"Getting Your Attention" Fuck you. Fuck me. Murder. Greed. Apathy. Taxes. Rent. Gas. Truths. Lies. Bullshit of all types blending to thrust into the spotlight like an impotent cow. The limelight blinded by rage, deafened by adverts. Do I have your attention? For more than a second? You're listening and watching too fast to make a difference. Run to your hole abode. The whole reason you want to come out & play. Until I yell for you louder and louder... Fuckin' 'A' playa! Don't I have your attention?!? Am I a playa hata? What's the fuckin' difference. You'll forget about me When you go back in in the next second... ...the second your mind is turned off. (this poem is copyrighted by the writer)
The truth is, it wasnt that good, dude. It looked like you read some beat poetry and then decided to go nuts. For one, it wasnt really neccessary to curse so early in the beginning to get the readers attention. Hell, it didnt really need any cursing. I did like that in the middle of the poem how well it flowed, however, you completely destroyed the poem when you wrote playa hater! The poem just lost steem from that point on and was too distracted by the poor choice of words to be interested in the rest of the piece. I also kind of felt like Ive heard the whole line of Taxes, death, greed, etc. Thats been overdone...a lot, usually at coffee houses where no really cares what the reader is saying. I did like your flow though, and there were times that the poem was enjoyable, mainly the middle part
