Sex is unpleasant for me

As a general rule, no one should diagnose themselves using the Internet, and it's not worth going around thinking you have a condition when you don't even know.

I don't really get much feeling during intercourse either... well, not at first. And I totally hear you about your mind wandering. I've actually heard that your own attitudes toward sex CAN have an impact on how it feels. If you have issues with sex (even ones you're not completely conscious of), then that will have an impact. And you did mention that you asked yourself why you were doing it... that could be part of the problem. Your body definitely
responds to your attitudes on what you're doing.

It sounds to me like you can't relax and you're not in the moment. Maybe you don't really care about the people you're sleeping with or they're not showing you the right kinds or amounts of affection? I don't mean that in a harsh way, because I've slept with people I don't care about and it makes a difference.

 

Well you still can't have good sex :lol:

 

That's helpfull.

 

not everyone can afford to make the rounds of expensive doctors getting no answers. we have to take responsibility for our own health. saying you shouldn't look for information on the internet that can help you figure out what your problem is and what treatments are available for it is like saying you shouldn't go to the library and do research. no, you shouldn't go believe the first thing you read and go no further with it....of course. but no one cares as much about your problem as you do, and burying your head in the sand doesn't help much either.

 

"my body is not built to have penetration and ORAL SEX ALL THE TIME"That's not right and it doesn't even make sense..Some professionals can't keep their own repressions out of the way when they diagnose.Jeeez.The girl needs help,not half -ass diagnoses,flavored with the gyn's hang-ups.-------I think as a man,I have contributed all I can to this,as I'm 'bout out of ideas and --well,Im a man.--------good luck sweetheart---------scratcho-------

 

Rasberry - some of the people responding to your posts in this thread are really sick. You have a problem which you chose to disclose here, and they attack and ridicule you. Not nice.

About 15-20% of women rarely or never have orgasms. You say you can regularly have orgasms, manually, but do not enjoy intercourse. There can be several reasons for this:

1. The wrong partner. Your prior partners may not have been skilled enough to bring out the passion in you - not a romantic atmosphere, or not enough foreplay, for example. Or you have a small vagina, and they were too big, or a large vagina, and they were too small.

2. Not enough lubrication for your vagina, which may be too dry. Lubricated condoms may be the answer, but don't use vaseline on them if they are latex - use a water-based lubricant if you need to get more lube on it. And don't try unprotected sex unless you are sure your partner is free of STDs, and that you have protected yourself from pregnancy.

3. Both sexes screw with their brains and not their sex organs, which are merely delivery and receiving stations. Try to relax prior to and during sex - what you may have is the same thing some guys have - "PERFORMANCE ANXIETY".

If you can, consult a sex surrogate to work through your anxieties about sex. They are skilled professionals who can talk with you in private and demonstrate ways to heighten your sexuality and enjoy sex more. Doctors, even gynecologists, may not have the skill to help you get into your mind and understand yourself.

I am a sex therapist, and not a surrogate, but PM me if you want to discuss your problem further out of eyeshot of people only interested in making you feel bad.

 

First of all, the Internet isn't designed to be like a doctor. Usually, if you read about a condition you will find all kinds of lists like: such and such a condition typically exhibits one, some or all of the following symptoms, and at least one of the symptoms listed is identical to everything from HIV to stomach flu.

I'm not saying anyone should bury their heads in the sand, but diagnosing yourself using the internet usually causes more worry than just paying a doctor.

 

Cutted--did you read all the posts here?And who is it that is really sick?I saw only concern,except for the 14 year old.

 

you're still making it sound like everyone has the option of paying doctors...and not everyone does. and paying doctors doesn't always solve your problems anyways. i've had to solve my own problems because the doctors i've gone to have not usually been helpful, and many of their 'solutions' are too draconian...like removing body parts when it's not necessary or desirable. to each their own.

 

One should NOT use internet for diagnosis, may one might know some useful nformation online that may help them take the medical decision in practice.

 

Others besides the 14 year old jerk were also judgmental in a cruel way.

 

Raspberry I don't like penetration either. I'd much prefer oral, giving or receiving. I've never had fantasies of penetration either. The whole thing is irrelevant to me. There's nothing wrong with you, the problem is truly with the people who try to make you feel less complete of a person because of your own makeup.

Don't stay too bummed though, because this system is always trying ways to do that to all of us. To rob of us our self worth and make us easier to control. We all get hit in that regard, and the big struggle is to each find our own ways to deal with that and persevere.

I think we also owe it to each other to help when someone's hurt, and not be too critical and abrasive when someone is feeling vulnerable.

or , which kind of reality do you want for yourselves? Well then give it to others.

 

lol Having a clitoral orgasm just comes natural to me. Doesn't take much effort at all. I've been having them since I was 6. It takes longer to orgasm with a vibrator though--but the payoff is great because they are much more intense.

I'm going to my local health department to see if I qualify for total coverage in health insurance. Maybe if I am approved I can get a more qualified physician to help treat my problem if possible.

A part of me feels very empty and incomplete because I don't get enjoyment from penetration. Sexual intercourse is something that is natural and very intimate and to not derive any pleasure from it is truly devastating): Because when I enter a relationship with someone I care about, I'd really like to get gratification out of it. That's how it should be. Who wants to have sex with a partner throughout a relationship if they don't feel any pleasure? This is not something that will be easy to accept for me. I'm just hoping that things will change, I don't want to be destined to experience this forever

 

You're right. And there aren't a lot of affordable health insurances for single people unless you are unemployed. And I'm not. The way things are looking, I'd have to get pregnant to even qualify for some good health insurance. They expect single people to work spend every single dime they have for health coverage.

Also, I do not know any places that go by a sliding scale. I went through the yellow pages and called some Family Planning Clinics and other doctor's offices and they have a set price and if you cannot pay it, too bad.

The only insurance I have covers only for birth control and a pap smear. If I have any other concerns then I have to pay out of pocket for lab testing, treatment, and prescriptions.

 

Rasberry the solution is to be very relaxed and turned on, and penetration from behind can better stimulate your G-spot, heroin could help you to chill and have good sex.

 

gotta be a troll.

 

^^^

Yup, I've encountered him before. Pay him no mind; perhaps he'll go away on his own accord.

Peace and love

 

oh well I'm still very depressed. I have no self esteem or confidence because of this. i don't even feel like a real woman. I hate my body and everything about it. I wish my vagina liked sex like most normal women

 

I don't get much pleasure through clitoral stimulation, but that doesn't mean anything is wrong w/ me as a woman. Just b/c you have sexual problems doesn't mean you are less of a woman. There may be a medical or psychological issue, but you shouldn't hate your body. That will only worsen whatever issue that you may have. If you are having serious depression problems, it may have a serious impact on your sexual pleasure, perhaps this might be an underlying issue. While depressed, I have never found any pleasure in any type of sexual activity.

Don't let this affect your self-esteem; it may perpetuate a lack of interest in sexual activities.

Peace and love

 

JUST READ THE POST.. I'VE BEEN LIKE THAT.. LATELY ITS GOTTEN TO BE BETTER, IT HELPED FOR ME WHEN I LEARNED WHAT I LIKE AND HOW TO BE PLEASED, BUT I STILL HAVE SOMEWHAT OF A PROBLEM, IT COULD BE A HORMONE PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU ARE YOUNG, I KNOW I HAVE HORMONE PROBLEMS