Girlfriend Problems

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over 2 years now, I am at college and she is a senior in high school. My college is about 2 hours away from where she lives so we usually try to see each other at least every other weekend. She has always kind of been the thing that kept me away from smoking pot. I have a lot of depression issues so I used to smoke a lot to make myself feel better but then when I met her I didnt need to anymore.

Things have been really great but now she wants to go on a "break" because she says the relationship has been all about what I want and she needs some time alone. I tried to tell her that I really need her to be there for me so that I dont get back like how I used to be but she isnt taking me seriously. I really dont know what to do, I hate living the way I am right now and the only thing that even makes me feel excited is the thought of blazing now.

Does anyone have any advice as to what to do? I really want to give her space but at the same time I feel like if she ever does want to get back together (she says when I come back after spring semester) I will be a really different person.

I appologize to those who dont like hearing other people's problems, I know I am like that sometimes

 

tbh, this "break" is gonna be permanent. one of my exes did this to me. for basically the same reason. sorry bro, but you proly need to cut her loose for good. act for yourself from now on. maybe it will make her regret it if you act like it doesnt matter. but dont get your hopes up.

once again, sorry bro

 

besides maybe "someone different" is just the thing she wants.

 

based on personal experience and my understanding of les femmes en general, I really have to agree with makesmomcry420 on this one...

 

senior in high school with no concern for your feelings. not worth it. theres always the chance she'll try a new guy and come back to you, but its gotta be right. she'll be different, so will you in a few months.

I asked my FWB to be my boyfriend, and he said no. I joined the navy, and when I got back 7 months later we healed and have been together since then. I should have known we were meant for each other in high school, and right after, but I didn't recognize it at the time. we broke each other's hearts in a horrible way. Now we are fine, but it was an uphill battle.

you have to give her room to grow, if she won't listen to words, write it on paper. sometimes things are easier to read. open you heart to her, and see what she does. the result may not be what you want now, but you'll be better off knowing you tried.

Good luck

 

Hi - I'm gonna offer you another point of view - a break may be ok. Sometimes when two people have been really close, its a good idea to get some time alone for a while before trying to continue the relationship. You said she was the thing keeping you away from pot. That kind of reliance on another person can put a real strain on a relationship and that may be one of the things she needs to get some space from you about.

Best thing to do is start asking her questions in a real neutral way, like, a curiosity, trying to understand & see thing from her p.o.v. Also, this sounds like a good time for you to work on your sadness & any kind of habit forming stuff you do to keep the sadenss away (like smoking pot, or warcraft...)

Don't give up, or be too discouraged. This could be a grownup step in the direction of a better relationship, or at least some really good growth. Good luck!


ps: There's a nice book called "If the Buddah Dated". Its got a lot of good thoughts that can help. charlotte kasl is the writer

 

I dont think that because she wants a break it needs to be permanent, sometimes people just need some space and figure out some things in her mind. I understand that you feel like you need her and that you wont be doing ok without her, but a healthy relationship shouldnt be based on need. Maybe this break might be good for you too, find something that makes you feel happy about life, besides your girlfriend and weed.
I kinda understand how you feel, Im a very depressive person too and sometimes I rely way too much on the people who are close to me for my own happiness, but real happiness can only be found inside of us and only then it can be shared with another person.
Look at this time off as an opportunity for personal growth, finding out more about who you are and instead of getting stoned all the time, do something that really brings something positive into your life.

 

get out of the relationship. you want somebody who accepts you and all the aspects of your personality, not somebody who prevents you from being who you are and what you like to do.

 

time for the old wrist violin, the only way

 

dont listen to makesmomcry, maybe she just needs a break. If you truely love her then get her back, dont just cut your losses.

 

boy you make it seem so easy, im sorry but he really shouldnt get his hopes up about a highschool girl :behead:

 

true, act like your independent for a while maybe she'll regain some interest.

 

Well what sucks is that I know she is going through a really rough point in her life right now, but instead letting me be there for her its like she is shutting everyone out.

It is hard for me to open up to people, and we have just been through so much together that I didnt expect this from her. My head is telling me to try and forget about her but I know I never really will, so it kind of sucks.

It might be "just a highschool relationship" but we went through more stuff than a lot of 40 year old relationships have.

 

im not lying when i say i know what you are going through, trust me, before my last girlfriend i was a hopeless romantic, a classic "nice guy". and i quit weed too, because i didnt think i needed it. but shit happened, as it always does. now im a shallow, angry, assholeish, prick incapable of "love"

the reason is, she started cheating(but i didnt know yet), and asked for a break. she couldnt fool me, i knew what was up, so i dumped her ass then she revealed her "exploits"

and you havent gone through shit till your girlfriend owes you hundreds of dollars.

please take my advise, dont concern yourself with her anymore, live life how you want to. maybe fucking some random bitches is just what you need to see the truth.

 

gah, try several thousand... thas what my ex owes me... not like i'll ever see that money again

 

most times when a girl says she needs a break it a way of telling you it over without sying it.but its not always the case and doesnt always have to be that way.give her the break.dont bother trying to fix anything right now.let her go.start living your life the way you want to live it.when she sees you are happy on your own and doing good she may realise that she made a mistake and want to try again or she may not.but dont hold onto the hopes that she will come back to you.take some time to be alone and think about yourself and then start dateing again.my ex said the same thing to me.except i did what i just told you to do.and it was working ok till she started calling and comeing around again.i shouldve just kept ignoring her.

 

you wanna hear about an ex oweing money?try haveing your ex owe you about 70,000.00.i payed off all her debt from her divorce.payed for her daughter to go to dance classes,girl scouts,softball and everything else while she used the child support check to pay her cell phone bill.ill never see it.i cant find all the cancelled checks from paying off her bills.but you better believe she has everything to say she leant me 1200.00 and is taking me to court for that as well.all i need is one cancelled check and that will get thrown out.

 

^what a shitty situation you got yourself into

 

ooooh i know and im not even asking for the money back.could care less about it.ive wasted more than that on stupid shit.i blew about 30,000.00 on 1 of my trucks that now just sits in my friends driveway.

 

Go to your bank and have them dig up copies. Alot of banks do check imaging and then you have a perfect legal copy with her sig endorsing them. May cost a few $$.