I just wanna get some stuff off my chest. I'm in a realtionship with a guy from the otherside of the atlantic who's 31yrs older than me, We've been chatting online for over a year now. We've grown somekind of weird bond it's too deep for words, it's like this bond is too deeply ancord to be broken. He lives in America, he's 48! On a shallow level this isn't my thing! But on a deep level he's everything I want! I wanna be with him, but it seems so impossible, so hard! I feel so exausted with life, like I'm too weak for it... What do you guys think? Am I messed up or what? I don't understand myself anymore!
Its easy to develop weird emotional bonds with people on the internet mainly because of the fact that u feel that you can talk to them about things in your life that you wouldnt really share with people that u kno. I think it is not a very good idea to persue a real relationship with this man. At all. You are 17, he is 48, that is very very dodgy indeed, he wont be able to give you what you want and when you grow up a bit i think that you will realise that this is really quite a silly idea. Go out n find yaself a fit young blokey n ave sum fun.
The odds are obviously against you but that doesn't mean things are impossible. Are you sure you really know one another and feel the same towards one another? It's difficult online, but you still have a chance. Just make sure it's exactly what you want before taking the next step and make sure you're both on the same page. Good luck!
this guys like a century older than her? I just really dont see the point to be fair. Dont mean to be all rar rar rar bout this but come on, do u really want to get jiggy with a guy that'll soon be goin to town to pick up his pension rather than goin for a good night out, dya kno wot i mean?
sorry, bit i gotta agree with raver...and for alot more reasons besides. I'm sorry, I'm sure yer very mature and all but theres too many differences, life experiences and emotional growths that make a difference at the ages you both are, and yeah..think about the physical too...you want someone kicking the bucket on yah when yer my age?....and I'm sorry its a bit creepy that a 48yr old man wants to persue a personal relationship with someone as young as you.
This guy can be your fucking father, dude. Usually, I'm lax about age and stuff...but seriously, you have to wonder what kind of man would want to date a guy who could be his son. And you...maybe on an intellectual level you guys can connect, but that doesn't mean that's healthy to build a real relationship on. I mean, there have been older people that I've known and have built intellectual connections with...but that doesn't mean I would want to BE with them. I don't know...I really think you need to access this situation from a distance. Seriously, think about it.
honey, i feel so bad for you to be in a situation like this, and you're obviously a bright guy, but something's very wrong with a 48 year old man having a relationship, albeit online, with a 17 year old boy. (you are a boy, your info says male?) .... i don't doubt that you've developed a very strong bond with him online, but there's no way you could pursue it. by the sounds of it, you kind of already understand that and are worried about what all this means for you, psychologically. my humble advice would be to gradually stop talking to him and start making more friends your own age; are you lonely at home? you're very young still, don't ever think that this is how you'll always be... it's a very tough age but it's over before you know it. hang in there dude, & stay safe. talk to a counselor at your school, maybe, if this is really troubling you.
It feels to stong to be broken, like this is all I need... All my friends are older than we 3 years older and older. I just wish my feelings made sence! I mean What's wrong with me? I feel trapped but deep down I wanna be trapped in this. I jsut wish I could understand why... I don't know any more my life and feelings are spiraling outta control!
How is your family life? Do you have problems at home? Do you have a father figure in your life at all? It almost seems like you're trying to fill the void of no father? I don't know, man. I really think you need some psychological help.
Your probibly right, I've naver really had a mother or father figure. Maybe this is what I need? Maybe It'll do me good to be with him? Where could I go for help? am I that messed up?
I don't think that you're too messed up, just confused. This guy that you're talking to here in the states, though, is the one that's messed up! the chances that he's just using his life experience to reel you in for his own twisted amusement, I'd say, are quite high. If you want help, contact your doctor and ask them who they recommend you talk to as far as psychiatrists' go. I'll always recommend people to talk to a good therapist, even if they're perfectly fine, it's usually pretty beneficial, but only if you actually want it to be.
No, see...I'm not saying that you should be with this guy because he can be a father figure. I'm just saying that more likely than not, the reason you're so attracted to a man that's so much older than you...is because you didn't really have parental figures, and maybe that has left a void in your life. I don't think it will be good for you to be with him, because I think it'll just confuse you all the more. As far as getting help, I don't think you're THAT messed up. The fact that you realize this might not be a good thing and are asking for advice means that at least you're looking at things a little objectively. But I would say to maybe see a school counselor if that's possible. Good luck with your situation.
are you gay? is he gay? is this a sexual kind of relationship, or are you just close conversationally? how do you feel about him?
I'm gay, he's gay. Our relationship would be sexual if we were closer, but right now it's conversation over Yahoo! and over the phone. I feel like I wanna be with him for the rest of my life, despite the fact he'll diw way before me, despite the distance, dispite all the obsitcals I don't know what I want! Why's it so hard to understand how I feel about everything! I need answers but they all seem to lead to more questions! I think I need phycological help, I dunno if I can do this anymore! My feelings are ripping me to bits! All my feelings feel too stong, too deep!
If this guy really loved you and cared about you...I think he would know what this is doing to you, and have the decency to know that this can't be healthy for a 17-year-old guy. You may feel strongly about each other, but if he really cared, he would put your well-being above everything. What does he want you to do..spend the rest of your life with him? That's not fair, considering he's had the chance to live his life, and you're just beginning.
