10 reasons why kids suck...

Low and behold, 10 reasons why no-one should ever have, or want to have children. If you do have them, there's such thing as post-birth abortion. It's called murder...

1) their sense of humor stinks

as soon as a kid makes a joke you want to say something like "dude, that's fucking lame". Their humor is of a pathetic, sad level. They laugh about everything involving poop and pee (some of you still do). This kid I know has got a cell phone (why? not a clue!) and his ring tone is the sound of a toilet being flushed. And each time he's called (by who? the only person who's got his number is his damn mother and that one friend he probably made up), he starts to laugh like a mad man. Worst part is, his parents will start laughing too.

If a child farts, his mom will put her hand in front of her mouth while starting to giggle, and she'll say something like "oh, sammy!". The father will then look at his daughter with sparkling eyes, and will then pretend to tickle her. The only thing this'll do is encourage the little fart machine even more...

2) they are a nuissance in the supermarket

When shopping, I get run over by one of those hyperactive little fags chasing one of his friends like the supermarket is a damn playground. It gets worse when they can push the trolley. The little bastard will drive against your heels, witch hurts like a bitch. Once you arrive at the check-out, they'll see the shelves with candy and start to whine until they'll get something; causing a scene until their mother gives in. Supermarktets should ban children, especially at the peek periods...

3) Kids are self-centered

Seriously, they think they're the frikkin' centre of the universe. They believe the earth itself rotates around THEM. And they've trained their parents well... When you visit their parents, the kid will push their Winny the Pooh book in your hands, and they'll want you to read tell them a story. If you don't feel like it (it's not your kid, so why bother) they'll climb on mother's or father's lap while getting what they want: the parent will read them the story.

4) they're expensive toys

It's not just the standard stuff like clothes, your phone bill, food and drinks that cost you money. You should also think of the wearing down of furniture, the use of extra water (they get themselves dirty all the time) and electricity costs (can I leave the light on? there are monsters under my be"...). Let's not even start about their own TV, their own computer and internet connection, their three different consoles and their fancy clothes. And the cell phone costs which will be through the roof, if it's a girl. Statistics proove that one child costs 18% pf your net income, while 2 cost 25% and 3 cost 33%

5) Children KILL friendships

You must have experienced, or at least have heard about the phenomenon: you've got these great friends, they get kids and the fyou don't (you were always the smarter of the two) and the friendship is ruined. Dead. Over. Finito. You can't even have a normal conversations with these "parents". And when you'd try to, the subject would always be changed to that damn child! Or it'll interrupt the convo if it goes well... (mommy, I've got to pee. mommy, they touch my peepee. mommy, they don't let me touch their peepee).
Or the parent will be looking at that damn kid the whole freaking time. (hey, I'm sitting over here, bitch!) giving the idea they're not listening to you... which they probably aren't.


6) they steal your identity

Imagine asking your friend with a child how he's doing. As a parent, he'll be unable to answer that question like a normal adult - one without childred - would. They'll tell you all about their children...
"So, mate, how have you been doing lately?"
"Oh, Lizzy has been ill this week, it was terrible. She was throwing up all week long, the poor thing."
(first of all: I didn't want to know that. Second of all, you didn't answer my damn question!)

Or...

"So, I thought about going to the movies this weekend. What's good lately?"
"Oh, we just bought "lame children movie V", it's something different than buying Disney all the time, you know..."

... evil

7) Kids aren't "pure, honest and innocent".

Seriously, that's just a lie told by parents that are beaten up by their 5 year old daughter daily. Why doesn't anyone dare to face the cat that kids are cruel, cunning and just straight evil? Maybe even more than adults, since they've never learned how far they can go and where their boundaries lie. The way they treat each other in kinder garden would make the soldiers at guantanamo bay jealous!
And honest? Oh my god, are you serious? They'd do anything to get that candy. Or lie about stealing that cookie while they were f'ing holding the half they aren't currently chewing on!

8) Children are cool... I mean, cruel... to animals

They throw sticks at dogs (and try to do other things involving sticks, dog and asshole), they try to pet the goldfish or save them because they're drowning, smack their rabbits on the floor to make it lay some damn eggs and they chase the cat like they want to rape it (fortunately, cat's are man / woman enough to show them "the claw).

9) they ruin your interior

Maybe they don't do it personally (although there's a fat chance they think applying a new color to your walls with crayons was a good idea), but people with children will adapt their whole interior to these kids. Sofa's get these covers in all colors and with the most hideous prints, tables will be adapted so they won' die from a head wound when they run into it, and the whole damn house will be covered with their toys.

