Mom and dad were heroes I was born in 1934 during the Great Depression. Dad drove a city bus in Amarillo Texas. My family moved to a very small town in Oklahoma before my first birthday; I had four siblings at the time we moved from Texas to Oklahoma to manage a small café and hotel that was then being managed by my uncle who wished to return to farming. During the next 15 years my family managed that café and hotel. The building and the business was owned by an absentee landlord, Mr. Ruttzel. The operation was a 24/7 job that took the total energies of all members of the family as each of us became old enough to work. This operation allowed my parents to raise a large family in reasonably comfortable conditions throughout the depression and war years of World War II. What is the meaning of ‘hero’? I have taken one definition from the dictionary and have modified it to represent my comprehension of this concept of ‘heroic’. Heroic is a concept meaning a “determined effort [directed to achieve good or deter evil] in the face of difficulty”. In this definition I define ‘good’ as being that which promotes human life and ‘evil’ as that which promotes human death. I think that there are degrees of heroic action. Some heroes are greater than others depending upon the circumstances of their action. To be a hero often requires courage and often causes personal hardship. On a scale of one to ten I would classify the following people as heroes in most people’s judgment: Mother Theresa (10) Police and firemen entering the burning buildings in 9/11 attack (8 to 10) My mom and dad (7) Men and women fighting in Iraq: our side (5 to 10) their side (?) Youngster really trying to make good grades in school (7) The psychologist Alfred Adler said: “The supreme law [of life] is this: the sense of worth of the self shall not be allowed to be diminished.” Heroic actions are our means for maintaining our self esteem. Without heroic action we cannot maintain our own self-esteem. Self-esteem is self-respect. We judge our self as to the degree of worthiness for respect. We rely partially upon the judgment of others but that respect from others is filtered by our own judgments to how heroic our actions are. It appears that we must feel self-esteem or we suffer mental illness of one degree or another. I gain self-esteem by reading lots of stuff, writing about that stuff, and posting that stuff on this forum, i.e. I am a self-actualizing self-learner (6). What do you do for self-esteem?
Self esteem is the reinforcement of ego, as "self" identifies with qualities it favors and likes to call it's own. Heroes are people who are capable of expressing these qualities in a dynamic way. On a spiritual path, ego must be throttled back so as to allow the heart to speak rather than the mind. It is not an either/or as both are needed. Knowledge of self is a critical observation that any seeker must make. Gnothi Seauton. The maturity of this self knowledge eventually fruits to an awareness where the idea of self is seen as a product of the mind and does not represent the true reality. If you love heroes as a seeker, you will embody them as a realized being. What do I do for self esteem? As I have to live within the world, I have to maintain a certain reputation among those who I interact with. I do this by serving humanity. I live by example, so that others can lift themselves away from their tiny world of the individual "I". Its okay to be born an island. Its regretable to die as one. x
One reason that I posted this was because I wanted to introduce a word that is so very important to the sciences of psychology and psychoanalysis. All that I have read about these two sciences indicate that what are called heroic acts are those acts that reinforce our self-esteem and with out self-esteem we are pitiful creatures. We have many words in the language that have both a common usage and also have a technical usage. The word ‘hero' is one such word. I have been studying psychology and psychoanalysis for the last many months and these domains of knowledge use the word 'hero' in a technical manner.
McMansions equals heroic action for American citizens. "We're not selling shelter," says the president of Toll Brothers, a builder of upscale homes. "We're selling extreme-ego, look-at-me types of homes." In 2000, Toll Brothers' most popular home was 3,200 square feet; by 2005, it had grown 50 percent, to 4,800 square feet. These "McMansions" often feature marble floors, sweeping staircases, vaulted ceilings, family rooms, studies, home entertainment centers and more bedrooms than people. 'House Lust' Hits Home Article from Washington Post Jan 2, 2008
In the tantras which deal with more essential aspects of our personality such as our spirit or selfhood, one develops 'divine pride' as based in realigning ones mind with their more compassionate and moral center. Previously one took some egoic or individualistic tact of self centered pride, but now due to diligent meditation of universality one becomes a source of refuge for other beings. In the same way that adopting a pet or child one becomes their refuge through changes and various crises. However no specific or material action or thing is at the basis of their realignment of persona. Though it takes experience of the meditational reality.
You want to know how to find self esteem in a changing world where the values our parents sacrificed their lives for are now mere mealy mouthing of professionals. You find the unchanging center of goodness that you are innately. It's not difficult as nobody really wants to live in a world where it's all hatefull and unkind. People that do are warped. Unwarp yourself and reside naturally at your center which is the same center as all that's living. Simple. Reside as simplicity. Like cooking a small fish, use gentle touch, use light seasonings. Too much cooking with furrowed brown breaks the fish into smithereens and too much seasoning on the tender flesh kills its natural flavor.
I agree 100% that self-esteem and a positive self image are essential for us as human beings if we want to have any quality of life experience. How one gets self-esteem is another question. I don't mean by self-esteem an egoistic attitude like 'I know it all', or a sense of superiority to others - but to see one's faults and failings, but to also see the good in oneself, and to focus on times when one has acted in a worthy manner. An example from my own life would be the fact that during my time as a single parent I did my utmost to ensure my daughter got a good upbringing and education - it was a very hard time for me, but I got through it. It was indeed an heroic struggle at times. I had to make scrifices. But now I can know that I did that despite all the misery and immense problems, which does indeed re-inforce my self esteem, and has also earned me respect from others.
In my opinion, the word hero signifies a person who is sincerely making a sensible attempt to improve themselves, those around them, and their environment. But this includes many different types of people and many different types of methods. But it must be honest and obviously altruistic. A person is not a hero if they live for themselves alone. Even if they believe that they are the key to humanity, they would fail to achieve any status without some form of humanitarianism. I agree that good self-esteem is not the same as egotistical. In fact, low self-esteem and egotism are negative in their effect. Good self-esteem springs from an understanding of yourself and your relation to reality. It promotes good health and general well being for others. America's values have long ago been perverted. But this is inevitable in all societies such as ours. We are a reflection of the Roman Empire. A nation with few significant enemies (or so we like to believe) who's culture is evolving faster than it can handle. We are falling apart internally, socially seperating ourselves. This is typical anthropologically. Every society splits when it becomes to big, much like a cell, unless that society has something else to focus on. This is the reason why we have always had an enemy, a "them" to keep our eyes on. Germany, Korea, Vietnamn, Russia, Iraq, Drugs, Kosovo, Terrorism. They are trying to keep us from doing what humans do naturally, seperate ourselves from each other. This is ego. And many "heros" are crowned in major conflicts. The true heros are the people striving for peace, unlike the politicians running our country. But we must accept the flow. All occurs as it should.
