Here is my problem... I'm a 21 year old virgin who's looking for a serious relationship. One of my issues is that the girl hunting is going bad; as I tend to find older / smarter / kinkier girls much more interesting. I do have a close friend who has expressed interest in me; she's 31 years old, great looking, and caring. But I don't see a serious (long) relationship happening here (ironically because of the age); I do like her for who she is, and she's a pleasure to be with. Now, I'm an atheist, and I don't have any reason for being a virgin other than saving it for that special someone. But lately I've been wanting to play around with a girl really badly (*sigh* I have a terrible kinky side). I feel like a relationship with the 31 year old may not last; but I also feel that it may be important (educationally speaking) to have the practice... I also feel that if I keep my virginity, that it will help me find the perfect girl (if such a thing exists). At this point in life I don't want to date someone I can't have sex with, I just can't handle that. My question to you guys; should I lose it or keep looking?
And now I'm having seconds thoughts on the matter... The issue is that my horniness is interfering with what I truly want (love... *sigh*). Maybe I should keep on trying to find the right girl for me.
honestly... its up to you no one expects a person to be a virgin when they meet them in their 20s. damn near no one expects their best fit or true love or whatever to be a virgin when they meet up, unless they met when they were like 7 years old. if you wanna save it for smoeone whos more special thats totally up to you. if you wanna lose it now because your horniness is overriding your brains regular thoughts, well, thats up to you too
What would you be "saving"? Why do you equate having sex for the first time with a "loss"? What is love? What makes people you love "special"? How do you know who that person is, or if she even exists? Can there be more than one person who's "special"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I understand our vocabulary many times falsifies reality: "We lose our virginity." It is obvious that by having sex for the first time we gain an experience. But what is it that we actually "lose"? Would you be offering "less" to someone you love were you not a virgin? And what does a relationship that "lasts" mean? How long? Get to thinking (!) and good luck.
Honestly, I've heard some "losing my virginity" horror stories, and these people regretted it... not because they weren't with someone they loved but because they were drunk, high, in the back seat of a car, the bed of a truck, weren't ready, etc. You sound like you're ready to lose it, but not sure who you want to lose it to. I lost mine to a friend when in my 20's. It was something we planned, and it was nice. No regrets. In truth, your first time probably won't be all that great anyway (at least it's not usually that fun for a girl the first time she does it), and you probably will not end up with the person you lose it to in the long run anyway. People break up, things happen, we grow, move on....
heh, i always thoughth of virginity as something you gave, ie i gave my virginity to my first boyfriend. i mean, its not like its something you do by your lonesome, its a shared experience. my first time was pretty damn good tbh, but apparently im an anomaly that way
I don't really know what a man has to "loose", but your first time is something to remember. Older, wiser and experienced is not a bad thing. There are some really good comments about regrets because you were drunk or high or somethings like that. Take your time, it happens naturally. Make your decision based on your whole self and not just your sex drive. There is plenty of time to base decision on your sex drive.
