after a couple months i'm back on the forums. didn;t want to come back to all this. talked a bunch about my ex. end of october i found out he had been having a side relationship with this girl who lived closer to him, since july. she didn't know about me. and we decided to talk a little and we both hit it off in a sense. felt the same way. after a week or so i decided it might be weird to check up on her...but then something didn't make sense. and i figured it out. they were back together. now she's throwing her life away for him. moving to oregon. i'm over it. him. he's been trying to get me to talk with him. but that's just retarded. now i'm having this thing where. i totally distance myself from a guy when i can't figure their intentions. i just hung out with this extremely nice guy. but i'm just afraid. i know i can't think every guy is going to do what my ex did to me. i just hate feeling vulnerabe.
ouch? what i did to deserve being cheated on? absolutely nothing. he was too needy. i lived an hour away. he wanted me to be there all the time.
Notice I didn't say "deserve." I'm not making a moral statement, nor am I trying to rationalize cheating. Nor do I want to seem lacking in empathy for what happened to you. All I'm saying is that we pick our poisons, sometimes in very subtle ways --- like in our choice of partners or the kind of relationship we engage in. And taking responsibility for our part in the dynamic, is how we grow. If he wanted you to be there all the time and you weren't: wasn't that a telling sign of what was to come? Relationship problems don't go away. They are either resolved or they morph into something greater. That's my experience. Good luck.
