Domestic Violence: Does the pain ever go away?

Hi, I'm sorta new here, so I'm hoping this is the right place to post this thread, but if it's not, sorry. I just figured that the percentages of domestic violence victims are greater in women so that's why I'm posting here. I'm a survivor of domestic violence. It's been nearly 3 years now since I've been out of that relationship, and I've been through therapy for 2 1/2 years. But I still have what I feel are symptoms of being a survivor. I still feel alienated from surrounding individuals, unable to make friends, uneasy around co-workers and even family. I constantly feel like I'm doing something wrong. Don't get me wrong, I have made progress. I used to hurt myself and have stopped doing that. I believe that to be my greatest achievement in therapy. But with the other stuff, I'm just wondering if these feelings are ingrained in my personality now, or if I will ever get over them. Any advice out there?

 

I was raised in an emotional/mental/verbal abusive family. I am 22. I will forever be engrained with the personality adaptations of an abuse survivor. I will always believe I am lying. I will always make my needs and wants less important that the needs and wants of others. I will always strive to make others happy before myself. I will always see myself as worthless. I will work on changing those things my entire life, but I fear they will always be with me.

 

I was in a domestic violence relationship for ohh too long i have no clue. he manipluated me took my money took my heart broke it in a million p;ieces smashed my face against the cement controlled me and i put people first before myself. i feel as though i sometimes i am worthless why am i here because MOST of my relationships were like that and all i ever got was hit kiked punched blah blah list goes on. raped molested. Now i get that was the past. No it was the past but its in me to see the past in the present and future. I'm in Social srvices Worker program in college 1st yr to help ppl who have suffered what i have gone through.

Needless to say i need jaw surgery becaues the asshole dislocated my jaw because he was so happy to smash my face against the cement but i need to get over the past .. Umm no i don't think so.

Wrong.

 

the pain will always stay with me whether ppl will say o that was the past get over it. too friggin bad. i did nothing wrong to them and thats what i deserved.

 

Well, it's nice to at least hear that people who have gone through similar situations feel very much like I do. However, I'm very sorry to hear about your jaw frick. That really sucks. The most I ever got was stuff like bloody noses, black eyes, bruised ribs, etc. It finally took the cops coming to my house, my ex-husband lying to them that I was the root of everything that occured that night, and the cops threatening to take my kids away. After that it took awhile for me to actually get out, and the court battles about the kids were tough, but I got myself and my children in to therapy and was able to at least physically detach myself from the abuse. I will keep trying though to work through the long term emotional stuff. I find it hardest when I'm tired, not to revert back to "unhealthy" ways of thinking.

Frick, are you at least able to sue the guy that did this to you for medical costs? I hate it when people say to just get over it. It hurts the most when my own family says it.