As a woman, I have to say that I think there should be more study of male sexuality. I don't think it is as simple as generally believed. Female sexuality is obviously complex: doesn't it freak you out that women who live together for a while will start to menstrate together? Clearly, women have a hormonal connection which drives such things. But who is to say that men don't? The effects may not be as obvious but could be there. And what about things like masterbation? We treat it like a perversion but I think it is an integral part of male sexuality. I don't really know why, but I think it is necessary for men. More so than for women. Does fantasizing about women inspire them to be more aggressive in competing for them day to day? I don't know, but I think there is more to men than meets the eye.
i think one of the reasons why there aren't more studies into basic male sexuality is because society likes to believe it's simple and straightforward. our society has a specific set of expectations of how men should behave, how men should be disconnected from females. but men do have their version of a period, where their hormones fluctuate. it's just not as extreme as women's. you live with a man long enough, he will synchronize with you. there are loads of studies on male sexuality, but where the money lies is in keeping them able to erect properly. we also all know how men get aroused. they tend to be more visual than women. though nothing is ever completely concrete. male sexuality is every bit as complex as female sexuality, but we women don't like to talk about it. there's a deep seated cultural influence towards shame in male sexuality. it's dirty, it's threatening, it's blah blah blah. when a man is away from his woman long enough, the sperm he produces tends more towards the "killer" sperm, which will kill any other sperm that doesn't match his own. did you know that? it's really interesting. basically, the whole point is that there are loads of fascinating studies out there, but you're not reading them, likely because you haven't been interested or comfortable enough to find them.
First up, I have to say it feels kind of wierd to be the first guy on this thread. But getting to my point, I generally agree with your statements. Female sexuality is very complex, but male sexuality is as well. I can tell you, guys are very hormonally driven. masturbation does come from the hormonal drive. The more the hormones biuld up, the greater the need to satisfy the sexual drive. Thus the need for masturbation if a willing female is not available. I don't know if fantasies make guys more agressive in competition or not, I suppose it could be a factor. Like you said, more studies may be needed to answer questions like that. There is definitely more to men than meets the eye.
You made some excellent comments there, argonmatrix. Very well stated. I especially liked this one: How very true.
well, on the other hand, women do get annoyed when men want sex sex sex all the freaking time and get sulky when they don't get it. suddenly it's a power play, when we're simply not in the freaking mood because you hurt our feelings, ignored us completely, didn't do what you said you were going to do and pretty much have NO PHYSICAL contact with us except to squeeze our tits when we're washing the dishes. it goes both ways. and a woman who uses sex to get money is a prostitute. why is anyone gettin gomotionally involved with a prostitute?
A lot of men are trapped in relationships by default. I went through a period like argonmatrix is talking about. Resenting gender roles. I still do. But there is really nothing that can be done about it, I don't think.
yeah, really, that's on you. don't do it. get the hell out of dodge, man. i just resent all the "using sex as a manipulative tool." concept. unless she's demanding you put money on the dresser, it's not a manipulative tool. i resent that my entire emotional landscape has been brushed off as simply a way to annoy men with how inconvenient i am.
Why pick sides? I think both sides are being manipulative --- in accordance with prescribed gender roles and for whatever evolutionary reasons. My advice to men: don't try to seduce women by doing things for them. THE only way I have found to seduce women that is in congruent with my personality and sense of pride is by being super-hyper-ultra aggressive and ridiculously unconcerned by rejection. Trying to seduce women through social skills and niceties is denigrating to both parties and just gay. Now, for women who wish to have relationships, my advice is to either get a chump, OR forge a relationship of COMPLETE mutuality. Which is to say, no gender roles. No male courtship, etc. Trying to attain mutuality by playing gender roles leads to the scenario you described KC, AND the scenario argonmatrix described. They are not mutually exclusive. In fact they are very much tied. KC, have you noticed I'm giving adivice again? I'm such a loser...
thats so true. a lot of guys dont get it though. I know it took me a while to figure out that nice guys finish last. You try to get to know a gal through the nice guy route, and you end up being "just friends". then they date some asshole and bitch to you on the phone and in the car for hours about how they hate their asshole bf, and they can never find a nice guy. lol.
