Do men experience cheating differently?

Hey there guys!

I recently picked up a psychology magazine that had some statistics from a survey they had done regarding men and cheating.

Just wanted to get the hippy.com gentlemens oppinion on this.

The questions asked to the men surveyed was

If your wife/girlfriend/partner approached you and told you she had cheated on you and was in love with another man, what would your first primary focus be;

A: She had sexual intimacy with another man

B: She was in love with another man


I guess the study was focusing on the male sexual drive as opposed to emotional drive.
Either way you'd be pissed i'm sure! The magazine said "sexual intimacy would be mens general first focus if confronted with that situation"....

Just curious what your thoughts are, is all.

Lexi

 

I wouldn't think that she loves another man, or that she had sex with another man, but that she destroyed a secret agreement that we both secretly agreed upon; and that is to not have sex with anyone else unless we actually talked about it and ok'd it beforehand.


In other words, I would be upset that she broke a sacred agreement.

 

I can only say how I feel. I think men do feel differently about it. I think females feel that we don't love them anymore. Males feel like: Hey! It's only sex. Unless the male is REALLY insecure. My own case is unique. I would understand if my mate went elsewhere for what I can't give her much of anymore due to health conditions. It's not her fault or anyone elses. I think it's all an emotional decision that only the individual can make.

 

I was very effected by a cheating spouse with my first wife, we were both in our 20's.
I'll tell you it ripped my heart out, more than once.
I'll ask you what could be worse than some guy asking you "how does your wife keep her pussy so tight after having two kids ?"
My current wife of 16 years had long talks befor we married. We had both been hurt by cheating spouses, and agreed if you love someone, how could hurt someone that deeply with adultery. Just not in the cards for us.........Alaskan

 

Depends on the relationship. Some were only about the sex (in hindsight) and then its what you'd think about first. When you're actually in love, well thats probably what will hit you hardest.

 

I wouldn't think much of it. I'd just dump the girl on the spot, and move on to someone who actually appreciates me.

I wouldn't date someone who was that sexuality vulnerable to begin with.

 

I think one of the hardest things is trying to move on from being cheated on. Its hard to let go of the fear once you've found a new relationship & to say "ok this person will not hurt me again like the last one",
yet the mind doesn't always let you believe what you want it to.
It remembers the grief, and develops ways of protecting itself, paranoia, jealousy.....

Its a hard one to lay to rest!


Are we ever fully trusting again?????

 

I think there are alot of variable to the situation for example, if i were not in love (liked the girl very much but not in love) the actual act of sex would be more upsetting. where as if i was in love, a one off thing isn't as upsetting as losing the person you love (or atleast losing their love) and the fact they were willing to hurt you.

 

Your wife/girlfriend/partner approached you and told you she had cheated on you and was in love with another man.

Since in the scenario above the first thing I'd hear is "cheated", not "in love", my frist thought would be that she was sexually intimate with someone else.

Change the order of the actions and I'd change the order of my reaction, simply because of the presentation.

 

To me it doesn't matter. Either way she violated a sacred trust.

If a woman cheats on me, the relationship is over. Period. I don't particularly care what her motives were.

There are plenty of women out there, they make up half the population, so why stay with one you can't trust?

 

The sex would bother me more. A woman might not be able to help falling in love with another guy, and whilst it is horrible, there are right ways to deal with that.

Sleeping him however is a direct breach of trust, and a deliberate disregarding of you as a man.

 

Cheating simply proves that she isn't in love with you.

 

And if your car breaks down this proves that it is actually a table...

 

my husband and i have discussed this before. basically, his thoughts on the topic were that it's not the sex, it's the loving another man. it would complete destroy our family and friendship. he doesn't worry so much about it, though, because, seriously, he's a complete badass. the odds of me finding someone as awesome or better than him are pretty fucking slim. so it's not really all that scary for him. we've got an awesome family here, why would either of us want to blow it?

 

Yes, I think the depth of the relationship would play a major part in how one feels about it.

I've only been cheated on once, and it I had only been in the relationship a month, so I was more bothered about the sex, being the specific act of disloyalty, than the feelings involved.

 

POEE?

 

Good one, and you're right. A car that doesn't run may be usefull as a shelf, and a gf that cheats would make a good curb ornament. It's unfortunate that I've got a lot of experience being the dummy that gets cheated on, but I've learned that the impact of having someone so close becoming intimatly close to someone else will cause irrepairable damage, and I won't even try to rectify the situation. As hard as it can be to not think about it, I would do my best to forget about her, and move on without feeling at all. In the end it would be "all done but the crying," and she just wouldn't be worth crying over.

 

well, you know, if at this point in time dave cheated on me, i'd just be upset if he didn't use a condom. our relationship is sorta beyond that now. our sex life is WONDERFUL and active. but he does travel a lot for his job. it gets lonely. to be fully honest, he has permission. he's a wonderful man, and i really doubt he's going to find anyone as great with him as i am. i'm not perfect for everyone, but i'm perfect for him.

 

Howdy Reverend....

lol I'll catch you otherwheres... you're banned already.


already.

I didn't even get to see how

 

On a show about serial killers and how people experience emotions differently they did a study on men and women cheating.

It found that men worry more about their lover having sex, while women worry more about their mate falling in love with another women. They showed that genetically this makes sense because men look for more than one mate to procreate with to make more of the species, and women need a mate that will raise and support the offspring.