long story short i've had a post before bout long disstance relationship, how my missus went overseas for jus over 1/2 a year and come back with i dont want a relationship anymore. here's the thread http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=252927 but anyway thats the past and has been settled. its been few weeks now i know it wasnt that long ago but we both felt comfortable bout it are cool with it. even tho we're been through alot over the years we pretty much can detect every emotion and our ways if u know what i mean. like brother and sister connection.. can read eachother actions prefectly. lately she's been catchin up with friends and hangin out with them which is good but she's doing things that she never wanted to do previously with me or ever consider. for example watchin firework she never once wanted to see it with me but she does it with her other friends and watchin the sunrise with her friend on his bday. i guess what im tryin to get at is she never seems to wanna do things with me now. (i must admit she's does get lazy) i ask if she wanted to watch downloaded movie at her house and she declines or even play games on msn messenger. i feel our friendship doesnt feel like one. we have talked bout it but she said she doesnt know how to act towards me and she just feels comfortable to say no to me instead with her friends she force to do them so she can spend time with them even tho she doesnt wanna do it. in a way its not a bad thing cause its a special bond that she does feel comfortable with me. is it mayb she still has feelings for me? cause she has said she doesnt love me anymore but only as a friend. she made her decision of breakin up with me couple of mths before she come back and the reason was to be on her own so that she can learn and became a stronger person without someone holding her back. something she has to do herself.. which i understand, repect and trust her. i still love her much and im not gonna move on cause i feel that there's still something... that somewhere she still has a spot for me in the future. im hoping lol (tryin not to get my hopes up tho) just that feeling. im not sure what to do.. i try to keep myself busy but i dont have enough things to keep me 24/7. i do miss her and the things do just chillin out. talkin bout random things or doin silly things. i feel jealous of her friends even tho i have a stronger bond with her. it feels as if we're slowly driftin apart and i dont know how to bring it together. i dont wanna over crowd her. i give her space.. when we talk there's just nothing there.. no conversation or it just dies
WHile it is possible to be friends with an ex-lover, it is not very likely. I'm friendly with my ex-girlfriends, but I'm not friends with them. You say you're not gonna move on and that you still love her much. I know how what that's like because that's how I felt once. It took me a long time to get over that one girl who didn't love me the way I loved her. OUr situation was different - she was my best friend and she wanted to just be friends while I wanted something more. Even when she left to find work in Manila I held on to the hope that someday she just might look at me differently and give me a chance. I'd call her almost everyday just to hear her voice and every time I did my heart would break. After a few months she told me she met someone and naturally I said I was happy for her. That was the final straw for me, however, and I finally decided to give up and move on. I didn't want to, but I had to live my life! I know, my situation is different. But whatever the circumstances, heartbreak is always the same. I can tell you right now that you have two choices: you either hold on to this woman who says she doesn't love you and hope to God she'll realize she actually does, or you move on and continue with your life. YOUR LIFE, man. You still have that. You may have lost a lover but you still have your life; and when you're healed you can find someone else to love, and perhaps that someone will love you in return. In the meantime, let your ex go. Do it not just for her but for yourself. Because you need to be free too. It won't be easy - hell, it took me years to get over my friend and it cost us our friendship (we're still "friends" and I'm always glad to see her, but it's no longer the same). But trust me when I say it's necessary. Let her go for your sake - because it's unhealthy to hold on to someone who doesn't want to be with you. It will eat at you constantly, and what the hell will you do when she finds a new boyfriend? Do you honestly think you can remain friends with her when you're trying your hardest to be happy for her at the same time you're trying your hardest NOT to be jealous? Believe me, man. I've been there. You cannot be friends with someone if you find yourself jealous over her boyfriend - and there WILL be a boyfriend. Perhaps even more. You can count on that. Sorry this post is too long. It's just that your post reminded me of what I went through years ago, and I wanted to share my experience with you. Hope it helps. Peace, Musikero