10) they're kids. 'nuff said (there was a real 10) but it was utter lame)



*disclaimer: parents / to be parents who want to kill me should sent their bomb letters to G.W. Bush, Oval Office, Washington

 

sweet i agree

 

I definately agree.

 

10 reasons to have untrained kids.

I dont really want kids but most kids are not that bad.

Bad parenting causes 1,2,3,7,8. I was none of those... and I think very few kids actually are.

 

Yes, lets stop having kids and end the human race!!! lol... jk. alot of those issues are caused by bad parenting. the rest of just a result of them being kids, lol. But seriously not all kids are evil.

 

I find it amusing that you were also a kid at one time.

Peace and love

 

With that all being more or less true, it's what made you...so don't take it too hard....Come to think about it, how about having your own kid and beat all the annoying shit outa him and make a new age of kids that are perfect from birth to adult.........

J.C

 

being a "kid" still, i feel obligated to say...
i am hilarious and you know it, the supermarket is a playground and i only whine to get candy every other time i go through the checkout, the world does revolve around me as does the entire universe, why should i have to pay for anything when my parents are just big bank accounts?, my parents don't have friends because their LAME so i can't screw them up, as i've said, my parents are LAME so i have to be enough identity for all of us, i only lie to get stuff that i want, the only reason i hit the dog with my baseball bat is because it started eating the sandwich i left on the ground, the house looks BETTER with my art, and i'm MUCH more mature than a "kid."

DISCLAIMER: this entire post was sarcastic and should not be taken seriously in any way.
calla.

 

Sounds like you just know some people that aren't good parents.

Kids can be cool, I know cool ones and I know annoying ones... WOW just like REAL people! ....weird.

 

1) their sense of humor stinks

I was born a smart-ass and I'll die a smart-ass...my sense of humor as a kid ROCKED, at least for a little kid. I still kinda think bathroom humor is funny, and a lot of other people do. GET OVER IT.


2) they are a nuissance in the supermarket

Only kids with shitty parents who let them run the whole show...my folks certainly didn't. I stayed with my mom, didn't ask for shit I didn't need, since my mom actually took the time to explain that money from her wallet wasn't a neverending thing, and that it needed to be used to buy neccessities, and treats had to be earned through chores and stuff. Most of the time, though, if groceries needed to be gotten en masse, my stepdad would go it alone on Sunday afternoon so we didn't need to drag along the whole family.

3) Kids are self-centered

It's not just kids. Adults are self-centered, too. In fact, human beings are self-centered. Adults do things to help others because they feel like they'll get something in return, even if it's a sense of satisfaction for doing something good...which even though it's more noble than expecting money or goods in return, it's still self-motivated. Selfishness is an inherant human trait. Selfishness is the reason we have survived this long.

4) they're expensive toys

If there had been cell phones when I was growing up, my folks would have thought it ridiculous to give me one - my mom works with kids and bitches about them having cell phones when they're, like, 8. I was never a big phone-talker, even as a kid...I prefer to have long conversations in person, and I did as a kid as well. I did have a TV in my room, but it was a tiny little thing and I hardly used it, because I prefer books over TV - I was a bookish kid, I guess...I did have a computer, but my stepdad is a techie dork and builds PC's for fun, and we had a computer in every room, but mostly I used it to type papers and stuff, which is usually a requirement in school. Plus the one I had in my room was old as fuck and hardly ever got used except for a word processor, and it was off much of the time. I never had a phone line in my room, so I couldn't have had a 'net connection in there. We all used the living room computer for internet. Your sexist assumption that all girls take up tons of time on the phone isn't cute. I have plenty of male friends who drive me nuts on the telephone and blab on and on when I'm trying to get them OFF the phone.


5) Children KILL friendships

Not so. I've had a few friends who've had kids, and it's been fine. Sure I can't spend as much time with them as I used to (hey, that's the natural progression of life), but we still hang out, and they're grateful for the opportunity to get out of the house and have some normal adult conversation about stuff not related to their children. Some people who hate kids might not be able to handle it, but I don't hate children (just the shitty parents who turn them into brats), so it's not a problem. My friends are decent parents who don't let their children run their lives...it's amazing what a little discipline and boundaries can do!


