Tell me your nastiest jokes...

Here's a nasty one:

It's a just married couple going at a charming little inn, which is located near a gigantic lake plentiful of fishes.

So, the morning after, the husband gets up early, and go downstairs:

The owner of the inn: Hello Sir!

Husb: Hello...

Owner: How're you?

Husb: Fine... I go fishing.

Later, at the evening, the husband comes back with plenty big fishes, and gives them to the owner.

The morning after, happened just like the previous one, the husband goes fishing, leaving his wife alone in the room.

And it continued for all the week, so the owner, confused, decided to have a talk with the husband.

"Tell me, sir, you're just married, and all you do is going fishing while leaving your wife alone in the room. Why don't you take profit of these vacations to have "some fun" with her?"

"No... no... she does have a little infection down here, so not now..."

"Ah? So... maybe in the anal way?"

"No, she got hemorroids, so that's not possible..."

"Blow-job?"

"Nah, she got herpes, so..."

"HAnd job?"

"Nope, she got excema, so..."

"I really, REALLY wonder why you have married her!"

"Well... The thing I love with her is that she got worms BIG LIKE THAT, and for fishing, that's the best you can find!!!"

 

Man, some of those are truly great

I'm really not big on telling jokes, and this is actually the only joke I know:




Three ducks were blowing bubbles in the pond. A cop came by, saw them, and immediately arrested them. Anyhow, the ducks are sent to jail... and eventually the day of their trial comes.

In court, the judge calls the ducks to the witness stand one by one.

The first duck goes up, and the judge tells him: "State your name, and what you did."
The duck answers: "My name is ducky duck and I was blowing bubbles in the pond".

The judge then calls the second duck to the stand and says to him: "Tell me your name, and what you did."
The second duck responds: "My name is ducky duck, and I was blowing bubbles in the pond."

The judge then calls the third duck to the stand and tells him: "Let me guess, your name is ducky duck, and you were blowing bubbles in the pond..."

The duck looks at the judge, smiles, and says: "No man, my name is Bubbles".

 

What's the difference between a cadilac and a pile of dead babies?







I don't have a cadilac in my garage.

lol

 

What's red and lies in the corner squealing?


A peeled baby rolling in salt..


Sorry!

 

what did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month!



Whats worse than a baby in a bin?

A baby in 7 bins


I really hate that baby joke, but u wanted sick! And my mate Rich happens to have a very sick sense of humour... lol

 

Why do you feed a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch its expression...

 

How can a girl tell if her boyfriend has a high sperm count?

If she has to chew before she swallows.