I need a womans perspective...

Hey ladys, I'm a 20 year old guy and I've been on and off with this 18 year old girl for about 2 years and 7 months..this is someone I truley care for and love with everything I am. We were together for all around 2 years and 2 months seperated for 5 of the months which consisted of two break ups both being her breaking up with me. Now, her first time leaving me was kinda was a respectful reason being I suppose I became to clingly and emotional and all around "attached" or obsessive and we got in alot of fights this occured after us being together for about a year and 6 months. That break up lasted for about a month, we are both pretty straight forward people especially her.. she is also very bipolar at times especially in her younger years.. so she decided to tell me what she had done with people during that month, which to my surprise was alot more then what i did and expected.


It hurt me pretty bad because I stayed so loyal to her during the month and yet she did not, I know we were apart/broken up but still it had only been one single month, nothing drastic of a sudden emotional change should of occured at least with me it didn't. Anyway, it took me about two weeks to start coping with what had happened during that month and she ended up "wooing me" yes haha she actually started to try and be the girlfriend she was before, and she ended up asking me out again and of course I forgave her and said yes. Well we were doing well as far as I was concerned for another solid 8 months until, again she made the decision to break up with me again.


This time was very odd, very random not exactly sure why. I know alot of you may think there was another guy and all that but there wasn't she is just a very confused girl and she always had been in long relationships being mine and one before me and never had really dated around. so she always questioned "us" and if there really was someone better, which definatley set me back, making me re-think why do i put up with this? Oh.. because I'm in love. Well, this turned out to be a 4 months break up and I actually ended up seeing another girl during the month of december trying to move on, she found out and got upset. It turned out me and the girl did not quite mesh to well so I broke up with her after a month and I continued to talk to my ex.


Everything was going great and fantastic until she told me that I'm not the only guy she likes right now in her life. Yep she was kind of dating some other guy while she was talking to me. Alot of people have told me she only uses me as a back up in case things go wrong and that she wants me all to her self and no one else can have me but she can have someone else.. if that makes any sense. well, i found out her and this guy have gotten pretty "intimate" with each other and still me being the heart of gold loyal guy i still have only kissed two girls sense we have been apart. But, anyway, we end up still talking and i try to deal with her "dating around" and i try my hardest to prove to her im the best out of anyone. So things start going great, she ended up droping the guy and continued talking to me... and everything was going great until she brought up her ex ex boyfriend, the guy before me! who she dated for 8 months.


She told me she still had feelings for him and the main reason she left me twice was because she wasn't sure if she wanted him or me. well being a tought guy i confonted the guy in a nice manner explaining to him that I wanted her happy and she wants to be with him and if he wants it then so be it. turned out the guy doesn't want anything to do with her and even trys his best to avoid her, so i told her this and told her she needs to grow up and forget about someone who doesnt care and look in front of her and see how much I care. well she did. and everything is going fantastic. I know she still obviously has feelings for the Ex Ex but this time she has a reason to get over it. So what i'm asking is what should I do here? we aren't "official" but we are definatley dating and kind of together.


We both act like it and I know she wants me to ask her out again but I'm not sure this time, I'm not who i use to be the clingy obsessive guy, who gets really emotional about everything and always starts fights and has no humor at all. I have turned into a very conservative man who knows his limits and knows just to have fun in life and she definatley sees it and i can tell she is growing on me alot more this time around then she ever has. so again sorry for such a long story! but its typical relationship hoopla and i had to express it somehow lol, so girls, should i keep doing what i'm doing? and be safe ? and not let myself get to attached? or should i just void this situation?

 

The less attention you give her the more attention she'll eventually give to you if she really wants you.
I started out much like that seeing two guys not sure which one to choose.
I chose quality (talking, sharing feelings, etc...) over quantity (sex, sex, sex).
She needs to have to find her own path.
Sometimes people are best left to be friends not partners.
It's a roller coaster relationship, it was fun while it lasted. At some point someones going to have to know when to get off the ride.

 

hey fallon, thanks for the reply.. your very right i have not been giving her half as much attention as i use to and she does seem to want and want, always saying she misses me all the time and wanting to hang out all the time, even trying to ditch her friends to hang out with me. but i insisted she did not and spent time with them instead. i think its getting to her alot more because how much i have changed, she sees im more of a challenge now and alot more mature with my emotions. but at the same time I still wanna give it time before we make any other decisions as in becoming official.