Do girls want sex?

Me mocking? YOu jest!

But honestly, one more time, just because it CAN be that way doesn't mean it has to be that way. I'm not solely driven by looks. It's called maturity, and I don't mean that in an insulting way. There comes a point where you realize all that shit goes away and it's not important. Great lust can be had regardless.

 

carsick,

what i am saying is that sexual and racial preferences are very related. the vast majority of white women do not date outside their race. Some white women do but even they have racial preferences such as black guys or Latino (Spanish) men. Being south Asian is rarely a preferred choice but a big drawback. So, no, it is not racist to point out that white people are clueless about racism because they are not negatively affected.

In fact, white men are the preferred choice for ethnic minority females for reasons such as upward social mobility and access to the larger white society. You will see lots of Asian females with white men but few white females with Asian men. Conversely, white males don't like black females but black males love white women. Ethnicity plays a huge role in your life experience and what I am saying is that white people are largely immune and oblivious to this concept.

Did you ever see the movie "Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle"? I've got a story about that if you have the time.

 

Well, looks do go away with age sadly this is true. But when you are in your youth, looks are the prime motivation why people get together. People in their 30s and older don't have the level of lust of people in their youth.

I'll tell you another story. I was in a college biology class and our professor who was a 60-ish old man began talking about sexuality and said "its lust". Of course you heard some mumbling in the crowd of 18-22 year old kids about how wrong this old man was. But 20 years after this class, I can say my professor was so right. When you are 40 years old, see if you think LUST plays a part in youthful sexuality.

 

yeh , i get your point , women go for power (money), generally offcourse !!??

harold and kumar!!!! i discard that as teenage stoner crap!! whats the appeal??

 

Rj, I'm not saying lust plays no part. That's foolish. It certainly does play a part and a large one at that. But it's not THE deciding factor. It CAN be but often times there are other factors at play.... besides alcohol even!

Granted when I'm 40 I'm probably not going to be able to ravage my lady friend like a weasel anymore. But that's chill, because I possess all that other stuff that's been getting me laid in the first place.

The other thing to consider is the person, there are lots of women who are lust and looks oriented, but I don't think the percentage is as large as you think.

Since we're sharing stories, here's a go:
I hang out at a members only dive bar, the crowd is older people mid 30s to late 60s... and biker gang people. One night there was a guy I'd never seen before chewing my friends ear off the entire night about how all women were the same and here's what you gotta do to bag a lady, this whore over there... all you gotta do is go up to her and do ______ or say _________ if you've got _________ they'll be all over you. He went on and on for about an hour constantly at my friends ear. In between his advices and quips about women kind, he would intersperse various reasons why he couldn't get any from these women. And randomly tossing accolades my way because as he put it: "you're friends all set, that old slut over there wants to jump his bones cause he knows, he knows everything I'm saying, etc etc" Fucking nonsense. The reason the woman wanted to be up on me is because I wasn't raving on like a lunatic about how I knew women so well. I was dressed like a total freak show, I hadn't shaved or showered, and on the whole I'm NOT an attractive pretty boy person.

Why couldn't he get anything from them? Because he was more interested in pissing and moaning and giving advice that getting his head in the game and making it happen. (the unrelated punch line here is that my friend is gay and didn't care at all about the women at the bar, but didn't have the heart to tell this dude who'd latched onto him. Also we thought it better to no mention his orientation considering the possibly less than understanding clientel.)

You get what you put into any situation, if you feel you don't have the looks, let it slide, work on the rest of your game instead. If you walk around feeling like you don't have the looks something changes about your energy or pheromones or some nonsense... The road will be as tough as you decide to make it.

 

my first boyfriend, my first everythign really, was asian. and ive seen quit ea few hella hot asian guys around here, and we dont even have a terribly large asian population (im out in the prairies in north america)

of course a physical connectino is required. but its no the beall-endall of sex. a lot of people, women especially, require an emotional connection as well. personally, for a relationship, i need a physical, emotional and intellectual connection. but thats me, not every woman of course

 

an Asian dude has to be much better looking than a white guy to get nearly the same attention. We are generally shorter and lighter than whites and black guys thus this is a disadvantage. Also, since we are a new immigrant community the mainstream white population does not see us as true parts of this society.

I really feel very alienated from Americans and I have lived here since 1978, 29 years. When will I ever be one of you? Answer is never.

Ever watch Harold and Kumar the movie? I was on the beach in the Pacific and walking bakc to my car, as I passed 5 white college age people and walked by them by a few yards they started taunting me "hey where is harold?? Kumar! Kumar!!" . Not funny in the least to me but i saw that as a racial taunt.

is it possible for an Asian guy to get sex with American females? Yes, but it is much much more difficult than for a white guy due to racial dislikes, racist stereotypes and outright racism. It also is very painful to me to have to explain this over and over again to a white audience who is generally oblivious to these matters since it does not affect them, so why should they give a damn?