6) they steal your identity

What you should say is that being a parent becomes a part of your identity. Sorry, but when you choose to have kids, you have to accept that being a mom or a dad is now a part of who you are. You don't carry a child to term without bonding to it unless you're some kind of sociopath or don't have maternal instincts (and then, I ask, why would you if that were the case?). And as a guy you don't stick with your woman through morning sickness and all the other fun that comes with pregnancy unless you actually give a damn about the woman and the child coming out of the woman. If someone enjoys being a parent, that is part of their identity. It does suck that people forget to have time to themselves, but our society makes that hard to do - usually both parents are working, and childcare costs are through the roof, so free time that parents have is usually spent with the kids, and they don't get that time to themselves. If we structured our society differently, maybe parents could get a break more often.

This is also a reason I'm waiting until I'm older, and in a solid, stable relationship before thinking of adding more humans to the world (and shit, since there are so many humans in the world, I might just adopt, who knows?). It's not the kid's fault if the parent had them too young to be able to find out who THEY are before making that leap into parenthood.


7) Kids aren't "pure, honest and innocent".

Newsflash: NO ONE IS. But with the right parenting, kids can grow up to at least be somewhat more honest than the majority of parasites, I mean humans, running around.


8) Children are cool... I mean, cruel... to animals

Maybe stupid kids, or kids who's parents let them get away with it. I was playing with some kittens as a toddler, and I was handling them roughly. I got spanked for that, then taught that animals have feelings just like me. I felt really bad that I'd handled the kittens roughly after that, and have actually turned out to be a huge animal lover. If I end up not having kids, I will be the crazy cat-lady when I get old (although I won't only have cats, I'll have dogs, chickens, pigs, and other critters as well). I grew up in the country and we had stray cats having kittens on our land all the time, so as I grew up, I learned how to care for animals very well. If kids are taught not to behave like that, usually they won't, unless they have some psychopathic disorder. Serial killers often display being cruel to animals deliberately when they are children, but that's kind of a special case.

9) they ruin your interior

Well, when you have kids, you get the whole package. Yes, kids are messy. Most people know this going in, and prepare for it. I guess I don't place a high value on having the nicest stuff since I'm a poor college student, and have clumsy roommates so I guess the thought of my interior being "ruined" doesn't strike fear into my heart. Plus I'm not a materialistic person who bases my life's value on things or how my interior looks. People are what matter to me, personally..go figure.

10) they're kids.

And you were a kid once, and I bet you weren't a perfect little angel at all times, were you? It's fine if you don't want kids, in fact you should never have them since you hate them so much. Never go into a professional field involving children, either, for that matter. But if you like this whole nifty human race thing, people do have to have them. Sure, people should be more disciplined in their raising of them, and many people who shouldn't have children do, but until we've implemented some kind of sterilization program for the stupid/inept, we can't really control that.

 

I despise children. And yeah, I would have hated myself when I was younger as well, even though I was a total dweeb who watched the history channel instead of cartoons.

 

I feel like that post was filled with mean, untrue assumptions based on experiences with obnoxious kids.

 

I love kids. When they're raised right they can be really cool.

 

I can't stand kids. Could be, because all the kids in the neighbourhood are brain dead little shits.
And as a kid, I was nothing like they are today. I was far from obnoxious like so many are now.

 

I like kids age 4-11 much better than kids age 12-24. The reason is because it's right around age 12/13 that they start thinking they know everything, and they don't let up until around age 25, MAYBE... and it pretty much gets progressively worse as they grow. That's 13 (or more) years of thinking they know everything.

Anyway, if you're not willing to do all the work and put all the time and energy into raising a kid then by all means you shouldn't reproduce. But don't whine about it when other people are trying to provide the best for their family and that cramps your style.

 

I like kids.

Correction.

I like other people's kids, because I'm only around them for a short period of time.

 

im 15...ima kid?

idk but im never having kids.

 

Ten reasons why adults suck


Adults have started every war since day one

Adults drink and drive and kill kids

Adults abuse kids

Adults not kids are paedophiles

Adults produce and market drugs that kill kids

Adults produce and market tobacco which kills kids

Adults produce and market alchohol which kills kids

Adults produce and market firearms which kill kids

Adults get divorced which hurts kids

Adults give birth to kids then dump them

 

Ten reasons why adults suck


Adults have started every war since day one

Adults drink and drive and kill kids

Adults abuse kids

Adults not kids are paedophiles

Adults produce and market drugs that kill kids

Adults produce and market tobacco which kills kids

Adults produce and market alchohol which kills kids

Adults produce and market firearms which kill kids

Adults get divorced which hurts kids

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We were all once children before. Raised differently, from different cultures etc Adults are grown up kids and we all learn from our mistakes that we make from our every day life and you know not EVERY parent is like that.

 

I totally agree with the OP. But nonetheless, someone needs to bring up the kids (actually, a lot of people). Thank god I won't be one of them.