I put this in the sex forum just now, but I have a feeling all of the replies will be like "you should try it!!!" lol so I thought I'd post it here to. Cause I think other women might know how I feel, kinda compromised and not understanding why we're feeling so bad about it? Bleh I dunno. Anyway.... Here's the situation. I have a "friends with benefits" guy who, although I don't really want a relationship with, is REALLY good in bed. Rare to find a guy who makes me feel THAT good, usually the best sex of my life has been with women. But he makes me have like at LEAST 5 or 6 orgasms every time. So...even though I am not emotionally attached....I don't really want it to end just yet? At least not until I find someone else....not a relationship-someone else neccesarily, but you know... The one problem, that is now building up more and more...he really REALLY wants anal sex. Why???? I'm like, really really tight still, isn't that enough? arghhh But he wont stop trying to get me to do it. And....honestly, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO. There is nothing about it that turns me on even the slightest bit. And I know it will hurt. And most of my pleasure comes from the clit anyway....and the gspot can be reached through my pussy thanx. So whats the point?? Once, when we were both rollin on X (If you've never, trust met X is a sexual stimulant mostly), I let him put two fingers up there. And you know what? Even when I relaxed enough so that it didn't hurt anymore, nothing about it felt sexy, it just kinda grossed me out. And then when he took them out? It hurt for like ten minutes after that! So, if when I was THAT FRIKIN RELAXED two fingers hurt, how could I possibly take a dick up there EVER?? how will that not really hurt?????????? I've really tried hard to be open-minded about this, but I don't think I can do it!!!! I really hate this because its the first time in my life I feel like I"m not pleasing my lover, you know? Its like why does have have to want the ONLY THING I don't wanna do, SO much??? :-( At this point I don't even like him anymore, so if we never have sex again, whatever even though I like our sex, the main thing I want is to leave him wanting more. Its a pride thing maybe? I want him to remember me as satisfying, y'know? I remembered hearing once on that show, "talk sex with sue johansen" about how she had a section on the website about anal sex. So I went, hoping to find info on positions that would hurt less for women, etc. But although she had some of that, mostly it was just risks, which made me more nervous! I don't want to have tissues tearing up there!!!!!! Or a crack my rectum! Yuck! Arghhh I don't wanna have anything up my ass!!! If other people wanna do that, go for it, but I just DON'T! I dunno why I"m letting this guy who I dont' even care about make me feel so inadequate, but bleh. I dunno. Its just I'm thinking its either gonna have to be one of two things: I do it, or we're done. Which sucks cause the sex has been BEYOND awsome so far. But no matter how much I try to relax and get into it, when it gets right down to it, I REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT IT. *sigh* thanx for listening to me vent!
nope. don't ever feel pressured into anything. don't do it if you don't feel comfortable doing it. it took me nearly 10 years with my husband to do it, and while i enjoy it, i think it's not for everyone. so don't. i'm all for trying something, but not if i'm being nagged to. it just makes me dig in my heels and get REALLY annoyed, and that's not how you get relaxed. besides, you don't even have feelings for this guy outside of sexual. why bother?
Hey, Lilah. You might want to check out Green Goddesses post on what is commonly referred to as "pegging." Maybe surprise Prince Charming with a strap on. He might decide to drop the whole thing. Or get all turned on! :^)
^^ inclined to agree: you first, sweetie! seriously, this is not a committed in it to please the other relationship. Tell him lay off or sleep alone.
Don't let yourself be pressured into anything you don't want to do. Ever. For any reason. And tell him to stop pressuring you. Chance are, he's enjoying the "benefits" just as much as you and won't break it off over this issue.
Tell him you'd be willing to try it if he agrees to buy you stuff and call you his girlfriend. That may get him to stop.
Every guy I've ever dated has wanted the buttsex. No no no no no no no!!! I will never ever do it because it hurts and its invading and it makes me cry and its gross! My boyfriend loooves to bother me about it. If you were slightly interested, I'd say try it, but you say you REALLY do not want to do it so then do not do it. Fuck that guy I don't know why guys are obsessed with assholes, they watch too much porn I guess... just say NO!
Don't do something you don't want to do. Tell him to lay off or find someone else who wants to have anal sex. Not all guys want anal sex. My fiance has told me that he thinks it is really degrading for women and he would never want to do that to me. Also, it helped that he had an analoscopy for hemorrhoids- I was in the hall when this was happening and he was screaming in pain. He developed an understanding of how painful anal sex could be, plus he didn't find it appealing at all before. Don't let him talk you into doing this if you don't want to! How would he feel if you kept nagging him about how much you want to fuck him in the ass w/ a strap-on- do you think he would do it if he didn't want to? Hell no! So don't let him do that to you! Peace and love
im I guy and I dont think it's attractive or a turn on at all. it creeps me out a little. your asshole isn't built to have things shoved up in it. gd.
If I were you, I'd agree to try it on the condition that as soon as it becomes uncomfortable or hurts, it will immediately stop. The reason I say this is because you don't actually know what it's like until you've tried it. It seems unlikely that you will like it, but then you will have more evidence to draw on next time. This is what my girlfriend and I did. We both wanted to see what it was all about so we tried it and once I was in she said 'get out' and that was that. But if you decide not to, stick to your guns.
Men do not want anal because your vagina isn't tight, but because anal is taboo. The idea that "she gave me her ass" is a HUGE turn on for many men. The problem is that many men cannot accept "no." They keep pestering and pressuring the poor girl until she feels obligated to try anal. If your FWB wants anal and won't leave you alone about it get rid of him. Yeah, he may rock in bed, but he sucks in the compassion and understanding department. What you want to do sexually is YOUR choice and no one else's. No one should ever feel obligated to do something they are not comfortable with.