 

I understand your point, a positive attitude matters. I'm 39 and I know what makes for success in many aspects of life and yes, thinking positive is a huge plus.

One thing I want to convey repeatedly which doesn't seem to register with white people is that they have such a huge competitive advantage just by being a white guy. You are already a "known" and "safe" thing vs. a foreigner who they don't even want to talk to because the stereotype is that I am very alien.

There are also ethnic preferences like I said a lot of white women won't date black guys, don't you honestly think race matters in that case?

hell, there are ESCORTS who are the nastiest filthiest whores around who will NOT service black guys. Some escorts also openly advertise that they only do white men. So if filthy whores are racist you can imagine the difficulty with normal upper middle class white women crossing the racial line; its quite rare. Again, I don't hate you but I just am saying that if you look at it mathematically, the white guy has a huge built in numerical advantage.

when I used to go out to eat with my white friends, I noticed the white women would look at them as we walked into the restaurant. I don't ever remember even 1 woman ever making eye contact with me or looking in my direction in several years. Race matters a lot, everyone has racial likes and dislikes, even me. I like to look at white women the most and asian women the least but I would never say no to anyone due to race alone; however many many women will do this.

I go to strip clubs a lot in TX and let me tell you the place is absolutely crawling with Chinese and Indian guys on a Friday and Saturday night , probably about 1/3 of the patrons. We are less than 6% of the population, so how can this be explained? I don't talk to the China guys but my fellow Indians and they all say the same thing, that American women are not interested in them so the only access to females they have is strippers. (or if they go to escorts). Or they can get married , bummer.

 

The issues of racism you bring up are certainly very real, however, what's to be done about that? It's not an issue of physical attractiveness as much as it is an issue of ignorance. Moreover, please don't take this the wrong way... have you concerned other social circles besides the bar, restaurant bar, strip club, escort scenes? Not that racism and ignorance don't continue to exist, but SEVERAL of my friends that I know are or have been involved in "mixed" (silly term) relationships. White people, Indian people, African people, Caribbean island people, latin people etc etc. Just because your experience has been negative doesn't mean that generalization carries over everywhere. Your experience is what you make it.

 

im sorry you went through that... what can i say, people are idiots? i get random shit hollerd at me from cars becuause im overweight. which just goes to show that there are jerks even here in canada (but thanks for assuming im american )
my first bf, teh asian one, wasnt particularly good looking. he certainly wasnt hideous, but it was his personality that first drew me to him and made me want to pursue him/be interested in him.

 

I knew a girl from another forum-she was white, and she really had a thing for South Asian guys, and she ended up marrying one. You know, everybody's different.

And what's so wrong with getting married? You know, it seems that with a lot of South Asians, 'getting married' really very often means an arranged marriage, someone your parents fix you up with. So a lot of people in this ethnic group don't look at dating in the same way other people do. In other words, many of them are looking at the person that they might date as just someone to screw around with, not as a future spouse, and there's kind of a disconnect because of that. And with 'white' people or other ethnic groups, that person you're dating might very well be your future spouse someday, too, if things work out right. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

 

RJ,


I don't mean to sound insensitive. I do agree that a lot of priviledge goes hand in hand with being white; including in the affectionate arena. I also understand that I live in New York, and not in Texas, and that must make crossing racial boundaries easier for me. Not EASY but easiER.

Ok. Those are the external factors we can do nothing about. But you talk as if your affectionate experience is completely bound by societal forces. THAT, I don't buy.

I'm also a foreigner, and of african descent. I've also faced prejudice under many circumstances. But, actually, I get a fair amount of "play" from white women.

I deal routinely with white women who wouldn't consider dating a non-white; but there is still a huge amount of white women that will, and there are actually great numbers of white women who FAVOR me over white men.

They may be in the minority, I don't know. But they are still numerous enough that I can date them to my heart's content.

You say you've never been looked at by a white woman. VERY strange...Could that be matter of perception? Or is there another reason they don't peep you out?

 

Allonym,


PLEASE don't compare being non-white with being obese. I don't support any de-humanizing jeering behavior toward obese people, but obesity is unhealthy and it does reflect psychological traits.

Being non-white doesn't. There are non-whites who are perfectly healthy; both physically and psychologically.

Secondarily, I would add that people are NOT jerks. Racism is not an individual thing, it's a systemic thing.

