there is an astounding sense of numbening about me, entwined in a rope of truth that chokes me from my mind. i have recently faced a year and a half long series of overly dramatic events.. which have led me to a extended depressed period of time, which sounds childish in my eyes now.. maybe it was the events. maybe it was the events that it led me to, that makes me that just more disappointed. when the truth or supposed truth,or the truth we are paranoid might exist on a incognant level known to many others but ourselves, for isnt that the art of being a human.. the less you conceit to your own appearace, the more you can enjoy others on a nonbiased level.. because you dont set them those higher expectations your set on yourself. the more we let people slide by, the more we let them think their behaviours are acceptable, the lower standards they set for themselves. this is true... over an extended period of time i would imagine. even in all this pain i have realized today, for its the story i never got to and.. maybe thats the best. its a personal one... one im not very fond of. its a time in my life i truly honestly wish i could forget, but still of learned from. it btw has nothing to do with drugs but just personal experiences.. and i should add it was the weed that led me to realize the truth, which has turned for the best. to help me see through others perspective on a deeper level, to know the truth when i look in their eyes instead of giving the benefit of the doubt.. teach me how to feel.. so i can be less numb, and more alive so i can identify real pain from mediocre happiness, because the more i can feel, the more i can know to turn away.
i think i have to get high first to pay attention but its cool ive had a pretty rough last year too ive recently been getting these major mood swings from depression to anger its fucked up
