Starting to wonder what do do with this girl.

Met this woman a while back, we have been dating for a while now, but lately it seems all she ever wants to do is go out and do things, its constantly movies, shows, expensive dinners, etc.

I make good money, and she does too, its not a matter of how much it costs, but I am starting to feel like she never wants to do the simple things like just chill at home, rent some movies and cuddle on the couch.

Her attitude is that we skipped over the dating portion of our relationship, we slept together within the first week or so. The thing that bothers me, is now she seems to be getting less and less interested in the things that make it worth while, at least for me. IMO this is spiraling downhill quickly.

The question is, do I just bail or ride this thing out? I can't stand a high maintenance woman, and I am starting to feel that is what she is. Kind of turning into a pain in the ass.

We have talked openly about it,
I like her a lot in a lot of different ways, but this shit has gotta end. its not that I mind doing things, going out on dates etc. I think she wants to press the rewind button, and get back to the good stuff, which IMO was already here until she started this crap. I just am kind of at my wits end here.

 

Well maybe you just don't have any interests that you share. She likes to go out, but as i see your more of a person that likes more intimate time spending ( just the two of you on a couch). And if you have talked about it and nothing has changed, it will never change. Thats my opinion.

 

To the OP:

You either both learn the art of compromise or agree to go your separate ways. If neither of you is going to yield, nothing will happen. If only one of you yields, there will be a lot of resentments over time. If you both agree to take turns, there just might be some hope for you both. Much luck.

 

agreed. there needs to be a balance; compromise is essential. tell her you respect her needs, but you also need to have the occasional mellow night at home just spending time with her and such. you could always try cooking a fancy meal at home too (fancy food for her, cuddling and a movie afterward for you)

 

I know you said it's not about the money, but...who's paying for most these things?
Are you "taking" her out or are you "going" out together?

I just had a similar problem actually.

 

it's nice when these things just fall into place without effort, but they obviously don't always. tell her you want to negotiate the number of nights you'll go out together versus the number of nights that you'll stay home together...and negotiate the number of nights you'll go your own way to pursue your own individual interests regardless of whether they involve going out or staying in. if she refuses to negotiate, then i'd say yeah...you're probably incompatible for the long-term. i'm a homebody myself, and in the past i've made the mistake of getting involved with people who wanted to constantly go out...big mistake. i like going out occasionally, but not constantly. to me that just gets exhausting fast, especially when you're going out to go to work all the time as it is.

 

"Compromise" means spending half your time doing things you don't want to do. Dump her and find someone who doesn't drive you crazy.

 

You mean dump her and find someone who wants exactly what he wants or at least whose wants don't conflict with his, yes? Well that is possible - and should he take your suggested option then I wish him the best of luck finding the perfect girl. But if he decides to stay, he really will need to spend half his time doing things he doesn't want to do. That is if he doesn't want to spend most of their time together fighting.

To the OP: I will have to rephrase my earlier post. You either both learn the art of compromise, or you dump her and look for someone whose wants and needs will not clash with yours.

 

I get bad vibes about her.If shes earning good why doesnt she ever put her hand in her pocket?

Theres a saying "whos a bigger wanker , the one who behaves like a wanker , or the one who lets them get away with it"( not calling u a wanker , but u get my meaning?: ))
SHe may think if youre happy about it , then she should take advantage , or take u up on things.

Frankly , Id have got very blunt with her , if she had become like a vampire , but I just dont know the facts here.Maybe behind the negative dynamic of it all , she is actually a nice person.I couldnt comment on what you say.
Ask her when shes gonna treat you to something.That might give u a clue about what shes like.

Finally , dont confuse good personality , with good characterer.
One is fun to be with 0, joking conversation etc.Character is their integrity.Two different things.
Good luck

 

sitting at home and watching a movie together can be so good.
i love doing things like that, it makes you bond much better

 

Blah, kind of taking some time off from her right now, I haven't been calling/texting her in the last few days. I have the feeling if I do talk to her right now I will probably rip into her, I am definitely beyond being a nice guy right now.

She was ok at first but it started to turn into a turn-off. I am starting to think that she always wants to be in control, always wants to do what she wants to do, which is not the way she seemed at first. Then its turning into complaining about stuff and she has this laundry list of things that she doesn't like now. She made a comment that she thinks all I ever want is to stay home and have sex, not even close. We probably have only had 3 days at home, infact one of those times I had cooked her a great dinner in a nice romantic setting. I just don't think we should be going out EVERY time to do something. I almost feel like she gets really ancy and bored easily. She does have a good head on her shoulders for the most part, I do think she is a bit overconfident and has a bit too much taste for her income. She makes in the 60K range a year, owns a condo etc, but that is what I would consider to be average, and for what she does she isn't going to break much beyond that.

She has also made a couple comments about my sucess in life. I only started making good cash in the last year or so(quite a bit more than her), I live in a nice house, but I am only starting to fill it with furniture, I have a lot of old debt that needs to be paid off etc, but I get the feeling that she holds that against me, which is complete bullshit.

She is leaving for 2 weeks for vacation, I am only going to see her once before then, and if this still keeps up after she is back, she is getting the boot. This is defnitely not what I would be looking for long term.

I agree, gotta compromise. If she can't meet me in the middle somewhere then its never going to work. There is no one that is always going to want to do the same things all the time, thats life.

Maybe she is just really stressed from the holidays and just needs some time to simmer down and relax, so I am giving her the benefit of the doubt for the moment.

Either that, or she truely is a high maintenance bitch that will never be happy with anyone that isn't flying her over to italy for lunch. If thats the case, good riddance.