi-colour grey room trapped love One Empty Void reaching out on either side Strong Black Arms of Liquid love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love Ebony Thrusting us further Apart Driving us to the ends of the earth love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love Forcing us towards Ticking Bombs of Insanity Hating in cold rooms of love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love Lawyers with Stern Faces carved from Cardboard souls Sliced and love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love Shared Dumped on the pile of Money i don’t want Whispers in Black and love love love Yellow Coats Buzzing Whirring Screaming Clumps of Hair Puddles of love Blood Fallen Stars, on Concrete, outside the Box of Paper and Hammers.
Thanks, that's very kind of you! I tried to imagine myself in the situation of going through a painful and complicated divorce, I'm glad if it came across okay. I was a little worried at first that no-one would really understand the symbolism of the capital letters and repeated "love"s.
Well, it seems you did a good job of imagining, I think it came across very OK. I really like your style. I prefer free style poetry that doesn't rhyme. Rhyming is OK, and a lot of very good and classical poetry is the rhyming style. But I believe that rhyming is a formula. And in most cases, I feel formulas limit creativity in one way or another. True, creating within a formula can be fun and challenging -- similar to playing a game with rules. And obviously many readers, and writers, prefer it. But, I also feel it increases conformity. And to some degree restricts freedom of expression. And what I like so much about what you have done here, is your freedom of expression. Like your capitalized letters, and repeated loves. Be free and keep writing. And, I have to say this again. I am often awe struck by the quality, and creativity of many of the younger people on these forums. It makes me feel that there is some true hope for the future. And this one of those cases.
Thank-you! To get such great comments is really encouraging and motivating. Now to write about something happy...
