How do you change a habit?

I want to procrastinate less, quit smoking, communicate more openly, and drink less. Feel free to discuss your own habits if you wanna share.

It's not a New Year's thing, I assure you. Though the fireworks may have added a spark...lol.

I'm finding that, the more I beat myself up when I smoke, drink, isolate myself, and procrastinate --- the more likely I am to do it again.

"Just do it! Force yourself to do it! Punish yourself for not doing it!"

None of the above prescriptions seem to work. If anything, paradoxically, giving myself free rain has given better results in the past.

Whaddya guys think?

 

I think that you need to truly want to quit those habits in order to break them.

It's ridiculously easy to do something when you actually want to do it.

 

this pretty much sums it up

 

How?

Do it.

Nothing more to it

 

Yeah.. but smoking looks pretty cool.

Heh I'm just kidding. Its tough shit to break, you have to find what works for you. Some cut back slowely, some kick it cold turkey, and some hit the gum or the patch up. Just really go for it and you got it.

 

I wouldn't call it eeeeasy!

Maybe I'd phrase it "ridiculously realistic" ! lol.

What's difficult is unravelling the emotional patterns behind habits. That's what's difficult.

We all can "be good" for a day, and then we crack...unless you break the emotional patterns related to the habit and learn to think and feel them in a different way.

P.S. I look really cool without cigarettes, so I'm good...lol.

 

Anyone here without "vices"?

I know two people without any: my parents...lol.

Definition: a vice is a immediate-gratification pattern; usually linked to the need to escape unpleasant experiences.

 

Drinking... I don't know... I'm drinking now so maybe shouldnt say much.. but I've cut down significantly in the past... it helps me to know I enjoy feeling better, waking up feeling good, not gaining weight, being able to work out and be healthy.... drinking isn't that great anyways all the time.

I gotta quit smoking this year too. It's a bitch, I know. You do just gotta want to. I have some ideas actually on how to MAKE yourself WANT to... if interested, ask.

 

Interested!

 

This might sound ridiculous to you but I found it works. You gotta MAKE yourself SICK of cigs.- I found this out twice- didn't try it but I was motivated to quit and it lasted a while... you'd think you could reproduce the effects intentionally....

Do a lot of drugs or drink a lot or stay up for days and smoke a lot... whatever you gotta do... hell, get a cold and smoke a lot but get that sick, disgusting cig., tired of it feeling all over your body... get really mad and write a list or all the reasons you want to quit, go get the patch or whatever and quit a couple days later or cold turkey right then if you got it in ya.

 

yeap, sometimes we just wish we would want to break the habits, but deep inside we really dont, so it makes it hard for us to stop.

 

cognitive training! reward good behavior, not nesc. punish bad behavior, don't beat yourself up cause like you said you'll end up doing it again. instead set up little incentives for what you want to do, little rewards. like gone a day w/o a cig? get a reward, and progressively add to it, after a few days, a week-make the reward bigger.
also, i find its hard to change a lot of habits all at once-thats doomed for failure, just change one thing at a time, it may move slow but you'll have more chance to succeed.

 

just gotta really want to

you can do anything when you really want to

 

yeah, studies have actually shown that rewards are more effective in changing behaviour than punishments (don't ask what studies, it's been 2 or 3 years since i took that class). of course, i don't know how well it would work if it's a habit you don't really want to quit, and if you really do want to, you shouldn't even need to add reinforcement. it's also commonly ineffective when administering your own rewards and/or punishment, because people tend to cheat in that case, even if just subconsciously

 

When you're ready to make changes you'll do it. The forced willpower way of making substantive changes excruciating all but assures that they will fail.

Work your new habits into your routine. Stop frequenting places you buy your cigarettes. Hang out with people who do not drink or you haven't forged a relationship based on alcohol consumption. Eliminate the things you do that make procrastinating easy. Keep a written schedule calendar or planner and stick with it. Plan some structure in your day to day existence- even during "down" times.

Just some thoughts

 

oh i agree, but i figured the you have to want it was already made clear in the above posts. however, if he does desire it honestly, then his own rewards should be sufficient. you have to allow for some cheating-people find ways to cheat even if someone else administers the rewards/punishment. But i think if he truly does want it-then he'll stop cheating after a while.
The point is, after he really does want something then he should be able to cognitively change his behavior using various methods/rewards-whatever he finds right for him.
But i'm definitely sure, he could use encouragement and support-that will also help lower the chances of cheating

 

I need to stop procrastinating, also. I'm doing really good with it. I'll think to myself, "what else do I have to do right now? Why can't I get this done?" and I do it!

I wanted to write everyday but I already broke that. I passed out last night and didn't write. I guess I'm allowed one day, though, because this is a leap year haha

 

I want to...not look behind me with helplessness and feelings of loss, but look in front of me with anticipation of the many good things yet to come.

 

if you really want to, you will. i don't think you have to beat yourself over if you do fall back into it once- but maybe it helps to think about WHY you went back to it in the first place.
i think it's normal to have some relapses and what not. just make sure you are always in a position where you are keeping track of what you re doing. you need to stay in control. (because you are)
good luck

 

If you have a vice (habit), and you want to break it, you really have to hate that vice or habit, and realize that it's doing you more harm than good-otherwise you'll likely never be able to do it. I've quit a number of habits that way. Until I convinced myself of how detrimental those habits were to me, I didn't have a chance at kicking them.