I'm a loser.

Yep. It's true.I sleep all day, pace in circles like a manic freak all night and write about things I have no business writing about and when people tell me to get a life I cry like a little girl or grab the nearest aersol can. I'm in handcuffs every other day, I've been in two seperate mental hospitals, if a guy asks me for naked pictures I hand them over, I live in the past so much that I have no future and I like it that way. I'll be dead before I'm 20, I make no sense and basically my life is one big joke. And I don't know what the fuck else to say.

 

what about school?

 

could be way worse, you could be like me :'(

 

Or me, Im fucked. Really I have problems lol, Im paranoid lol

 

you could only be 14 and be in rehab like me but ill get threw it and so well you. just hang tuff and your teens will be over befor you know it. lifes to short and precious to throw away befor your even out of high school. i promise you (i used to do the shit daily) put down the air duster and youll start feeling better after in about 2 weeks. my sis had a friend like you and he killed most of his brain cells, and all he dad the last year of his life was wish he had stopped when he still had a chance. he killed himself huffing paint. its not to late for u man, its never to late. just be tuff and talk to your best friends when ever you feel down. i promise theyll help you. really man i hope you feel better.

 

Yeah. It would be much easier if I had friends.

 

I wish I had some good advice, but all I can say is that life is for the living, dont give up, seek the treatment that you need, cause there is so much ahead of you

 

same here. i remember i was really mean to you at you first pot smoking stage, i wish to appologise. talking shit was alot easier then trying to understand what it was like to be in ur shoes at the time.

i get depressed alot, about many issues but mainly how alone in the world i feel, only thing motivating me to live on is the fact that i will grow up, and be able to look for a nice place to live throughout my travels in life, somewhere peacefull and emotionally cleansing and relaxing. most of my life i was thinking how when i become 18 i would get this and that and most of my life's dreams done. but the thng is, you need to take it slow, the longer you look and wait, the more you will appreciate when it does actually come. friends are eevrywhere, though most people i know i tend to not call that. true friends u can count with your fingers, the rest just people you know. this is one of the thngs you need to search for your whole life, and as i said take it slow, for in the end there might not be any point to live for anymore =)

 

It's totally cool. I not a fan of how I was a year ago either O.O Scaaaary shit.
I thought getting out there to "see the world" might ease my mind so I took a wild escapade to Philadelphia... that ended with me in the hospital, medically considered to have OD'd.
Hopefully someday I can get out there for real and actually do something.
Truthfully, music is the sole reason I hang on everyday. And knowing that there are people out there who want to hear it.
That helps.

 

well, no matter how shit life gets, theres always good. and when theres more bad then good it only blesses you with a gift to appreciate it more. life is beutifull, and while as a kid it seems u can do nothing, you will grow up.
watch yourself with the drugs, dont get caught up in it because you might just end up throwing your life away, theres a limit and balance to everything, and certain things shouldnt even be touched.

and yes music is a gift to all to enjoy, so what artists/bands u into then? =D

 

Well...
I'm an intense blues fan. I just dig all that deep down... my favorite is 20s blues, nothing beats it. Blind Lemon Jefferson and Blind Willie McTell are hottt damn!
But I like it all, each decade was unique. The 20s had the orgasmic delta and country stylings, the 30s was well, Robert Johnson, the 40s... great era, electric but still raw, the 50s were hmmm hmm okay, more of a shift into rock, even the 60s had some gems. Each era had something great and fresh and exciting. Anyway it's the kind of music that cuts me deep, I could think to it dream to it sleep to it get high to it listen to it all day long I play a little blues myself.

Ok rambled too much there.
But don't get me wrong I like all kinds of music. I love classic rock, folk, reggae, psychedelic rock, heavy metal and jam bands too so I've earned my hippyness hehe.

 

looks like you got a lot of knowledge about music
that's really good, cause i find i get along well with people who understand music i do.


but anyway about your original post..
i felt the same way you did when i was 16. everyone hated me, nobody payed any attention to me, i would be better off dead and da-da-da. but i got rid of everything negative in my life and sort of started over once i went off to college and i am fine now. i made new friends and i have a great relationship with my family now and i feel a whole lot better about life.

just think this.. everything is okay in the end, if it's not okay then it's not the end
hope ya feel better!

 

Just don't give up man! That's all I'm saying, I've been into depression before so I know how you feel.

 

I've kinda felt that way before, I haven't been to a hospital recently but I did go for a month in elementary school for attempt suicides and manic behavior. My line of thinking still bothers me today at times (i think i'm a little abnormal, kinda paranoid but not overtly, and i dont feel very involved with my life - like im detatched and constantly spaced out in my own world. I'm a pretty passive person, very idle.) And I feel the same way, music is what keeps me going. Im teaching my self drums - practice everyday, I really enjoy it. I hope you find something/someone to hang onto to make this life worth living. You're not alone.

 

Yeah, I dig psychedelic music, reggae, some blues, but I think my love is jazz, esp free jazz and bepop (some swing too).

 

Wow that really sucks, im sorry to hear about that. Ive sort of been through the same stuff as you but then i realized what i was doing and decided i need to change. Then i met some people and my life went right back to the way it was but now i have someone who loves me so much and i love them to. They changed my life and i couldnt be happier. Dont worry things will get better. Your still young. Goodluck. I hope your life gets better.

 

Why does it matter if people like you or not? When your alone your in the best company of your life. Remember that. On a side note, everyone goes through shit....I hate doing work and school and Ive been depressed throughout my life, gone to rehab, jail the whole 9 yards. The only reason I grew is because I knew I HAD to. Stand up for yourself and know your better and if people look down on you and say get a life...just say im perfectly happy with mine.

 

i feel that my life is going the same way any tips to avoid it?

 

it sounds more like depression than being a loser. do you go to school? what do your parents do about this?

 

Stop thinking.
I've found that the more aware you are the more fucked up your head will be x.x
Lol.

I watched a 60 minute documentary about the 60s drug culture yesterday, a stupid thing to do but I felt like I needed the inspiration to write a song. It was a grueling night. I talked to myself constantly for 3 hours and cried for 4. I can't handle reading about the 60s, watching it, hearing about it, talking about it, sometimes even thinking about. I mean I do it all the time, but it tends to make me an emotional wreck. And that is the way I live in the past so much it's pathetic. The future and present barely exists to me. So... loser part might be partially true.

But I wrote the song. It's called "Can't Find A Way Home"