So... a long time ago I was quite good at hating. I'd really rip people to pieces. I was very emotional back then. People regretted messing with me despite not expecting to, and I made even the biggest self-claimed bad and cold-hearted people angry. Nowadays... I've wisened up a lot. And while my hate has won me great strides in life... for it helped me to think, to be independant, to be healthy, and even richer... I don't know, along the way I think I became a bit too wise. Now, I have interesting theories about hate. Hate is like an immune system, so it helps cleanse the mind of lies and the heart of other people's negativity. It helps burn away what is bad. And to be cleansed internally, helps healing. This has helped me become younger and stronger and better looking and more confident. I can tell you after a good hate session, I can see the difference in the mirror. Especially a few years back, I felt I could live on pure hate alone, for thousands of years perhaps. I used to imagine black clouds flowing through my veins, like a soothing calming gas. But my blood was always still red. I took it as a sign that no matter how much hate I'd acheived, I can't have over done it, if my blood was still red. So I was safe in my hate. But nowadays... I feel there is a problem. I've become wise... too wise. I'm not sure exactly what is wrong. It's like I'm... holding myself back. Back in the day, I never really bothered about the social consequences. To hell with them. I got my way, and I always found a way to unleash my hate upon the guilty parties. It was like reality itself was helping me. Even as someone tried to ban me in one way to stop me telling them the truth about how nasty and evil they are, I found another way to tell it to them. Eventually, my message always got through, without too much delay even. And I felt better after having made them realise how fucked up and unfair and nasty they were to an innocent me. But these days... It's like I seem to worry about social consequences. You see... I have these ideas of changing the world. No... not changing, transforming. To found a world based on logic, truth, where both spiritual and physical sides of reality are accepted. And to do that, my message needs to spread. But I can't spread my message if I only think about myself, right? I mean if I unleash my hate on bad people (Especially feminists), and the end result is that the others feel like shit (as they deserve), and I feel good after... But basically my message is killed cos no one wants to carry my message, it's too hateful for them to take seriously, they pretend it's a joke when they can see it's actually logical. isn't that kinda selfish? What about my higher purpose? My message isn't spreading, then. I don't expect to spread my message just yet. But I do expect to PRACTICE spreading it, becoming good at saying stuff that people want to carry with them. How can I say inspiring quotable stuff if I'm only worrying about my immediate satisfaction of killing all the evil liars who hurt an innocent me for having done nothing wrong? So I hold the hate back!! And... it feels wrong. Very wrong. I should let it all flow, just let the hatred flow. As it is meant to. But I'm not. I'm holding back. And... to be honest, it feels unpleasant holding back. Nothing I can't solve, but still, it's not right. It feels like�*I've committed a crime against hate. I've... neglected and betrayed the only thing that ever helped me in life. Betrayed a founding principle. And that is wrong on so many levels. And yet... you see there's a problem. If I can't hate the evil people (especially feminists), I can't prosper in life, and there will be no message to spread anyhow, as I'll suffer in life too much that I won't be able to make my message. But if I keep on hating like I used to, I'll never make a message worth spreading!! So... the question is... how can I increase the hate, let it all flow freely as it's meant to, as it used to when I was younger, and STILL create a message worth spreading, that will inspire people to hear my words. Or perhaps my problem is that I simply care too much? Perhaps people don't really deserve to hear the truth? And I don't need the acceptance of insane liars, I shouldn't care what everyone thinks no matter how "respectable" these insane liars all tell each other that they are. That must be it. Maybe that's why I've not been hating as much as I used to. I've started caring and respecting those who don't deserve it. Well thanks for helping me figure this out everyone! I know you didn't say anything yet, but sometimes just writing stuff down helps me get answers before anyone even replies.
Be a man not a mouse, If it’s hatred you need to vent then by all means do so or it will eat you up inside and consume you Hotwater
