Getting Married shouldnt people care?!

so next year me and my fiance Rich are getting married june 27th i've told my parents the news and he told his parents and we've told friends etc. and NO one gives a shit

my parents haven't said anything in 2 weeks about the wedding nothing about planning or helping me plan. they haven't told like anyone else in the family it's like they are ashamed.

Rich told his dad and step mom and his dad seems the be the only person we have told that its excited about this!

i'm feeling very depressed that my own parents are acting like they don't even care that thier only child is getting married. we only have under a year and a half to plan this thing! that means by june at least find a banquet or place to hold the reception since the wedding is in june on a saturday it is probably going to suck finding places.

i just don't know what to do and because no one else is excited its very hard for me to be too as much as i love rich and want to marry him no matter what.

any input?

Edit: we broke the news like two and half weeks ago to my family

 

A year and a half is an awful long time to sustain excitement. Its also plenty of time to plan.

Congratulations, I'm happy for you. But expecting your wedding to be the center of your families' lives is a sure path to Bridezilla-dom.

 

yeah i dont want it to be that way but my parents are in denial i think and don't believe me when i say im not waiting 4 years to get married

 

they probably dont exactly approve, and rather than yelling at you or trying to talk you out of it they simply arent going to be uber excited and supportive
tis better than trying to sabotage the wedding or break you two up, isnt it?

 

Do they not approve because you just graduated highschool? No disrespect but 18 is damn young. The amount of people you meet in a 2-3 year spam espically at that age, yea... I dont know the whole story but 18 is well, to damn young if you ask me. Either way good luck =]

 

Maybe they just think you need more time to decide on such a thing. But if this is what you know you truly want, go for it.

 

it's not so much the done thing to get married at 18 anymore. the prevailing thought is of barefooted kissing cousins in appalachia anymore. i would be embarassed, seriously, if my daughter was getting married so young. they usually end up divorced within a couple years, tops. there's the rare case where they stay married, but it's really rare. i don't hold out much faith in your marriage, and i bet your parents don't, either.

i know how harsh that sounds, but you can hardly get pissed with them, they're likely thinking "we're gonna spend money on a useless wedding for children?" sorry, it's how i'd feel.

 

^ I think that's a pretty horrible thing to simply assume. You don't know her or him, you don't know how long they have been together, you don't know hoe good their realtionship is, etc. etc.

I do agree with your main point however, that that is the general consensus these days.
We live in a time of heavy cynicism, and little hope/faith. Whereas, I generally am against rushing into things and young marriages and such. Sometimes, if it works - it works.
I know a couple that are both currently 19 and have been together nearly 6 years, with no foreseeable end.
And I may be a bit bias here, but my relationship seems to be one of the most together I've ever seen, and not only are we young, but it's each of our first relationships.

 

When my daughter was younger, she was engaged several times and wondered why I didn't get more excited. Well, I was waiting a bit to see if it lasted. It never did. She's 31 and hasn't been married yet. 18 is really young to know what you want for the rest of your lives.

 

im not even going to respond back to any of this. since everyone who pretty much responded stuck him and i into a stereotype you dont know anything about us.

 

If it were either my 18 y/o or 20 y/o coming to me with the news of engagement I would be skeptical and would advise them that they needed to think long and hard about it. If the wedding date was planned for a year and a half out I would be like, "Yeah, sure. Come talk to me in a year and well see where you stand then."

No offense or stereotyping intended. It's just that most of us who have lived beyond the early 20's know that we weren't ready to take that step at 18. You may be and I wish you the best in life and happiness.

As for your parents, any parent that would jump for joy and start planning a wedding for an 18 y/o a year and a half in advance isn't thinking straight.