 

I doubt that you've ever been to Texas. I live there. In the town next to me, about 50% of the couples are interracial-usually black men with white women. In the big cities like Houston, interracial couples of every imaginable mix are everywhere. In fact, I'd bet there is a lot more prejudice in the Northeast than there is here. I myself am the product of an interracial marriage. Texas in a lot of ways is a helluva lot more open-minded than the 'enlightened' North.

 

I'm not making a "northern" argument. I am familiar with different kinds of prejudice --- in Latin America, for instance, where no one will ever admit to being prejudiced, and interracial relationships are the norm; socio-economic disparity between whites and blacks is greater than in the U.S.

My greatest love, Beth: was a white Texan (Corpus Christi). Most the time we went unnoticed. In certain neighborhoods in Brooklyn, we were stared at a few times.

So...I've seen both. I've been to Jacksonville, FL (not the same, I know!) and I've seen David Duke's rallies and a town racially divided by one large avenue (where local police stood) and KKK members on one side; blacks on the other....

I've seen southern whites who still unapologetically use the word '******' have much closer and genuine (even egalitarian) relationships with blacks than a lot of your bleeding-heart northern liberals whose egalitarianism survives in the mind, and who never actually have close relationships with anyone who isn't white, but may have several "black friends."

However, I don't know what RJ's context is, or how large a town he lives in. In New York a white-Indian couple wouldn't draw that much attention. It's up to him to tell me whether, in his millieu, the same is true.

P.S. I am familiar with the New York Times article which debunks the myth that the North is less segregated than the South (West Coast is least segregated of all; North and South are actually similar). I've actually had black acquaintances from the South say unambiguously the North is "more racist."

I think it's a matter of different kinds of racism. In New York some of the wealthiest minorities live. But the poorest minorities are trapped in a revolving door between jail and the park bench; whereas a city like Atlanta, for instance, has had a very stable black middle-class for at least half-a-century.

RJ, I know you're not black. These were examples I'm familiar with.

But thanks for the wake-up call, Charise!

 

^^^ Very intelligent post-me likey! ^^^

And I certainly agree that the North is overall more predjudiced than the South, despite the fact that the South was the segregated and former slave-holding part of the country. Of course, the stereotypes you see on TV would lead you to believe just the opposite. And Northerners like to see themsleves as being enlightened and open-minded, while deep down there's more real prejudice there than in the South. Billy Graham once told Martin Luther King that he thought that racial relations would progress more in the South than in the North because in the South blacks and whites knew how to be friends. I think that's completely true.

Very interesting post, and all quite true.

 

i never said obese, i said overweight
and prejudice is prejudice. it still hurts, regardless of which group is being targeted.

 

I've said this before but since you said you are black,I'll rehash.

-- many white women will never date black guys
-- some white women will date whites and blacks and maybe Latinos, but not Asians
-- some white women will only date black guys, since they like the look or the music or the ways black guys dance etc.

Black guys are in demand sexually much much more than south Asian guys.

thank you for your honesty about saying that there are white women who won't interact with you because you are black. You also added that there are enough for you to handle, which is great but what I am saying that even for a black guy the sex game is much much better than for a south or east Asian.

Its like this...

suppose there are 100 white women

70 of them will never date black guys, 30 will. So you praxis have 30 women to talk to. For me , 95 of them are not into indian guys, 5 might be. So you praxis have 6 times the number of sexual chances that I do. The white guy has 20 (100 to 5) chances that I do.

It's a numbers game, which is what I am saying all along.

Sexually speaking, I'd much rather be black despite all the racism that black people have to endure. But it is best to be white, no doubt about it.

 

among the lower classes, whites and blacks mix sexually quite often Among the higher classes, it declines a lot because for an upper income white woman, being with a minority is seen as ghetto behavior.

and like you said, it is black MEN and white WOMEN, but don't you agree that white MEN and black WOMEN are much less frequent?

It's quite predictable and scientific and does not disprove racial preferences but in fact it PROVES racial preferences. Like I said, you won't see many white MEN with black WOMEN, right? It happens but is much less frequent than the inverse case.

my black guy friends have had an endless supply of women of all races. Me and my south Asian (Indian) guys are left out of this sexual circus that is the USA.

 

Yes, it's true that there are a lot more black men with white women, white men with Asian women. That certainly is a pattern.

But you didn't address what I brought up in my previous post-what would marraige be to you? Your parents finding you the right mate? Or you finding her for yourself? If you're only looking at dating as a means to screw around, and not to find your potential lifelong partner, then you're going to look at dating very differently.

And, the USA is not a 'sexual circus'. No wonder you have problems with meeting women, if that's really the way you look at things. It's all about 'sex'-not romance, companionship, love. Sorry, that's not what it's all about. I think the real problem you have in dealing with women is your attitude toward the whole subject in the first place.