*** Randomfest 2008 ***

bridget jones, will you not make another movie

 

Haha, Chief, I never saw the last one, but I loved the first one. I have the dvd.

 

i'm gonna take acting classes
you'll start seeing me in movies i'm sure
it's the dream

 

My onion is starving, what the fuck are you looking at? Rachel Ray is a tapdancer.

 

I flip houses to buy my roaches sack lunches so they can sell my desert roses on the boulevard.

 

i give sack lunches to the homeless

 

The director of my school looks like a taller, camper Jackie Chan

 

heres a convo between my friends and i:

"OK i thought of a new one."

"no i dont wanna hear anymore, your nasty for even telling me the other ones"
"yeah dawg i dont think i wanna hear anymore."
"well this in the only one and then im done making them.......for now"
"fine what is it"
"Wait, i dont think i wanna hear this"
"dont be a little bitch man, its only words and its not like any of us are gonna actually do it.......REGGY!"
"WHAT! im not gonna do any of these, their nasty"
"yeah right, your probably gonna go home and try it with your mom. nasty ass hole"
"ANYWAYS.....it goes like this: i call it.....the Vortex..."
"okay that just sounds bad and wrong and vile and putrid and disgusting in every single way shape and form"
"JUST SHUT UP AND LEMME FINISH!!"
"okay damn...sorry"
"yeah you dont have to yell"
"JUST THE HELL UP!, this is what you do, when your having sex with your significant other, you take a power drill and stick dead center in their pubes and turn it on at full blast, then when all the hairs have wrapped around the drill you yank it out as hard as you can making your significant other bleed tremendously from their pubic region."
"AW GOD DAMN THATS NASTY AND HORRIBLE"
"dawg i did not need to know that, seriously"
"dude thats just nasty'
"yeah what the hell is wrong with you man"
"when do you come up with these kinds of things?"
"........second period.....i had a sub."
"thats still pretty damn vile"
"well you know what, you can all suck my balls and go vortex eachother'
"ewwwwww"

 

You that nigga' wanna be, cause you can't burn a christmas tree, and yo' mamma sells her pussy fleas.

 

the vortex is no where near the nastiest shit i've heard.....

 

Obese Louise fries cheese between her knees.

 

i'm so wanting to do something

 

my brother is too tired to drive me to the bar
LAME!

 

my mother is too drunk to drive me to the bar
WHAT A WENCH!

 

ya'll strugglin..

you need some OUTKAST in ya' life


"Welll it's the M - I - crooked letter, ain't no one better
And when I'm on the microphone you best to wear your sweater
Cause I'm cooler than a polar bear's toenails
Oh hell, there he go again talkin that shit"

 

you know exactly how i feel then
yay

 

That was such a Freudian slip.