 

of -course- we dont know anything about you two! all you provided for information about the two of you was your own age. weve never witnessed you and him together as a couple. if we only have a coupel facts to work off if, it is unreasonable to expect us to have a deeper understanding.
the fact is that MOST young marriages dont work out, primarily because peopel are still changing dramatically up to their early 20s (genearlly speaking). your parents are still getting over the fact that you arent a dependent child anymore. theyre remembering all the mistakes they made at 18 and worried youll do the same or worse. theyre worried that this marriage isnt going to work otu because MOST young marriages dont. yes, theres a chance that yours will work - but theres also a good chance that it wont and your parents are worried about you sinking in money and getting hurt over somethign that may end up floundering.

so perhaps instead of this passive aggressive crap, you could try -talking- to your parents about how they feel about you being engaged and having a date already. perhaps you could try COMMUNICATION instead of giving us only a couple facts to work with and pouting that no one said what you wanted them to say.

 

i don't think it's horrible at all. she wanted to know, i said so. 18 year olds just about NEVER stay married. too young. i was with my ex all through high school, and for another 5.5 years. we STILL broke up, horribly and viciously. i never once saw the marriage between children work. hell, my sister is 22, i still think she's too young to be married, but what the hell. just don't expect people to get all giddy about it.

 

AND you respond according to the stereotype, as well. i'm sorry. it's ugly, but this is somethin you're going to be getting the WHOLE STINKING TIME. you might as well have said "whatev, talk to the hand." why'd you ask if you didn't want the ugly honesty?

 

I personally think its very sad that people place so much emphasis and assumption upon a number and are adamant that all their feelings about that number are absolutely correct and sum up those people entirely. Wisdom, they call it. I call it a foolish thing to assume a grand multitude of things about a person based on how many times their body has travelled around the sun as far as they see it

Shame? Too young? You know that sounds ridiculous to me PERSONALLY because of my experiences. See, not everyone leads exactly the same life pattern. Some children are old and some 70 year olds completely immature and under developed. After around age 11 I was cooking and cleaning for myself, at 16 i lived independently and I am now 19 and will be 20 when i marry

I can tell you that at 18 I was more than capable of making such an important decision. Some people have children at that age. This seems to be more an American thing...why are fully grown people so babied over there? Why is an 18 year old SO much different from a 21 year old? Ill be 20 when i marry...which catagory do i fall into? The perfectly acceptable or the "shameful"? Why make the damn catagoies anyway, is the point im making

Back on topic, which is these two adults getting married, its probably just sinking in for them all, the good thing is you didnt get a negative reaction. My mum didnt seem overly excited for the first few weeks but i think she was just getting used to the idea, she soon realised how close it was and began planning with me and being ever so supportive, encouraging and happy

Good luck

 

Also i cant believe the amount of answers here giving this kind of criticism. Growing LESS wise as you age is really such a common thing? And "blah, blah, its because youre young yourself", you say If you could ask me again in 30 years youd see...unfortunately that isnt going to happen...youll be too busy planning your retirement, taking caravan holidays and walking with sticks, wont you oldies?

 

Have i heard this somewhere before KC?
Ill say what ive said before, if youre just going to use someone elses differing viewpoint as "evidence" that you were right all the time, then how are they ever going to express their views properly? And therefore how will you ever learn? Its obvious the lady is going to defend herself and her views, so why say "youre responding according to the stereotype"...what good is that going to do anyone? Its basically saying "Im right, no matter what you say in your defense youre wrong because your words prove it because youre young"...Shes hardly goingto say "Oh actually KC youre completely right, im far too immature, sorry" because thats not what she believes, quite rightly!

 

she coulda said, "i don't agree, but i see that i'm going to have to put up with this crap until i prove them wrong." pretty simple to me. but then, i'm a grown up.

the simple fact is that people change SO FREAKING MUCH between the ages of 18 and 25. i've seen countless people get married too young and divorce. hard to get enthusiastic about it. but then, i don't hold out much hope for most adult marriages, either. people don't think right about marriage any more. why bother?

 

age isn't just a number, either. it's a biological / cerebral fact.

 

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