just another worry to add to my list. what role does your family play in the life you have as a parent? does your family live near by, do they have a big role in your child's life? how important is it for you, personally, to have your family around? does it make things way easier in terms of having a shoulder to lean on? i ask this because my mate and i are in for a big transition, we are considering moving far from both our families. not to get away from them (i'm already far from mine, but we live in the same town as his), but for school and lifestyle preferance. i'm wondering if this move will further isolate us from an already scary position (parenting!) part of me wants us to move home to live with my mom. but every time i think about this, i remember that i just left! it took me a long time to get my act together enough to leave. i don't want to raise my kid where my mom lives.
I live close to my mom, and she is pretty much my only family I have remained in contact with. But I dont know, I mean Im a single father of a 2 year old, and other than the maybe once or twice a month that my mom sees him, she has pretty much nothing to do with my role as a parent. Sometimes I will call her like when Jack is showing signs that he is very ill since Im alone and this is still a learning process for me, but I could always call her no matter how near or far away I lived. Do you mean like, in terms of babysitting or just generally lending a hand? I never have a babysitter and in fact since becoming a dad, I babysit for my mom with my 3 younger siblings! :tongue:
You need a support system wherever you live. Remember the old line, "It takes a village to raise a child." But often times that village does not need to include your parents. If your values and theirs clash too much you may not want to live near them. I felt much more comfortable as a mom after I lived far away from my parents. My husband's parents live about 10 miles from us. We see them on Christmas and Easter and maybe a half dozen other times during the year. They are not that involved with our lives. Kathi
I moved away from family 2 years ago. We are only 4 hours away from most family. No one ever comes to see me, it hurts my feeling a lot. Even when I had my baby, only my mom and sister came, and it seemed like my sister was so put out by having to go. My other sister didn't even meet my daughter for months after she was born. I am expected to be the one to bring the kids to see them, even though the road runs both ways. I already told my family that I will be having my son's birthday party in March. They asked if it would be where they live, I said no because his friends are here. They already said that they won't be coming then, it hurt my feelings too. Since we left, I have not found a babysitter I can trust, so my hubby and I never go out alone. I miss the convenience of having family close by, and I do feel like the outcast now since no one can take the time for me. I think our move brought out the "true colors" of my family, they are self-centered and only think of themselves, even when I needed them most (except my mom she has come many times). So yeah, it is easier when family is around, but now that they have hurt me like this...I do not want to move back, even though it would make my life much easier.
My family lives all over the world. My brother lives closest to me (about 20 min) but my mom is 3 hours away. DP's family lives right here. Our main support and community, though, is our friends. We have a great group that would do anything for us, and us for them.
I live in a different part of the country to my parents. We're not exactly close. I suggest building a network of friends for support. Thats what my partner and I are doing. I've lived without the support of my parents since I was 16 and I think friends are a perfect substitute - better than my parents would be.
i am very close to my family. living across the country from them is hard enough. with a baby, it might be heartbreaking. however, i really really do not wanna move back there, i like it much better out here and think it'd be a way better place to raise a child. i would imagine that eventually my mom would move out here, but not right now. maybe in a couple years.
we hav elived close and far from parents. So far it has been a posative experience in all ways. It's good to be close and its good to have space. I know that sounds general but life gose on and grandparents will deal with long distance relationships when they have to. Kids will get use to the dynamic too. Just keep in touch..write and send mail and also get a web cam so they can see each other.
